Contd...........
But if we ask for some object of the world, then what ever ‘punya’ we accrue by virtue of pooja gets exhausted in exchange for our desire. So, nothing in ‘us’ changes. This is like using the earned money on ‘expenses’. So...........”
Her voice trailed and she sat there silent staring at the ground for long time to come. Some of us, me included were touched by what she just said. She had said it earlier too – many times but hadn’t given the reason and explanation. Today, she explained clearly as to why not to ask something materialistic against our ‘punya’. But still......... our immediate needs look so important and real that we still prefer them to change in our attitudes.........i mean, that can wait right?
...I know that priceless wealth is in thee,
But I do not
have a heart to leave the tinsel that fills my room....
(Geetanjali,
Rabindranath Tagore)
As already noticed by Nobel laureate Tagore, our heart tugs for tinsel of the world. This quote of Tagore she had quoted so many times and I loved it every time I heard it and today it seemed to reflect what I felt. It so clearly described the turmoil I felt at this cross roads. In fact, there was no confusion. I was very clear. I wanted what I wanted. Well, realization and other such things can wait! I mean the whole world enjoys and celebrates these goodies of life, then why should I lag behind?
Such thoughts kept pounding my brain for long time to come and she thankfully was lost to us. In a way, each was in a space that we longed to be in ...........
“Expectation is always better than Realization!” she used to say so often. Then I used to wonder how? But in a strange way I doubted if our today’s session fitted that bill and gave us, if not us at least me that experience. I expected a lot from this session. I didn’t know what. I wasn’t sure of what to expect. Yet my whole being was celebrating the ‘joy of expectation’ like never before. But, I can’t be sure of what I received now. It seemed to fall flat with a thud! It seemed to fall far short of my expectations. Here, the realization was far far below what I expected. Technically as I didn’t know what to look forward to, any ting should have come as a welcome shower but, no, surprisingly I felt a bit let down by her explanation. Was it the information that didn’t live up to my expectation or that knowledge she gave regarding our desires and how to go about getting them? Well, the disappointment was so strong that I didn’t and couldn’t analyse my thought process and get to the root of my suffering. I was left with my suffering or rather I let my suffering take over my senses........
This is what they called ‘maya’ and like Shiva, I need to go into deep meditation to be untouched by it......but for now............
1 comment:
Finally completed the topic on Shiva and Parvati.
Lots of learning.
Have understood the importance of sadhan especially hands on.
Yes when we do any Pooja with intention of material things our punya is reduced. Made so much sense to me. For that reiki is there intention reiki yes.
I didn't understand how to change attitude with Puja. I did understand the process of Abhishekam.
Like in reiki if we do rebirth meditation with that attitude we can overcome it. But how can chanting mm or Abhishek do it. Not doubting the process just not clear or it.
Please throw light on the same.
Walking on this path is the only agenda of life.
Like mam doing work on yourself and all the desires and need will be fulfilled more that you expect. So technically we don't have to literally work for a desire when we are working on our nature and attitudes rest is taken care of.
I have some how stopped doing intention reiki for my desires. As few of my desires fulfilled has got me in trouble today because of my attitudes.
Now I say a desire and surrender it to reiki as reiki knows what's good for me overall. Will be working on attitudes and will surrender the desire to reiki.
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