On pain in love

 

contd.....

On pain in love

Stop labeling it as ‘but he is supposed to do this’ etc. Just live that relationship and reflect on who you are in that relationship. If you have become a better person, then you are living that relationship right. If you are becoming a bitter person, then you need to work on yourself and drop that attitude say like conditioning etc. Bye and by you will flower into a beautiful version of you. And a day would come when you will master the art of being with anyone and being happy! Is it not what everyone wants!

Relationships are not the 'magic lamp' that we can rub to have our wishes fulfilled. They are given to us to make us selfless, pure in intent, for us to learn to give, learn and unlearn from each other and just to have a playmate who would play along in this process.

Need is same. What needs to be done is also given now! Just do it. Yes, it may take longer than usual. But hey, what’s the hurry?

****

# on love, relationships, expectations, being happy in relationships, love and pain, pain and suffering, disappointment, 

also read : https://kantipadam.blogspot.com/search?q=the+only+survivor+of+the+shipwreck 

Read this link given above to also questions like : 

• How to believe when things don't go as per our wish?
• Why do things go bad even after believing or doing reiki?
• Ill-health and death are part and parcel of our life. Yet we don't accept it when it happens to us or our near ones. May be the problem is not in what is happening. It is in our conditioning of mind that labels disease and death as bad and evil. The day we shift our perception on death and disease then our faith is restored. Our depression goes for a toss. And we develop clarity of thought that can see all events of life as important part of our growth and journey.

Points to be taken from this post :

• Relationships are not to be 'USED' to fulfill our desires. 
• When we USE PEOPLE  in our life as a means to fulfill our demands and desires, we suffer. This is 'lustful' way of living any relationship.
• When we LOVE PEOPLE  and use things of the world to express it then we experience LOVE. Such are the people who are happy in every relationship of their life. The people in their life are ever desiring to be with them. The people in their life say 'the best time of my life is when I spend it with him/her'.
• Use things and love people in your life. That is the 'right way' of doing things. That is 'Dharma'.
• Using people to get things in your life is the usual way of doing things and that ALWAYS  ends up being painful and causing suffering.
• Like in everything we have two ways of doing things - the usual way and the right way. 
• Your choice decides your returns. 
• You can't walk one path and want the result of the other!
• You can't USE PEOPLE and then want affection, concern, respect, peace, contentment and love in life!

On comment :

"The link given of the previous post is long written ones and yet it is appreciated now and found useful now!"

It shows - We don't remember all that we have read. So it is advised to go to older posts and re-read them again and again.

What we have read then wouldn't have resonated with us then. But now with better clarity of thought we are able to understand the old posts. That's why I repeatedly ask you to go back to older posts.

The way you read it then and the way you get it now reflects the journey you have made. That reflects the distance covered by your clarity of thought. Kudos to that! People always ask "but what did I get doing reiki all this years? my 'this' wish is still pending?" The answer to that is 'this understanding that you lacked then'. Got it?!?

On pain in love

contd.....

 

On pain in love

The basis of this relationship is ‘expectation’. You consider the person as a means to fulfillment of your desires. You consider you being in that relationship as an ‘investment’. If it is an investment, there ought to be ‘losses’ too in that! And that is why we end up being in pain and we suffer in our relationships.

If there was ‘love’, IF, then there never would be pain and suffering – at least the kind you are experiencing and complaining about. When a person is in love, just being with the person he loves is enough. What we receive and not receive NEVER matters! IF it is love!

This doesn’t just apply to man-woman relationship. It applies to every relationship – parent-child, friends, office-work, we with our job, master-student, employee-employer, nation-citizen, pet-master, Guru-disciple, God-devotee.

Use every relationship as a mirror that reflects your character. See how you handle it. That will tell you where to build your character. It will reflect what you need to drop. Then every relationship will become beautiful and fruitful.

contd.....

# on love, relationships, expectations, being happy in relationships, love and pain, pain and suffering, disappointment, 

also read suggested : https://kantipadam.blogspot.com/search?q=Life+is+a+journey+of+joy

On pain in love

 

On pain in love

The major misconception about ‘love’ is that ‘it makes our life better’.

Many of the complaints ‘in love’ are –

·       I am unhappy because of him/her

·       He/she is not living up to my expectations

·       I ‘thought’ I’ll be happy marrying him but my parents were right. He is not right for me!!!

·       Why can’t she be just as I want her to be!

These are scores of such complaints. They all look different. But no! They all say the same “that I EXPECTED to be happy in this relationship but it is not happening. This person has let me down!”

Situation is real. Pain is also real. But the ‘basis’ of pain blame and suffering is not ‘love’. It is ‘expectation’.

When a person enters into a relationship – whichever be it, it is to fulfill his need or want – physical, emotional or financial. When the need or want is not fulfilled he thinks the other person does not ‘love’. Think about it! Sit in meditation! Question your anger and disappointment. And to get the answer you need to put your ‘logical mind’ that gives you instances where you have judged his ‘love’ for you based on what he did or didn’t do for you! Put that logical mind aside! Don’t support your anger or judgement! Just look honestly in to your emotions and their base.

contd.....

# on love, relationships, expectations, being happy in relationships, love and pain, pain and suffering, disappointment, 

also read suggested : https://kantipadam.blogspot.com/search?q=the+real+growth+is+in+letting+go 

Questions addressed : 

• Why is there so much of suffering in love?
• Why do I have such a family? If only my family was different, I would have been more happier!
• Who are the people who are happy after marriage?
• How come so many people are happy in their life?
• If only my desires were met I would be so happy and there would have been no need for me to be angry and mean in life...

Points to be taken :

• As long as my expectations, conditioning of mind and my attitude is what it is, I am bound to suffer with whomsoever I live with.
• Change the attitude and see the relationship change for better.
• Change in life partner will not bring any joy in life. Only change in attitude can bring that joy in life.
• So we better change it with the present person and experience happiness.
• Sit with your parents to know their complaints about you. Then look at your complaints that you have with your kids. You will find it funny that it is more or less the same.
• You came out right (as per your idea!) so would your kid. So relax and just love your child. And before long he shapes up better than your fears and beyond your expectations!

Leather goods : They are those made from skin of cow, goat, camel and such animals. Bags, jackets. dresses, belts, bicycle seats and many more products are made up of these animal skin. The animal is sometimes even skinned alive and prone to slow and painful deaths. Sometimes, animal is killed just for its skin. Both ways it seems useless to buy leather bags and purses by killing these innocent animals. Google on leather and you'll find all the further info needed ......

On Chanting!

 

 Contd.....

On Chanting!

Sit in meditation. Look within. You’ll find your answers, solutions and root cause of all your problems within you ONLY! No amount of pointing fingers at others is going to solve any of your problems. Own up your attitude. Look at it. Understand yourself before crying about your life. The day you look at yourself and know your attitude which is stopping from letting abundance come into your life, your healing will happen instantly and your life will change for better faster than you can imagine.

OR

You can quietly skip this post and keep up with your demanding, crying and accusing nature.

See what attitude to drop and what to pick. Make right choices. YOU are to live with your choices. So be good to yourself. Make right choices.

And making right choices will come with regular healing that will eventually heal your ‘psychic impressions’ that is clouding your ‘clarity of thought’.

So be in sadhan till ‘clarity of thought’ comes!

***  

# on giving and receiving, giving without expectations, intention and its effect on receiving, expectations and receipt, life and its rules, laws of nature, abundance and its secret...

also read previous post : https://kantipadam.blogspot.com/search?q=old+woman+had+two+daughters

How was this post useful to you?

What are the points you understood?

Do you have any questions?

On Chanting!

 

 Contd.....

On Chanting!

One is bitter and complaining. He is ever demanding with /but I didn’t receive this or such things /experiences didn’t happen to me’. He is looking at what others have and desires what others have.

But the other is sensitive and so validates what Reiki/guru/god does to them. They are expressive of their blessings received. They look at every small receipt and sing praises of His Grace. When they see others receiving too, they see His Grace even in that! And hence their hearts is filled with joy and eyes wet with tears of joy – for they see His Love in all these acts!

Now, who is qualified to let miracles work through them?

Right from I dg reiki class we are told, reminded that basis of all our ‘karma’ is attitude. Now, do you see the link between the attitudes and ‘act that we perform’.

In the guise of questions you throw so many accusations like :

“….but maam, such big big things happen to them and to me even small things don’t happen…”

“ ..i hate God/guru. Inspite of doing pooja worth Rs. X he doesn’t fulfill my wishes…”

“I hate my Guru for making me do sadhan. I hate sadhan. I don’t want to change. I hate her for giving explanations to my questions….”

 Contd.....

# on giving and receiving, giving without expectations, intention and its effect on receiving, expectations and receipt, life and its rules, laws of nature, abundance and its secret...

also read suggested : https://kantipadam.blogspot.com/search?q=saint 

Questions addressed : 

• What is seva?
• How should one do seva?
• How seva benefits us?
• Why seva is an integral part of Eastern spiritual practices?
• Is giving physical?

Points to be understood :

• Every act in our daily life can be turned into sadhan - an act of worship. One can be in sadhan through all the acts of livelihood. But the key is to know the secret of doing the act 'right'.
• By saying 'I am doing without expecting anything maam, then why I am not getting what I desire or why am I suffering in my life?' seems to be contradictory - isn't it?
• Sit in meditation atleast for 15 minutes per day for atleast 7 days and try to find out a. how you feel while performing an act (pick up any act of the day for this exercise) b. Can you change the way you feel for better while doing the job? c. How would you feel if you change the way you feel while performing the job?
• Then try to apply it in your life. See if there is any change.

On Chanting!

 

 Contd.....

On Chanting!

One person does sadhan just to change his attitude. He accepts flaw in his attitude. He seeks ‘mercy’ in exchange for his sadhan.

While the Other person thinks he is ‘right’ and deserves to receive he demands his wishes.

Who do you think receives ‘blessings’ in the form of wish fulfillment?

The other agrees that he is not with right attitude. He is ever working on his attitude. He just ‘serves’ as a way to give back for all he has received. Who receives abundance?

One is grateful even for the pain and suffering and is ever singing praises of the Lord for being with him.

While the other starts his statement with ‘yes, yes, I agree I received but….’. By saying but he is ever negating all that is given to him by the ‘Lord’. What is the attitude that his every complaint and his whiny nature expresses?

Now, you tell which attitude will attract more miracles in his life?

One is counting his blessing, while the other his ‘yet to be fulfilled list of desires’. Who do you think is genuinely grateful?

One is bitter and complaining. He is ever demanding with /but I didn’t receive this or such things /experiences didn’t happen to me’. He is looking at what others have and desires what others have. 

 Contd.....

# on giving and receiving, giving without expectations, intention and its effect on receiving, expectations and receipt, life and its rules, laws of nature, abundance and its secret...

also read suggested : https://kantipadam.blogspot.com/search?q=Let+his+will+be+mine+-+sufi+saint

Questions addressed : 

• Why do miracles happen so often in some peoples' life while others are ever complaining of never having experienced it?
• Does miracle happen to all?
• How are intent and character connected? 
• How is character basis of our destiny or what we receive?

Points to address :

• Why do we turn blind eye to our intent?
• When we complain we look at what others receive and what we desire. If only we look at what their intent and attitude is and what our intent is, we would unlock the key to abundance in our life?
• Use your mind the right way. Let your question show you where your problem is. Now your question points accusing fingers at others. Change that. 
• If you want results like others, also develop their attitude.

On Chanting!

 Contd.....

On Chanting!

What was the return they got?

They experienced joy of completion and confidence that they could stretch their ability to take in more work. They didn’t look beyond that. They were just happy with this joy. They joy of completion gave them a high that they considered that itself as their reward for completion of set number of malas.

They enjoyed ‘the act’ of and that is the actual state of ‘karma-yoga’ that one needs to develop, live and apply in every walk and act of his! This ‘extra’ is for touching that ‘state’ and experience it. Now, the smart among them will slowly push it into other areas – slowly and steadily! This ‘extra’ is for that!

Act by itself gives result same to all! Here it means number of malas chanted will give same returns – logically. But in reality one receives more than the other – always!

Why? Because of his state of mind while doing sadhan and the intention behind doing that sadhan.

One person desires results in exchange for his sadhan. His desire is based on ‘kama’. The other person’s desire is to survive to be able to do more sadhan.

And the other enjoys the act of doing and feels fulfilled. He is not even bothered about the results. For him just the completion of that act is 'the result' that he is looking for!

Who do you think will find his desire fulfilled immediately? One thinks it is his right to ‘demand results’ in exchange for his sadhan. 

Contd....

# on giving and receiving, giving without expectations, intention and its effect on receiving, expectations and receipt, life and its rules, laws of nature, abundance and its secret...

also read suggested : https://kantipadam.blogspot.com/search?q=vidurani 

Questions answered : 

• What is the benefit of giving without expectations?
• Why our scriptures always asks us to do the work and forget the fruits of it? What is meant by that?
• How can one work without expecting anything in return?
• What is the secret of receiving abundance in life? How do I apply it in my life?
• If giving guarantees receiving then can I get away by giving huge amounts as charity after committing a crime?
• Can giving negate my ill intentions?

Points to understand : 

• No amount of sadhan is good enough unless it transforms our lower nature and takes us towards our higher self.
• Sadhan is rightly used ONLY when it is used to transform  our nature.
• People do use sadhan as a means to fulfillment of their desires. They are also right. But they are at the lowest step in the ladder of spirituality.
• Person who uses sadhan as a means to change his way of 'doing sadhan' i.e., when his intentions become purer and purer over time - that reflects that he has used his 'logic' and 'mind' the right way.
• Person who uses mind to demand the results of his sadhan is being fooled by his mind. His mind controls him and that is the cause of his suffering and his pain. In the process he also becomes pain to the people around him. No doubt he is not popular in any group.
• Every sadhan is there to rub our selfishness off us and let our selflessness shine forth. That brilliance of ours is for the world to see and acknowledge. That is the brilliance that will radiate truthfulness, purity of our intent and honesty of our character. That in turn will bring right people in our life. It will attract right situations in our life. That will bring abundance in all spheres of our life. 

On Chanting!

 

On Chanting!

During the last 10-15 days, i chanted  MM Chanting all day long along with reiki on and this was sent to all those who completed 250 malas of MM....

Chanting gives benefits - to each unto his own!

No chanting goes waste. Nobody’s goes waste! Everyone receives as he ‘chants’.

Why extra for people who did 250 malas? Is it the number?

No! It is not just the number. Number is just a figure that represents their ‘choice’. I gave all choice to choose the no. of malas that one wants to chant. And the people who chanted 250 are the ones who are eager to do sadhan not the easy way or of easy target. Most of them are busy with jobs etc and yet they chose that number. It shows commitment from their end. So, the extra is appreciating their ‘commitment’.

The willingness to work beyond enough is a wonderful attitude. This ‘extra’ is kudos to that!

They did it out of sheer you not expecting anything in return. For that nature of working without expectation – this ‘extra’! Throughout there was eagerness to complete, joy while chanting and smile on their lips. There was no frowning, no sounds of ‘abbaaa or ammaaa’ before sitting to chant daily. This ‘extra’ is for that attitude that they had while chanting – the attitude of enjoying the work taken. They weren’t doing it to show off to me or any one in particular. They weren’t doing it to later ask or demand returns for this chanting. They just did! They did out of ‘attitude’ that work given is worth doing and doing it with joy.

What was the return they got?

Contd.....

# on receiving and giving, miracles, blessings, grace, karma, destiny, life and its returns, intention and its importance

also read suggested : https://kantipadam.blogspot.com/search?q=you+receive+what+you+give

Points to understand and questions addressed:

• Why do we receive whatever we receive - be it people or situations in life?
• What is the basis of karma?
• Why we don't receive whatever we want?
• How intention plays a major role in our returns...
• Two people doing the same act receive different returns - why?
• How to use the 'law of receiving what you give' to bring more abundance in our life?
• Look within. Know yourself. Meditate about self. Meditate on self. Know what your true intentions are and change them accordingly to suffer less from the consequences of what you reap as your destiny.

On secret of abundance!

 

On secret of abundance!

One who knows enough is enough, has enough - Lao Tzu

also read suggested : https://kantipadam.blogspot.com/search?q=abundance

Where less is more!

 

Where less is more!

It is not about having less or having some deficiency in life. Baat kam ki ya pir kami ki kabhi nahi thi!

बात कम की या फिर कमी की कभी थी ही नहीं। 

What we lack is not the cause of our ‘unhappiness’. The assumption that ‘what we lack’ is the only source of our happiness – well, that assumption is the cause of our unhappiness.

We assume that if we ‘get’ what we lack we’ll end up being happy. It can be anything from physical well-being, the type of partner that we assume is right for us, financial abundance, success, recognition and so on and so forth!

But that is not the case and hence we end up being unhappy even after getting ‘what we lack’ one after the other. Heal that mindset! Heal ‘the assumption’ that something ‘owned and used’ can give me happiness. Become free of this ‘wrong assumption’ and experience happiness – now and here – now and forever!

This is the secret of happiness! This is the way to end pain and suffering in life!

# less is more, happiness, desire, lack of fulfillment, cause of pain and suffering, assumptions, clarity of thought, root cause of pain and suffering

also read suggested : https://kantipadam.blogspot.com/search?q=less+is+more

Getting what you asked for !

 

Getting what you asked for !

We all get what we asked for or what we deserve!

Know the difference!

Know what you got under which quota and address it accordingly!