On decisions

 

…contd….

Getting better option? Till when you would like to wait? However latest cell-phone your purchase, there’s a new version round the corner. They do come with added facilities and features. But the question is what your need is and why you need that? May be you need that? May be you won’t use most of the features that ‘X’ phone can give. Then, not having the latest is actually no lose to you – if you understand it correctly.

It’s like-wise with life-partners. It’s not about getting the best man or woman. It’s about what you require. So, don’t let these factors affect your decisions.

Well, regarding failure in relationship. Well, it can happen to anyone at anytime. If Rama, Sita – the Ideal couple till date and sharing love and respect like no one could not for most part of their life be happy with each other, then forget about our life’s and its decisions. Understand that life can take any turn at any time and hence no one can predict that. And if someone claims that they do, distrust them completely and disown them for your good for ever! Yes, sometimes we can’t take certain conditions and situations after sometime, but did we know that at the start! No, no one can. But that doesn’t mean that we wouldn’t take a step. And if, I repeat if things don’t shape up as per our desire or our tolerance gives way, we can take the call as and when it happens. Why think of losing memory or a body part in an accident enroute while embarking on a journey? Do we and is it sensible?

Regarding monetary loss – well we can only work on two things – one that a decision is not based on greed. Because greed can only bring about our downfall both in character and in tangible sense.

Next to better our profit we are not bringing about others downfall.

“That’s why I don’t want to get promotion, because then my colleague wouldn’t get it maam”.

Wrong! If you want promotion, give your best to your job, do reiki for the same and be responsible to your post when you get your promotion. Promotions is given to the best eligible person (let’s not talk about favouritism etc here).  So if I repeat if you earned it because of your hardwork, eligibility, sincerity, loyalty then you is worth it. But if you bribed someone (in any form) used influence and such practices to get one, then there you are eating into other’s share and that is ‘wrong’. Inshort, if your happiness is not cause of others downfall, its good.

…contd…

Road not taken

…contd….

So, this fear shouldn’t stop us from making us take decisions. It doesn’t mean you tell me “thanks maam, I wanted to take to drugs since long but was afraid of consequences.” No, I am not talking about such of decisions which are clearly and loudly detrimental to your welfare. I am talking only about such of decisions that you wanted to take but are undeciding because of ‘fear of failure’ like

·         Getting married

·         Taking a break

·         Learning something

·         Talk to someone/ in public

·         Take a vacation

·         Making friends

·         Buying a house etc

We are afraid and confused with ‘what ifs’.

What if it doesn’t work out?

What if I get a better option?

What if I can’t continue and people laugh at me/ rebuke me/ make fun of me?

 

Just remember that there is no guarantee that the other option would work too. This hasn’t worked out true! But that doesn’t mean the other option would.

The road not taken  - By Robert frost

 

…contd….

Reason for not being able to take decisions

…contd….

So, that’s not the issue. The issue is even after knowing what I want, I don’t go for it, why? The reasons are very simple like:

 

·         Fear of failure: this is one of the major reasons as to why we never take a decision – small or big in life. We are afraid of the outcome. What if the decision taken is wrong? How can a decision be wrong if that’s what you want? For eg. If you want to eat paanipuri (street food) you do and then fall sick (food poisoning). In this taking a decision to eat is not wrong. It’s just that, that day at that place it didn’t give the results we were comfortable with.

Only 10.7% people die of accidents. But the majority of people die in the safe haven of their homes (more that 21%). Do we understand that homes are no safer? Or that I can’t go out as I may die in an accident? Both are wrong assumptions and these statistics can’t help us to decide, infact they confuse us if at all any!

So, understand this fear clearly. We can never go wrong with decisions but the outcome of the results sometimes can be painful. But then who can guarantee of any decision that we take? What are the loses that you would incur if you fail?

·         Physical problem – ill health etc

·         Emotional problem like misunderstanding and maximum losing a relationship

·         Monetary

·         Prestige, name and fame

Physical lose most of the time can be reversed. Sometimes they are inevitable and nothing can be done about them. Like being affected with disease like cancer. You can feel bad if you smoke, drink alcohol or have wrong food habits or life-style. But even then it is waste. If you don’t want to be affected, you should have healthy life-style right from the beginning. So, does that guarantee no disease life? Not necessarily so. But atleast you didn’t create it with hard work and your stupidity. Good enough. Right? For reasons beyond our control, well we can have no say.

 

…contd….

Either way you are always wrong!

Either way you are always wrong!

 

 Taking decision is a everyday must!

Taking decisions is the deciding factor for our fate to unfold itself. It’s the only thing that matters at the end of the day. And yet one art no one learns inspite of going to best of schools (including business) is “taking decisions”. We do make a “choice” but mostly because we don’t have “a choice”. Sounds paradoxical? Just close your eyes and go through all your choices. The result I am sure will surprise you. That we were forced either by circumstances or people around us to make the choice. And the funny part is we end up believing that it was our decision. Like as per the marketing technique the salesman asks “do you want to take the red one or blue?”

“Do you want it delivered at home or office?”

You think you took the call, but very subtly he left you with “no choice” but a choice to buy it. Look at it. Try to go through your experiences. Yes, smile should lighten our face with this insight.

Then when can you take a call?

Only and only when you know what you want. Whenever we are driven by temptations of sale offers (for example), sales talk or our weakness then we end up going for something that we don’t want but are eager to get. No doubt we end up with things that we don’t want and then wonder “why I am not happy inspite of possessing so much and working so hard?”

Because we never got (most of the time) that we really wanted or needed. So, let’s know our wants first. Take a paper and write a list of things, events that you want but be specific. Like “I want to be very rich”

“I want to be famous”

“I want to get  a good name”

Will not do. Instead be specific. Say “I want to earn Rs.X every month etc”

“I want to be known as a good musician”

“I want people to remember me/recognize me as a person who is intelligent/hardworking/loyal/punctual etc.

Now regarding attitudes, you need to work on them with rebirth meditation, hands-on and meditation.

And for things, you need to work for them. This part is easy (for independent and responsible people ofcourse! For lazy people waiting for others – no comments as of now).

…contd….