Different shades of gratitude

…contd….

Today, it was decided that we explain why we felt grateful towards ‘one’ person and then write a TYC after that to that person. And we were doing just that.

Pinky’s explanation made us realize that we take people who are our support system for granted. We hadn’t acknowledged their presence and contribution in our life. And yet these people had been there for us – unasked, unflinching, without any expectations and smiling all through with us. Now, would this gratitude add more value to their role in our lives? Would they be more loving towards us? Would they love us more? No. nothing of that sort would happen for sure. Many of us were thanking a person who was no more part of our life – then why this exercise of extending our gratitude to such people. I realized today that this way we didn’t give them anything. We gave ourselves ‘good feeling’ of being grateful. This act made us open to ‘seeing’ how others’ were silently loving, caring and sharing a part of themselves with us. This was to validate that act of theirs. That meant, we had to look beyond our selfishness and envy to look at others role in our life. We were actually opening up as humans. Yes. We were being grateful so that we could open our hearts to joy, peace, humility and purity. This thought moved me. Our Guru had said “Be grateful. Show gratitude for what you receive and yet we didn’t.

We understood the words and felt ‘oh, yes, we got it, don’t repeat’.  But today, I understood that she knew we didn’t get the import of words and hence would implore us again and again to be grateful. And yet ……

This was no simple class, I realized that. As I was collecting my thoughts everyone had finished their tea and Aana had started her explanation.

....contd......

Different shades of gratitude

….contd…..

Pinky shares her blessing

I thank my mother in law for being my pillar of strength. I owe my gratitude foremost to her.  I didn’t know ABC of cooking. It was she who groomed me as a good cook and that too without once taunting me for not knowing cooking. When I wanted to do post graduation, it was again she who stood by me, convinced all at home and even bore the financial responsibility of my education. She would manage house hold chores so silently, seamlessly that I would be left totally free to do my studies. Not once did she make a show of it. Later when it came to job, it was she encouraging me to choose a career close to my heart. I still remember how she would keep even my saree for interview ready in the morning, complete all house-hold chores and even accompany me to various exams and interviews. I was dead frightened of going alone and facing exams and interviews and she accompanying me addressed that issue so beautifully. She would sit outside till I completed my exam/interview and then without grilling me about how I fared would simply take me to the nearest coffee shop to treat me to a strong coffee. This information of nearest good coffee shop she would gather while I was writing exam or facing interview. How a woman can become other woman’s best friend I learnt from my mother-in-law. She would listen to every neighbour’s woes and be their strength whenever they needed her. I asked her once “ma, what’s the purpose of just listening to other’s woes when you can’t solve them”. Very lovingly she replied “agreed I can’t give solutions but humans just want to be heard many times. Most can live with their problems, but what they can’t digest is the fact that they don’t have someone with whom they can share their complaints pain or suffering. I am just filling that void.

She taught me that “just to be” with someone is a big gift you can give to the other”.  Saying this she took a “thank-you card (TYC) and addressed to her m-i-l.

“So true. My neighbor just fills this void in my life” added Priya and addressed a thank-you card in her neighbour’s name.

“I always turn to my mother at such times. I call her at al odd times to dump my mental trash onto her ears. I always felt cathartic after talking to her” added Rahul.

“My wife fills that void” said Aziz writing TYC to his wife.

Almost everyone wrote a couple of TYC to someone or the other. This took more than an hour as everyone explained that person’s role in their life.

....contd.....

Different shades of gratitude

Me, My Guru

Different shades of gratitude

No, today was no class-day. But, it was meet and as always this meet was also special.  We met at ‘Her’ place and shared our experiences, talked/shared our understanding of any pre-destined subject, asked doubts, had them clarified, did some seva and sadhan and left the place late in the evening. Though we were supposed to leave by 6 pm, most of us stayed back till late night either one way or the other. No two days were repetitive, nor were they mundane and boring. They were always some learning or unlearning that happened at ‘her’ place.  I knew all this for sure as I had experienced, seen and realized it all these years. Yet, I always found some excuse to be late to these meets. Since, no one questioned, it became more convenient for me to come late. I knew right from start of meet we gained tremendous knowledge and know-how and yet…… why I cam late, well even I didn’t know after all these years or should I confess that I didn’t bother to find the reason. Yes, I never sat and questioned this nature of mine. Infact, I flaunted it as my ‘USP’ in front of others. Maybe I knew deep down that if I knew where the problem was, I would also know how to fix it. Fixing it meant being on time. Being disciplined! I didn’t want to do that. Yes, I wanted to come late and give excuses and state how I felt guilty of being late!

 

“Inspite of coming late you attend all the sessions whole heartedly, that’s all matters”.

“Don’t feel that you are coming late. Feel good that you fulfilling the other responsibilities of yours. You are keeping those priorities over and above your likes. You are so great!”

I knew none of them to be true, yet savoured every word of them. They gave me a high which I couldn’t describe.

I knew all this and yet, did nothing to change the way I was!

I was still lost in these thoughts when I found myself entering ‘her’ place. I saw others already gathered there and found them listening to Pinky.

....contd.....

The lamp

….contd…..

He cried that lamp was not helpful to him as others had told him. He felt cheated.

The lamp continued shining.

 

He loved the blind and dark alley and he wanted to go there. He liked all the feelings and emotions that place evoked in him. He didn’t like the path which was lit up. He cried, cried and cried!

He didn’t understand how the lamp could go on lighting up others lives when he was in such a mess. He didn’t like the lamp. He hated the lamp. Everyone was just giving undue praise to it. it didn’t deserve it and he knew it. But, the sad part was that no one was ready to take his word for it.

The lamp lit the path!

The lamp kept shining!

The lamp Just Was!

It is said that this happened long back.  But, even today many hear that man complaining about the lamp and how it did not show him the path that lead him into the ditch. Even today lamp just shines, lights the path and just is!

The Lamp

Man and the Lamp

Once, there was a lamp. A lonely, simple lamp that stood in its’ place and lit the path in front of it. It did this day in and night out. It did this for it knew nothing else. It showed the path to all and sundry who came that way. It was bright and brilliant and shone as if it’s life depended on it. When, in actuality it didn’t make any difference to it if it shone or not. It did not get anything by lighting up the path. In fact, it lost. It lost its life as it lit the path. 

Some walked the path as it was well lit and clear in its view.

Others walked for they wanted to walk that path.

Few others choose that path as it was not dark and they didn’t have to fear the unknown.

One day a man walked up the path and cursed the lamp. He chose a dirty ditch to lamp. He liked the ditch that took him to dark alley where he could do all that he wanted to do in dark. The lamp lit the path and cleared the path. Here, he couldn’t do anything dirty and bad. He cursed the lamp. He shouted at lamp, abused the lamp and asked it to be the ditch that took him to the dark alley.

 

How could a lamp become a dirty ditch?

So, it just kept quiet. It just WAS.

He got angrier. He felt the lamp was teasing him, insulting him and not being good for not talking him to the blind alley.

The lamp kept quiet. It just lit the path.

He threw stones at the lamp, called it names.

The lamp continued what it was doing.

....contd......