The Child

The child and his castle

A child – just about 6 years old was playing on the seashore.  He built a sand castle - small and marked it as his own with a pebble near it.  He stood up and turned to wave to his mother to come and have a look at it.

A wave came and washed the castle away.  He looked at the retreating wave for sometime, sat down and started building the castle once again in that sand.

The Life

The tree

It was an old dilapated house.   Eerie and standing alone – shattered and in ruins.  The walls hardly were able to make their presence felt.  Yet – from that wall, Life has found it’s way to express itself.  A peepul tree has grown on that wall.  The wall for certain can’t take that tree – yet it has found it’s way out of that rumble.  

Because, it didn’t intellectualize before sprouting. 

It didn’t worry about the future. 

It didn’t plan long term.

“NOW” it could find a space to sprout and sprout it did – That’s all!

It didn’t see beyond “Now” and so it came into existence.

The Faith

Faith

The wind that was blowing was very strong.  it was blowing away everything I it’s way.  A leaf was shivering in this wind.  A bird sitting on the nearby branch looked beneath and above the leaf – many times and asked “Are you not afraid that you would fall off as you are held by a thin petiole (stem)? 

The leaf smiled and replied, “The petiole may be thin but my faith in it is strong.  And it is so, because the petiole is attached to the tree.”

The Leaves

The Two Leaves

Seeing an old worn out leaf fall down, the newly sprout leaf cried out "Oh! what a pity! you are falling off!"

and the old leaf answered as it was falling off "What a relief, atlast, i am falling off".

“You can do nothing to be who you are except by Being you!”

Me, My Guru

.contd……..

“then what is the purpose of having such  great Gurus in our midst if we always are going to miss learning from then?” Rahul asked dejected…

“No,no. Always remember for millions who have misunderstood Budha we have a Angulimaan who became enlightened Master.  For thousands who sit to judge Jesus we have St.Francis and such great saints. Let all you question Sri Paramahamsa do so, but there was one Vivekanancda who turned the course of History based on his Guru’s teachings.”

“Now, why they are able to learn and become such great men and why not others?’ is your next question, right ?’ she asked with a mischievous smile and we nodded sheepishly..

she continued “because, they didn’t have a major block in them called ‘ego’ when they sat beside their Guru.  A master can fill you only as much as you are empty and as per the size of your vessel.  Remember that always.  Where ‘YOU’ cease to exit, their his Grace descends on you and you ‘learn’ from Him.”

We knew what ego is and why we can’t put it aside when we are with Her. We didn’t ask any questions further and she left us with our mixed emotions and multiple thoughts…

We stood where we had started.  Could we ever trade our ego with knowledge? I doubted that highly.  But hoped against hope that day comes sooner that later!

Me, My Guru

…contd….

Seeing our confused and blank faces she continued “For eg, if she says ‘Keep this Altar Clean – then it’s not a one time job.  Do it everytime you go to your master’s place – infact take time to just go and clean the Altar as many times as possible.  Don’t question it.  Don’t analyse it.  Don’t say ‘it can be cleaned once a month’.. instead do it every day! Do it till you lose yourself completely doing it – only then you actually will understand what Seva is. Why it needs to be done?  What is its benefit?  But, then who has time, interest and commitment – so they’ll never know what seva is. They’ll always ‘interpret’ it their own way or give meaning to it as per their ‘convenience’ but will never get the real or actual meaning..they’ll never know what their Master actually meant. Because they haven’t understood the meaning they’ll never be able to practice it or live it. As they haven’t lived it they’ll never know it.  But they’ll use the word as if they know and mean it…the same applies to every word told by the Master…

Hence” she took a deep breath as she completed the sentence “they’ll never become as great as their Master”

I felt lost as she completed her explanation and so felt others too!

..contd……..

Me, My Guru

…contd….

……”then how to work on the essence.  How to change it?” I blurted out.

Rama looked at me approvingly. She seemed happy that I could come out with a question that could help us with giving us a solution.

“By stopping to look at Master externally and by totally forgetting her to be a physical presence.  Stop seeing at what she says, how and when.  Don’t even look at what she does.  Listen to Her.  Follow her words by living them and put them to practice and then internalize them.

Don’t question anything that a Master says.  Just blindly follow it.  Stop analyzing your Master.  Don’t try to understand her words.  Instead follow them, live them and breathe them – literally!” she replied.

Seeing our confused and blank faces she continues…..

…contd….

Me, My Guru

….contd….

I waited for her to continue as she looked out of the window. When she took a deep breath she continued “People when they see Gurus, Masters –they see the way the master sits, talks, dresses why even pauses and smile is noted and imitated by them.  By behaving in a certain fashion and mouthing “profane words” they think they’ve become their Master’s replica.  But it is not so.  Because, the essence of the Master – the character, knowledge and the Beingness is actually missed out completeness – which is actually the core content of the Master.  They interpret their Master’s words – they don’t understand them per se.  they act and smile like them but don’t know the reason for the same.  So, they more or less become hallow life-less replicas of their Master at the most if they imitate their Masters.  That’s all!

But, since the essence hasn’t changed – nothing’s actually changed”.

Having said that she seemed to be in great pain…….

I waited not understanding the cause of her pain.  Cool breeze calmed my senses as it passed by.  I hadn’t known till then that I was actually tensed. She looked lost in her pain – still and I re-run her words ‘essence’ in my mind and then ……..

...contd....

Me, My Guru

…contd….

She was cleaning the photographs of all the Guru’s and there was a smile on her lips that lit her eyes.  I always wondered “what is the difference between Her doing things and us doing?”  “Today, I SAW that.  For us, it was just a job that needs to be done – a mere formality which could be done away even if done absent – mindedly.

But, she – she looked different as she was dusting those photographs.  It looked as if she wasn’t doing anything mundane – queer.  Because, it was after all a boring regular mundane routine.  What was she thinking or feeling as she was dusting?  Whatever it was she looked as if she was in a daze – as if she was transported to other world.  Is it possible? Is it possible that a mere act can transport one to a different state of existence?

She looked happy doing the boring cleaning job – I mean it looked confusing to me.  Was she happy because she was doing it or was she doing it because she was happy or was she doing it so that she can be happy?

These questions were confusing me when Rama suddenly asked her “we have so many great Gurus, saints and holymen.  Be it Adi Sankaracharya, Jesus, Raman Maharshi et like and yet why none of their disciples became as great as them? Their Institutions flourish but not their men. Why?  Because when such cult/ Institutions was founded or gathered momentum it was due to the person not his teachings or techniques. But the institutions run for its principles not because of the co-ordinator.  Why so?

My guru smiled “However good a imitator is he is not real – that’s why!” she said.

I waited for her to continue……..

….contd….

Me, My Guru

Me, My Guru

I had come today to clean my Guru’s Altar.  I always relished this ritual with her.  She took an hour or two to clean the Pooja room and to decorate it.  And I got to spend full two hrs with her if I participated with her in this ritual. I would always pester her to allow me to do it more often – usually it was once a month and I felt it was too long.  I wanted it to be a weekly affair.  Few other students teased me saying that I was trying to please her, gather more punya (good karma) by doing this seva (service) and such other comments.  But, I never bothered about them.  They were just couple of other regular students who would without fail come to take part in this ritual.  It was like our picnic – our special one with Her.

It’s been years since I’ve been doing this with her and yet I never went home empty handed.  I always got more than I could gather from her.  Her mere presence and her ways of doing daily chores taught us. 

Initially, I would learn by talking to her.  But, over the years it has shifted to observing her do things.

She taught in so many ways.  Would I ever know all these ways?  Would I learn all that she had to teach?

…contd….