On pain in love

 

On pain in love

The major misconception about ‘love’ is that ‘it makes our life better’.

Many of the complaints ‘in love’ are –

·       I am unhappy because of him/her

·       He/she is not living up to my expectations

·       I ‘thought’ I’ll be happy marrying him but my parents were right. He is not right for me!!!

·       Why can’t she be just as I want her to be!

These are scores of such complaints. They all look different. But no! They all say the same “that I EXPECTED to be happy in this relationship but it is not happening. This person has let me down!”

Situation is real. Pain is also real. But the ‘basis’ of pain blame and suffering is not ‘love’. It is ‘expectation’.

When a person enters into a relationship – whichever be it, it is to fulfill his need or want – physical, emotional or financial. When the need or want is not fulfilled he thinks the other person does not ‘love’. Think about it! Sit in meditation! Question your anger and disappointment. And to get the answer you need to put your ‘logical mind’ that gives you instances where you have judged his ‘love’ for you based on what he did or didn’t do for you! Put that logical mind aside! Don’t support your anger or judgement! Just look honestly in to your emotions and their base.

contd.....

# on love, relationships, expectations, being happy in relationships, love and pain, pain and suffering, disappointment, 

also read suggested : https://kantipadam.blogspot.com/search?q=the+real+growth+is+in+letting+go 

Questions addressed : 

• Why is there so much of suffering in love?
• Why do I have such a family? If only my family was different, I would have been more happier!
• Who are the people who are happy after marriage?
• How come so many people are happy in their life?
• If only my desires were met I would be so happy and there would have been no need for me to be angry and mean in life...

Points to be taken :

• As long as my expectations, conditioning of mind and my attitude is what it is, I am bound to suffer with whomsoever I live with.
• Change the attitude and see the relationship change for better.
• Change in life partner will not bring any joy in life. Only change in attitude can bring that joy in life.
• So we better change it with the present person and experience happiness.
• Sit with your parents to know their complaints about you. Then look at your complaints that you have with your kids. You will find it funny that it is more or less the same.
• You came out right (as per your idea!) so would your kid. So relax and just love your child. And before long he shapes up better than your fears and beyond your expectations!

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