The Real Growth is in Letting Go!

LETTING GO!

Three days back, my neighbour’s son left his mortal body to resume his journey elsewhere. My neighbour who is 75 years old faced the situation with such calmness and equanimity that I learnt a couple of lessons from him. For an onlooker he may have looked insensitive and uncaring, but I saw emotional balance and trust in Lord personified through him. Anybody can appear or act calm in good times, but it is in such times that the person’s real character is put to test. Most of us quote scriptures in good times.

We all can talk philosophy when we give advice to others. But when time comes to live that philosophy we usually break down. We get carried in our ego game. Under ideal conditions anybody can do extraordinary things. But in the ordinary moments of life the extra ordinary character of the person is seen, caught and known.

My regular talks with my neighbour revolved around lord’s will and the surrendrance to his will. Not to forget the belief that his will is with the best of intention in spite of it being in contradiction to my tastes and likes and dislikes. And I found that he actually lived those words when the time demanded him of it. “all the world’s a stage and all men and women mere players”- Shakespeare.

Everyone who comes must also go.

मौत पे किसकी रफ्तागिरी है,
आज उनकी तो कल हमारी बरी है.
“No one’s got a stay on death, today it’s his but tomorrow is my turn.”

Heard it so many times have we, but has it sunk in? In this world only two things are for certain- uncertainty and death. Still why can’t we accept it with equanimity and grace. After all,

हर जनम में हम पोषक ही थो बदलते है
थो फिर हमें मरने या हमारी मरने की यह क्या बात है?
“I just change the attire in each of my lives, then what is this talk of me dying or killing me?”

Once, a Zen Master went to Bombay on an official trip. His three children aged three, two and one died suddenly in his absence at Hyderabad. His wife was perplexed. She didn’t know how to pass this news to her husband. She dressed the children in the inner room for the last journey and waited in the hall for her husband to return the next day. He returned the following day. She gave him water to drink. She asked him to sit down and asked him gently “Dear, if the neighbour asks me to keep few things of theirs for safe keeping in your absence, is it fine if I do so?” He smiled. He knew his wife very well. She could never go back in helping anyone. He nodded and said “Of course, you can. I wouldn’t mind.” She gathered little courage and asked the next question. “If the same neighbour comes back and asks me to return his things to him – again in your absence, would you be angry if I do so?” Zen Master smiled and replied, “He is asking for his things. Why would I be angry if you return his items back to him.”

Wife asked the Zen Master to come in. When he saw the bodies of his three children, he immediately understood his wife’s questions and the reason behind them. He quietly asked his wife to do the needful while he went ahead with his duties.

This balance is a possibility only if our Trust and Belief in GOD is REAL and just not verbal.

We say we believe Him but, only as long as things go in our favour. A little jerk in the routine and the Trust just flies out of the window sill. Why do we always Doubt our Beliefs? Yet faithfully Believe our Doubts? Time we shift our belief to Beliefs and Doubt our doubts. When we presume things going out of hand, actually he is at work to set them right the best possible way! Remember The Little Hut story.

No, this doesn’t apply to just accepting death. It is all to remind ourselves the “Importance of Let Go” in our little sensitive Lives. The moment we term something or someone as OURS, the identification makes it difficult and many times impossible to let it/them let go – though it may be for mutual benefit and good.

We don’t let go of our negative emotions – pain, anger, sadness, jealousies, depression and like because we call them “Mine” – My anger, My pain etc।

We don’t let go of our diseases as we accept them as something that need to be lived them for rest of the life time. We have this unwritten vow with most of our diseases “till death do us apart!”. How faithful we are to our diseases!

We don’t let go of our near ones off the formalities and rituals. We bind them with the formalities and rituals. We are afraid we’ll lose them if they don’t follow any or few formalities or rituals. Guilt and accusations and the weapons used to bring them back to the old ways. Because, we are presumably safe in the known backdrop of dead rituals.

We don’t let go of our near and dear friends because we are afraid of loneliness। We feel we would be left alone for rest of the life। Though at every juncture, we have made new and better friends and moved on both in life and grown as a person with every new relationship that’s come our way। Baseless fear stops us from letting go of the dead relationships too! Who afsana jise manzil thak lana na ho mumkin use ek khoobsoorat mod dekar chodna achha ! (That relationship which cannot be lived till the end should be given a decent and a beautiful turn and left alone!)

The same applies for name, fame, success, assets and all that I address as mine.

Letting Go is an ART that’s to be learnt for sure for happy living and it reflects our Spiritual Quotient too! We are but condemned to this choice of learning this lesson of Letting Go without fail – sooner or later. Then why not now?

Letting go means we are sure that
“when things work my way – its good, but when they don’t its doubly good because His Will is in it and His Will is ALWAYS for my larger Good only – FOR SURE and EVER SO MORE!.

This is the pre-requisite lesson for satisfied, peaceful, blissful and complete Life that each one of us longs to experience and lead.

May the Divine guide you in learning this lesson of life,

revathi