Forgive doesn't mean forget - always!

 

Forgive doesn't mean forget - always!

Healing a relationship doesn’t mean accepting them back in our life. No! not always. It depends on the harm the other has caused us and others in our lives. Sometimes, it is an irreparable loss. When we heal, we don’t let them enter our lives. We just forgive them. Not because they deserve it, but because we deserve so much better than them in our life. As long as we are stuck with resentment towards them, we can’t move forward, so we heal ourselves. We heal and forgive them. So that, we can move forward – without them too in many cases. But that doesn't mean we forget what they did or who they are and bring them back to life. Sometimes, these people won't and don't want to change and they can only harm us in every way possible. Then, forgive them but don't bring them back in life. Forget them too but not the lesson they taught you. 

We have forgiven them. They no longer harm us emotionally. They can’t hurt us in our memory with what they did to us. That’s where it all ends. We also can bless them for a better clarity of thought in their life. But then, that ends there, for some relationships. If we have healed completely that relationship and learned all that we need to from it then we move on from them. If we have cleared our debts with them, then they no longer are part of our present life and next life too for sure. They fall off our lives as a ripe fruit falls off the tree it is held to. However much the fruit wants to hold on, it can’t. Even if the tree wishes to hold on to it, it can’t. That’s nature! So is the case with relationships too.

So don’t worry about those relationships that are bitter and painful. If you are holding on to your side of healing sincerely and without any malice in heart, then once the debt is cleared and the lesson learned, they move on. But, if you are still full of hatred for them, you’ll be wedded to them not only in this life but also in next lives to come. In this life even if you move away from them after a bitter fight, if you haven’t healed, then they will enter your life for sure either in this life or the next life – for sure – till you have healed it completely. This syllabus is something that no one can cheat on.

So, the sensible ones heal and get it over with in this very life so that they don’t have to face the same painful relationships again in any of their future lives.

************

   # forgiveness, toxic relationships, intent, on love, being abused and calling it love, forgive but don't forget, mindfulness, know themselves, who are you, compassion, self-love, peace of mind, disturbing emotions, disturbing mind, disciplined mind, calmness within, 

also read suggested: https://kantipadam.blogspot.com/2023/10/the-mystic-says-on-forgiveness.html    

Points to ponder:     

• Forgiveness is a must for our growth. 
• Forgiveness is not a word. It is an action word. It takes years at times to forgive what one has done to us. Some can forgive with just a thought and a little understanding. But all that depends on the individual. 
• To forgive we need to work on our hurt, resentment, anger and related feelings and emotions, every single day of our life. We need to heal them layer by layer. But commitment to heal should be our ultimate resolve.
• To forgive doesn't mean act as if nothing happened. It may not happen in some cases. Then move on, just don't carry the hurt within and hatred for that person/s. That is called forgiveness.
• Never forget what that person has done and don't let that person enter your life again - if that person is toxic and hasn't changed for better.
• Accept the other person only if he genuinely seeks forgiveness and pleads for it. He should repent his actions and words. Then such person can be taken back in your life.
• If the person is not shameful for what he said or did, then DON'T take him back. 
• The one who takes him back should be so strong that he is not hurt by the other's actions which will eventually be hurting him once again - as he hasn't changed for better. 

Read to know further on this topic : https://kantipadam.blogspot.com/2020/01/on-hindi-poems.html