Me, My Guru – On disagreement

Contd.....

Me, My Guru – On disagreement

“But everyone is judging me for disagreeing with you” Vaishnav sulked.

“They are not angry because of your disagreement. Their anger is because of how you disagree” she replied.

“Sorry Guruji, I didn’t get it” he said, a little mellowed.

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“Meaning – you can choose to understand, work or accept my answer. You can also choose to disagree. But there is a small condition – just see there is no anger while you disagree” she replied.

Vaishnav opened his mouth to say something but shut it while processing her statement. She waited for a couple of minutes before continuing. 

“Look into your anger. You’ll see where it is coming from. You’ll be surprised at the ‘source’ of your anger. You can then choose to heal it with techniques I taught you.”

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“But I don’t want to do all this work. I also don’t want to change. You and God are forcing me to change and I hate you and Him for that!” he replied grumpily.

Being right

“We are not forcing or asking you to! You are suffering because of the ‘not willing to change’ attitude of yours. And you are just holding us responsible for that. You are, in the process, dumping your anger on one and all in your life. That’s all! Moreover you asked me to give a solution to your pain and suffering. I just showed you the way. That way happens to be the one that needs you to change from within, that's all!’ she answered with a smile!

Courage

“I don’t agree with this either!” he said, sulking.

Art of disagreement

मेरा काम था कहना जो मैंने कह दिया 

माने के ना माने तू तेरी मर्ज़ी 

मुझे इस बात का फ़र्क क्या होगा कि 

मै नशे में हूँ 

mera kaam tha kahna jo maine kah diya

maane ke na maane tu teri marzi

mujhe is baat ka fark kya hoga ki

Mai nashe mein hoon 

It was my duty to tell you and that I have done

to take it or not is your choice/wish

how can this effect me for

I am intoxicated........

......so singing, she retired to her inner chamber. He remained sulking in his seat, still angry. I, for one, was moved beyond words; tears rolled down my cheeks. I, like him, had dumped my anger, frustration on her for years and yet….she had held on to me with care, love and patience. And here I was, on the other side, after healed my deep seated selfishness and unpardonable adamant nature!

True love

How many more were there who had treated her so! And how much she bore…but she remained her loving, caring self to one and all!

Yes, that was love! She taught us that by living it and yet we found it so difficult to extend that in our lives with our family and friends! 

Contd.....

What is the 'intoxication' that the Guru is talking about?

How that intoxication makes her behave so?

Is it available to all?

# love, relationships, pain and suffering in a relationship, attitude, differences of opinion, agree to disagree, opinions, beliefs

previous posts on this topic : https://kantipadam.blogspot.com/search?q=beliefs 

Questions addressed : 

• How to agree to disagree?
• Is every opinion, belief accepted in every relationship to be same? 
• What is it to be in a relationship inspite of having differences of opinion?
• What is trust?
• What is an expectation?

Points to be understood : 

• Concern doesn't necessarily mean to bring the other person to see your beliefs and have your perception.
• Even with different values we can still share respect for each other, love for each other and be concerned for each other.
• Being for someone doesn't mean he has to follow all that we tell me to.
• Opinions change - even ours over the years had! Then why hold on to their differences more than the person in our life. 
• When a person seeks our advice we give. But to take it or not is his choice! How can we take that away from him just because he has come to us for advice or help?
• Is there a condition to our love/affection/advice/help that the taker or receiver should follow it to the T?
• Do we have to suffer the stupidity of our loved ones in our relationships? Or are we choosing to suffer in our relationships? Think about the difference.......
• Does our  definition of love say that worry is the essential quality in that relationship? Is it true? or is it a choice? 
• Does not Guru's character show us otherwise? Then why can't we understand from that example and apply in our life?

Homework :

Go through couple of issues in your life where you sought advice and where you gave advice.

Check your reaction when the other person did not live up to your expectation. 

Try to look into the reason and heal it if need be.......