Friday, December 1, 2017

Query time again!



Can you counsel for this problem ASAP?

"....Yesterday my mood completely changed because my expectations were not met. Which led to v spoiling our anniversary evening which was yesterday. 
I went crazyily mad on a verge of being violent but had controlled myself. 
Where as other party my husband was silent and non responding. A night which was hot to be  special turned to be horrifying.
Next morning he looked normal. But I was not interested in any kind of talk.
He doesn't do anything (reiki, or any om mala or anything).
Where as I do reiki , do daily puja etc stil how come my mind is restless , still it is not quiet. I read the blog I know the evening is spoiled . In mind I talk to myself saying it will just spoil everything. I should not expect. Stil I tend not to listen n stil suffer always n now was can feel the pain. Wat is this that u can't get over. Even when I am doing reiki where and why I am failing.
In such case I don't feel like doing relationship healing also. The mind says why should I do when the other person doesn't care about my feelings, can't make things special or good even one single time.  It looks the the relation as such doesn't matter. Then why should I bother in that case.

What is this happening. How do I handle. It's a feel that I don't want to be with him.
I am sure even if I go he will still have same life. 
How do I understand this. What should I understand from it.
Bottom line I jus know a special day was lost in the whole process. I am regretting here. I am sure nthg bothers him. 
What and where is it going wrong....."

2 comments:

Kshitija said...

This was my state once I used to do the same and Mam always used to tell me to do emotional healing which I was reluctant to do
In this situation instead of letting it go and leave the matter there Inspite of seeing my parents who are understanding towards each other also I never payed head to them
Many I times I used to go to mam asking the same question and she always gave me the answer very patiently
Now when I do eh and heal I feel is it the same me
Trust me surrendering to her has changed my life in many ways my life after the surrender is more or most better than before surrendering

Mona said...

Although the actual question and problem is not very clear, I will try to share as per what I can analyze from the tone and overall msg
1) You expected your husband to make some special arrangements for your anniversary. And he probably dint do much or what he did was not good enough for you
2) You also mentioned that your husband doesn't care enough about your happiness
3) You are unhappy that you are the only one suffering and (probably) crying, but your husband looks normal.

The only solution to your problem is love. Start doing reiki to fill your heart with love and happiness, and you'll see the problems disappear.

Firstly, have you made any rule book as to how he is supposed to behave on your anniversary? Would a cake be enough? Or a wish? Or some jewelry? You have set some arbitary expectations in your own head. You are giving him marks based on that. You fail him in the test and curse your life (all this in your own head). What do you expect him to understand?

Secondly, love is about giving, not about taking. If you want to give and take in equal measure, it's not love at all. I know a very beautiful woman who cooks very well. Her husband is very inexpressive and never praises or criticizes the food. There is a twinkle in her eye when she sees him eat well, she smiles and gets back to life. I asked her once if it bothers her that he doesn't praise her. She said that "I don't do anything for anyone's praise. I do what I like doing and I do it out of love. So basically, I do it for my own happiness, how is he or anyone else involved in this"

Thirdly you feel that you are Superior to others as you do reiki. And you are also upset that he is not bothered, sad or upset. You are upset that he is normal! Please try to contemplate on this. Would you have been happier if he was miserable, upset and confused? Isn't it good that he moves on after such big fights?

You are probably praying so much because you need that peace of mind a lot more than he does. It doesn't make you Superior to him.

If you are with someone, accept and love them the way they are. If you try and don't like it, better let go of that person. But there's no point complicating things so much on petty issues.