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Neetu singh – an award winner actress of yesteryears retired in the prime of her career in her early twenties and Bomman Irani started his career in his 50’s when most people usually hang their boots.

Rajeev Gandhi became PM when he was just 40 years  the youngest PM  of India and most probably in the world but just 47years old when died whereas Modi became PM when he was 66 years old and is still going strong. 

I know a girl wedded by 20 and widowed by 22 and another person married when he was in his 40’s and in his late 60’s still happily married. So, you see there is nothing as ‘right time’ for any of these events to happen in any body’s life. Each is experiencing these events as per ‘their time zone’. That’s all! Never before, never after!

Jo jo jab jab hota hai,

So so tab tab hona hai....

Whatever happens and whenever it happens, it happens for good!

There is a reason and season for everything to happen in life!

So, just because few ‘events’ don’t happen ‘now’ when you want them doesn’t give you a reason to be sad and dejected.

If people are assessing your worthiness based on these events, then, let it be their problem – not yours. Don’t let them decide your state of existence, emotions and happiness! Never! The advice you gave me, now it’s time to apply it to our own sweet self! Who is most important and dearer to you than yourself? If you can’t value yourself beyond events of your life and your achievements, then it doesn’t matter what others value you as!!! You know this – Just apply it! NOW!

Agreed you are looking forwards to experiencing these stations of life – but that doesn’t mean you become angry, desperate and depressed as you are not YET there!

They will happen. Learn to celebrate this wait! Learn to enjoy this phase of your life because if you learn it now you can enjoy any phase of life.

You said that I should feel worthy and I understand it as ‘Be happy’ inspite of ‘not doing anything worthwhile’. Then doesn’t the same apply to your life too? Can’t you be ‘NOT ANGRY’ or listless, lost, sad even when few things are not happening as per your desire. I said they are happening as per ‘HIS DESIGN’ – wait and you say ‘then He is sadist, egoist etc’ for not giving to you inspite of your worthiness. May be He is, but even that shouldn’t stop YOU from celebrating life. That is my way of seeing things.You decide how you want your attitude to be.....

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So, you say we shouldn’t have these desires? We should leave everything and go in search of God?

No inspite of the fact that that is the Ultimate and only place worth going. Even if you go to Himalayas now leaving everything behind, you still carry that little heart of yours that has desires – so you can’t find – no one can find God with such an agitated mind. Then?

Have desires – because that is the basis of creation and world order. Yes, ‘want’ to be married, raising kids, having assets etc are a pre-requisite for world order – yes – ‘Gruhastashram’ – the stage of a house-holder is the key to maintaining world order i.e., all other section of society – Brahmacharya, vanaprastha and sanyasin (bacherlerhood, old age and monks and ascetics) they all depend on the house-holder for taking care of them. As per world statistics the population of all European countries is growing at less than 1.8 % and it has been found that no civilization can reverse if that number falls below 3.  So, in another 40-50 years all European Civilizations are to be more or less extinct. It means for every two European if there is one child as the ratio is 1.8 and less, then in 20years population has already fallen down to 50% and it means more children and old people and less youngsters to be productive work-force and less still will be their offspring. So, that way their numbers keep dwindling and will be extinct sooner than later.

So, you see this is an important role a person needs to play to keep the world in order – for the traditions, civilization and race to continue. Wanting to own a house or to earn in million is also NOT WRONG  -  it is infact right because that means more productive society and that is progress everywhere. Wrong it is when all this I want to be put on platter by my parents or in-laws and served to me! That is ADHARMA. I wanting and desiring to be world’s richest man is ‘DHARMA’ and ‘SWADHARMA’ if I am willing to work for the fulfillment of my dreams too! go for it! You have it in you and yes you can do it too!

But, just because your desire of ‘getting married, having kids, having a purpose in life, job etc’ doesn’t happen now doesn’t mean you go into depression and feel helpless and desperate and its’ allied feelings. No! A big no!

Something is not happening now doesn’t mean it’ll not happen in future!

The other day I received a call from ‘Singapore’ wishing me. I laughed and said “but the day hasn’t arrived yet” and the caller said “as ever you are behind me in this too!” it was a timely joke but it stuck with me till I received a call from US next day. To that caller I said “You are late in wishing by one day!” and the caller said “but here it is still that day! But then you always have been ahead of me always!” That did it to me. At any give point of time, I am behind someone (always!) in this world (infact thousands of them) and ahead of equal number of them. Yet, I am where I am. I am not backwards or forwards as I presumed to be when I related myself with either of them. Understand that everyone is right as per “their time zone”. Neither late nor early!!!

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There are so many great souls well in 40’s with kids in Engg. Colleges complaining to whole world that their parents and in-laws don’t give them enough to run the family and enjoy their life! They curse their people for falling short of giving these people. Mind you, in such cases I know its’ the parent and in-laws who are running these peoples’ families since day one. Even Engg. College fees and administration costs running in lakhs (as their darling kids had to be gotten paid seats) was foot by their old people. Yet, these people curse them all through the day! Not only that they are crying over their fate too! They are nothing but human parasites or leeches. I don’t say that – our Dharma Shashtra says that in couple of contexts. That people who are tamasic in nature and greedy, lazy and yet demand others to work for the fulfillment of their desires and needs are bane on the society and family. They are asuric in nature. The sooner they fight these qualities of theirs, better for them! But the point is they don’t even accept that they are wrong. Infact, they presume that they are being wronged. But, enough of these people! We need to talk about YOU! Not them!

Very good metaphor used by you – ‘coal will not get its due respect and place in gold market’. (Though I would’ve preferred to be said as gold that doesn’t get assessed right in coal market – jokes apart!). the point is you are 100% bang on in your understanding when it comes to others situations (here it is me!). Your next growth stage and very difficult one would be to apply the same to self! yes, please apply the same principle to your “happiness and self-worth” too!

Hazooron khwaishein aise ke har khwaish pe dum nikale,

Bahut nikale armaan is dil ke,

Phir bhi lagtha hai ke bahut kam nikale.....

I’ve thousands of desires each worth dying for...

Many desires of this heart has been fulfilled and yet

It seems less.....

Ghalib has already put it across so beautifully....we don’t have one or two desires – we have multitudes of them surfacing every day of our life (Just for a day observe your thoughts and note down the number of wishes we get and as to how many get fulfilled! Don’t judge, don’t condemn, just count – if not for a day – just one hour of the day...) And almost 80% of them get fulfilled. Just a couple of them remain hanging in the air – that too for a short span of time (as per Reiki/Universe/God) but longest waiting period by us!

‘I want to be married, but...’

‘I want a kid but....’

‘I don’t know what I want....’

‘I am having debts....’ etc and so am unhappy, sad, depressed, suicidal, lonely or desperate and can’t do sadhan....now that is ‘wrong place to be’.

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http://kantipadam.blogspot.in/search?q=greed 

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Now coming to question asked by me “What am I worth etc?”

Firstly, let me thank you all for all the answers that you gave me. One thing that was common in your answer was “Value can’t be assessed based on money that I earn”. So, I understand it as “I am a worthy person inspite of ‘materialistic or productive outputs’ in tangible assets not being produced or created by me”. I hope I have got it right! Did I?

And you also said “Even when I don’t contribute through blogging 

(too), even then I am worthy of my existence. I am not a burden on this Mother Earth. My just being is enough”. Good!

As also observed by you, I have intrinsic value which need not be appreciated by all and sundry. Only people who value what I can give will value my worth. Others can’t understand all this as their yardstick of measurement is very limited. Did I get it right?

“Sometimes, we are placed in a position where our worth becomes questionable under ‘some peoples’ norms of assessment’. But that doesn’t make us ‘want’ to prove to these people who can’t or won’t understand. I need not stop celebrating being me! I can still be happy about where I am!” – I’ve compiled your answer thus. Hope I am right!!!

If I am right, then why are YOU sad, depressed, listless, unhappy, angry or feeling low and worthless?

Your explanation clearly gives out your understanding. So, don’t start with “yes maam, but...”.

What applies to me does it not apply to YOU too?

Are rules for SELF WORTH different for both of us?

This is exactly what I’ve been trying to explain – since God knows when and you end up saying “true Guruji, but.....you don’t understand”. Not important that I do. Important is that YOU DO! And YOU Do that’s good news. Your answer proved it! And God am I glad to hear that from you all? It’s just that you are not applying that understanding to your own situation and experience.

Before explaining further, I would like to congratulate you on your

‘principles’ too! – As one of you observed, everything and everyone is valued against money ONLY!  But only by people who themselves are ‘greedy’. When you didn’t value thus, it doesn’t apply to all...right? and yes regarding people who value everyone against money, even GOD can’t save a person whose ‘principles’ (no pun intended) tell him to complain that ‘his in-laws didn’t gift a BMW’. Yes, you are right in giving that example to state ‘peoples’ values’. These people don’t have any. Their ONLY value is to tag on to someone or others for the fulfillment of their desires. That shows that the person is at the 'lowest step of spiritual ladder". You all are so young and just

kids and yet are so well balanced to speak out against being ‘dependent on parents’ for the fulfillment of ones’ desires! Kudos to you all! Not only are you being independent but are also being responsible towards your family. And you kids are also doing your bit of charity in your life inspite of so many responsibilities. I really am proud of all of you who are doing this. But, keep doing it. Never stop. How much is not important, but think of ways of giving and sharing with others less privileged than you...God bless you ....

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