On feedbacks etc....

On feedbacks etc........

Let’s agree to disagree!

How much do opinions matter?

Feedback doesn’t mean you ‘cut paste’ some quotation in the comments section....that would be good on  your whatsapp group activity list, not here....say something substantial not to sound ‘great or wise’.....and before writing something read it and understand it...don’t write for others....if your personality and life activities are diametrically opposite to your words, then think, whom are you impressing? Do all that in your ‘FB/whatsapp/ and all other sites where you can fish for ‘likes’ ....here people who converge are such of souls who want to transform themselves and working on healing themselves and working on their limitations and short-comings....don't make it a place where forwarded messages are sent or received.....

one good feedback was ....

“....i wanted to tell that I disagree with what you say but was afraid.......”

How many times each one of us must have thought this thought? Scores of times.....

And with whom – mostly our near and dear ones...and the few ‘unfortunate ones’ even with outsiders like colleagues, servants and even with strangers. Here, I am taking into account such of people who ‘intentionally hide facts’ from others for reasons better known to them with the sole intention of cheating, fooling the others or to get away with their little crimes – of passions!

So, normal people want to be honest especially with near and dear ones. But end up not being honest as they are afraid of hurting people who matter to them. At the same time they don’t want to mess up their relationship with these people. At such times, we hold our relationship more important and higher to our opinions and so let it be.

The reason behind this act is no doubt good. There can’t be any other way of looking at it. But, inspite of having and good reason we mess up our relationship in the long run. Surprised? Let me explain. When we are dishonest, fear creeps in or in other words, where there is fear, only at places dishonesty exists. Well, the fear is that of hurting the other – yet there is fear. That is not all good sign for any long term relationship. 

Yes, in any good relationship sweet lie is a must. Some times truth can really hurt and an innocent lie can avoid it. For example during pregnancy and after delivery when a woman asks “how do I look?”, you need not be too ‘honest’ there. Don’t blabber statements like “God, you look fat”, you’ve lost it” etc. She’s gone through a lot physically, emotionally – so don’t hurt her psychologically too! its OK to say some good words. You need not lie but can still say something which is not a lie yet not hurting like “You look beautiful always to me”. It’s not a lie and yet....truth need not always be hurtful. That is where ‘clarity of thought’ expresses itself. A fool following the rule “I’ll tell only Truth” will hurt the other in the name of Truth, whereas the wise will not lie, yet will package truth from different angle. Coming to our topic of being honest – why do we think we hurt others when we disagree on some issue? All through I’ve been talking about ‘clarity of thought’ and ‘ego’. Right from first class, I’ve always stressed the importance of “Who am I?” and “Knowing self”. I’ve explained umpteen times that me identifying with what is not me is called ego. Read link “ego”  http://kantipadam.blogspot.in/search?q=ego  for further classification. One of the things we wrongly identify as ‘ourselves’ is ‘our opinions’.

....contd.......