Indian Mythology ....

Contd....

“When did all this talk happen?” I asked feeling frustrated, let down and alone and irritated all at once!

“It was more than 3 hours after you left that she opened her eyes. It was then that this session took place. After you left, she closed her eyes and went into meditation. We didn’t disturb her. It was a rare sight and experience. None talked or exchanged words. Yet, everyone followed the same routine. We all went into meditation for well over 2hrs – i.e., Rahul, Aziz and others in our group and couple of others! Rest of them simply lied down and went sleep. The energy of the place was so vibrating that it was understandable that most of us couldn’t take it and hence went into sleep. We meditated for well over more than 2hrs and yet when we opened our eyes it felt as if it was just few seconds. Time is so relative to our experience. Really! That was best meditation experience that we had. We were used to meditate for 1/2an hour at the most, but for 3hrs and not being aware of it – well that was something  and the silence, wow, it was so peaceful, blissful and out of this world! Wish you were there!”

I had already cursed myself 10 times by now and Vishnu’s explanation didn’t better that feeling one bit. On the contrary, I was really pissed at her for not having stopped me. Couldn’t she have said all this when I was there?

Though I got her words in letter, I didn’t feel it was same as listening to her in first person. But the damage and loss was irrevocable! All this because of my wallowing in “self-pity, anger and expectations”. It was my own doing. And I couldn’t hold anyone responsible for that! All others had sat. Only I had walked out. Why couldn’t she have stopped me? Was she angry with me? Was this her way of punishing me? Her demure did not give away any of such symptoms though!

But when Rahul and Aziz explained “What she said were just words. Don’t count on that as missing. But take the import of her words seriously. She has stressed again and again on self-healing and going within. She didn’t discuss much of philosophy. She never really does especially on this topic. She says “What’s the fun of logically breaking or making ‘philosopy right?’ Instead work on the techniques and test the ‘declarations of these philosophies. In short, go for experience – because ultimately only that counts! So, work on gaining access to your inner world. Work on understanding less of theory and more on gaining qualities that are pre-requisite to step into the “Actual world of meditation”. So, go within!

These words of theirs pacified my frustrated mind and I actually was feeling and thinking pro-active in this line after a long gap of many years. Even this much gave me peace and a high that was intoxicating to me.

What she says is right “Yeh sabse bada nashaa hai” This is the best of intoxications of this world.....

That of befriending self and getting to know self and yet be comfortable with self!

I’ve lost so much already, but I am not to cry on spilled milk henceforth!

 

I am to concentrate only on gaining eligible enough to ‘sit in meditation’. Yes, it would be a baby step for now. But I was OK with ‘one step at a time’ strategy. All I need to do more was to just maintain this .....and I sat in meditation then and there till I was reminded by someone on ‘going home’. For me it had already started – ‘ going home’, it was just that others didn’t notice it or see it that way.....I was happy ......for now.................

Concluded...............

(As always i request you to go through the related posts all at once once again to understand it better.....) 

(also related posts http://kantipadam.blogspot.in/search?q=miracle)