on absence, love and relationships - Me, My Guru

Me, My Guru

Contd....

I turned the page. “sometimes you need to walk away......”

I smiled. I knew what it meant now. I had to collect myself and my thoughts to know where and why I was walking this path since long. And this trip just did that to me. Being with myself gave me that much needed ‘me time’. I befriended myself in this trip. This was not the trip planned by me. It was forced on me. When I had told her about this trip she had just smiled and said “Enjoy!”. Yes, just ‘enjoy’ nothing else. I thought it funny then – even a bit odd. But today I can say ‘I did Enjoy this trip!’. And this time, I knew what she meant and I thanked her for being herself. So as they say “jo hotha hai achche ke liye hotah hai” worked very well for me – this time atleast.

I went through the entire stay mentally once again. I relived each and every moment. I savored my stay here. It may not have lived my expectations of being “as beautiful as heaven” but this Kashmir did present ‘a beautiful me’ as a gift to me. Time to go! I packed my bags and my emotions too! I sorted my things and along with them my thoughts. I thanked the staff of the Guest house where I stayed and who made my stay comfortable. I sat in the lawn of the Guest House one last time to have one hot cup of tea. I looked at the snow covered peaks at the distance. I heard the songs of birds. I saw couple of pigeons fight on the roof top. This place had so much to offer and I had actually missed noticing all this during my stay. Did I live my life too this way? Was I too lost in gauging others and carrying the baggage of hurts, pain and expectations to not notice the beauty that life was offering me? I got my tea. I sipped it. I relished it. It never tasted so good. I complimented him for the same. He left with a smile.

I heard the honk of my car. I left for the Airport.

There after getting checked-in, I was waiting. I took the last couple of sheets left. They read “The song is ended, but the melody lingers on”. I smiled. This trip was over but its scent would linger with me till my last breath. Kabhi koi cheez poori tharah khatam nahi hoti....khatam hone ke bawajood bhi uska khushboo rah  jatha hai.....i felt something cold on my cheek and I realized it was my tear. I smiled. Yes, song is over, but melody lingers on. She is not there but her presence lingers on. People no longer with us also stay with us. Would I remain as a sweet melody in someones memory or as a pain in their neck?

I shuddered to think of the answer. I preferred to linger on as a sweet scent of remembrance.....

Announcement was being made for my flight. I took out the last sheet. “Only God and I knew what I meant when I wrote it, now only God knows!”.

I pushed the paper into the bag. I looked up. The roof stared at me. I wished to see the sky. I wished to imagine seeing God looking at me! I experienced and lot here. I wanted to thank Him. But why it happened, Only He Knows! I let him have his secret! I took my luggage and walked towards my gate. The visit to this ‘Heaven’ did change me for sure! Travel is good for soul they say! I see it now!

Au revoir Kashmir!

And God Bless this wonderful land of beauty!

Concluded...........