on love - Bhagavatam

...contd....

So you see desire expresses itself in various shades – all of which are termed as ‘love’ by the subject. Many times, the subject (the one who declares he is in love) knows it’s’ lust and yet will use word love – not out of ignorance but out of smartness. Lust by itself explains its intentions openly. But no one wants to ‘accept’ that feeling. They want to camouflage their intentions behind the best and accepted pure cover of ‘love’. That way, their desire becomes (only in the eyes of others) valid, acceptable and good. Lust on the other hand becomes its evil forsaken twin. We use word ‘love’ to sell our dark intentions.

“How can you say all our feelings are ‘lust’? On what basis are you converting our love into lust?” asked Vijaya hurt.

Both Chanda and Vijaya had disagreed with Guruji and both questioned her explanation. Yet there was world of difference between both. One came from anger and the other from a belief that Guruji doesn’t have an intention to hurt us or insult us. Because, of that belief, Vijaya felt guilty of her feelings and was hurt with her guilt and hence this hurt did not spit venom of anger on to Guruji. What you said depended solely on from ‘where’ you said was so true here!

“No. I am not saying that your every feeling is based on lust. But.......ok let me put it differently. Let me explain ‘love’ again. Then you decide for yourself what you feel. Good enough?”

We all agreed on that. This was instead of being either defensive or offensive; we actually would get a clear picture of the whole issue. Again, understanding or accepting it depended on our sole discretion.

“I’ll broadly classify love as in three stages. The first stage ‘love’ is to satisfy self. I love mangoes. Not because of mangoes but for the joy it gives ‘me’. ‘Me’ is the key word here. I love anything and everything that ‘pleases’ me or ‘gives me joy’. If the same mango becomes stale, I spit it out. So I don’t ‘love’ mango (put the stress of mango), but ‘I’ (put the stress of ‘I’ here) love mangoes because I am enjoying while eating it. Forget it if you are not able to get it. Understand it this way. At first level or lowest level you ‘love’ things and people that fulfill your need and cater to please your senses. At this level, the stress is always on I, me, myself ONLY. (If any of you can give an example to illustrate this, you are welcome).

Much, much below this level of love is lust. “Love is nothing but sex”. If this is the definition of love and basis of relationship between man and woman, what else could you expect that man say apart from “Everyday since marriage, when I come home, I am crying from within. I’ve been suffering every day of my life”. This man will not only be unhappy and suffering but will be the cause of suffering to the one who is staying with him. I say ‘stay’ because there is nothing as ‘living’ with this sick mind.

...contd.....