on love - Bhagavatam

...contd.....

Still this thing was beyond me. Moreover, I was not much of kid person, so all the more Latin and Greek to me. Few of others too felt this way. But we didn’t openly state this to our Guruji. Not that we were afraid of her or that she wouldn’t explain differently but we somehow felt we were not yet ready to understand it. That didn’t mean we wouldn’t ‘listen’ to what she was telling. We would soak in each syllable that she uttered – not as much for understanding it but to put it on hold. We wanted to

hang on to it for few days to come and keep looking at our feelings all through our day. Maybe, the understanding would happen eventually. Earlier too when we didn’t get all that she said we would just grasp all the words and keep playing them in the mind again and again in the midst of our

maddening, chaotic and boring chores. And doing so we always had a break-through in few weeks time and then we would return to her with that understanding only to be pushed little further by her words. These exercises had bettered our perspective, outlook in so many areas and issues. I am sure it would be the same in our and everyone’s favourite topic – love!

“The next step in love would be mutual i.e., I would benefit the other and he me in this love affair – a la symbiotic relationship. Suppose I love singing, I sing would be first stage. But in next I love singing and hence sing but also want singing to give me name, fame and success. Here love is mutual. If I love someone (it can be a sibling, parent, child, friend or a spouse – don’t always read ‘love’ as relationship between man and woman only), I expect them to love me back. I also expect them to behave as per my expectation. If not, I feel let down and blame the other for breaking my heart. It’s more of barter system here. The relationship is that of ‘I’ scratch, you scratch’. I fought for my country’s freedom, upliftment etc and hence want recognition and some thing in return comes under this category. If I believe in only taking in the name of love, that is no love, it is lust dipped completely in selfishness. In love I’ll look after and cater to your

needs and in exchange you cater to my needs. But many times, people don’t play fair here. They say ‘I love her’ but she doesn’t do A-Z things for me, so I get irritated. If such is the case, there is no love. In the name of love, people demand their rights – be it as a spouse, friend or parent. They don’t look into their side of responsibility to cater and give in that relationship. Beware of such loves! Don’t let people suck you off your energy in the name of love. Such people are ‘human parasites’ – logging on to others and eating them off in the name of love. 

Love also is caring, sharing, being concerned, doing things for the other. If this is missing either from one or both involved it’s no love! In the name of love, you can’t expect the other to work like a servant under you. If there is one who is demanding, ever finding fault with the other (for lack of fulfilling his duties as per his role), ever expecting and conditioning the

other by way of behaviour, habits and what not, know it is an ‘abusive relationship’. There is no love lost between them. Just put your foot down and walk out of such relationships. That doesn’t mean your responsibilities don’t count. No. No one can run away from responsibilities in any relationship. Rights and responsibilities go hand-in-hand. Only when it is give and take between both, does it quality as love.

...contd.....