......contd.....
Similarly,
let go of ‘obsession’ in a relationship.
Many
times, we mistake obsession to be love. Love lets you breathe. Anything that
stifles is ‘obsession’. Love is all about losing self and living for the other.
Wanting to control has got to do with ‘mental disorder’ and is nowhere near love.
A frail,
sick and timid mother will throw herself in front of a tiger to protect her
child. That’s love, where one ‘loves’ the other more than the ‘self’. When I
expect my ‘son’ to listen to me even after marriage, then that love needs to be
treated! You find that type of ‘control-freaks’ in every relationship –
master-student, friends, spouses, siblings infact everywhere.
Relationship
should have breathing space. You can’t stifle it and complain that it is dying.
‘I want you to be HAPPY but ONLY as long as that happiness comes from me’ –
that is an inferiority ridden personality talking.
‘I want
you to happy, even if that comes from any other source’ is an adult in the
relationship.
‘Exactly
Guruji. Please explain this to my wife. I am happier with my secretary than
with my wife and she is not understanding’.
Excuse me!
I didn’t mean that! Happiness is different from lust fulfilment. Don’t mix up
and state that I recommended that. A big no!
I meant in
following cases –
My
best friend has found good friend or love in her neighbour/colleague and I
can’t and shouldn’t control her. Her happiness only should matter to me. Yes, I
may be left alone in the process but that doesn’t mean I can’t let her go ahead
with other relationships.
Every
relationship undergoes change. We embrace new relationships all through our
lives – mostly. It would affect older ones in some way. That’s part of growing
up and moving on.
My
child/sibling/friend marries and is happier and close to his spouse. I should
let go there. I should be ‘mature’ enough to be happy for them. I am doing no
sacrificing there. Remember that!
Your
Guru takes new students. Time spent with you will reduce. Don’t be jealous.
Don’t wish that your Guru’s classes should end. Grow up! Learn to share his
love with fellow learners.
Your
spouse is happy with new hobby or career. Then don’t be jealous and end it for
them.
Hope
I am clear here!
....contd....
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