On judging

……contd………

Everyone fell silent. It was a long journey – we understood that.

‘So, let’s do something to develop these ‘right’ qualities in us. Let’s sit in meditation’ her voice cut through our thoughts and held us in Sadhan before we went on a mental picnic of why’s and how’s……

We sat in meditation. Ultimately, all that matters is if you have put anything in practice or not. And that didn’t come as swift as the thought. It took baby steps only after conscious work for months. We had to listen to her repeatedly to actually let it hit us. That’s why she requested us to come often to her place or read her words. She knew only repetition can actually put a seed of thought that ‘I need to change’ in us. Once that thought was ingrained, again it took repetitions of word for that thought to be and not to die a natural death. Only when that thought became strong with repeated thoughts cementing it, did it gather enough energy to push us to take an action to put it in practice and that was eased when we did reiki, meditation or pranayamam. These techniques felicitated our intentions to become strong enough to get converted into a desire that had energy enough to make us put an effort in that direction. And when this happened many times, then the vehicle called ‘change of personality’ moved a bit and showed result. And when that happened, it would prove that we are on the right path and with renewed energy and enthusiasm should work more to move further in this direction.

That’s all! Life is a journey – keep on moving. Rest not till you reach the goal – of complete freedom from lower nature! All other achievements are only incentives. Don’t let them get into your head and stop. Keep the good works going. Keep moving. Keep working. Keep growing. That’s all there is to do…….

It was more than an hour before I opened my eyes. This revelation was so strong that it shook me. Meditations can give an insight – I have heard her say it so many times but today experienced it. I looked at her. She smiled at me. I knew she knew that I knew. Was it my understanding or her grace? I would never know that. She was smiling as I was looking at her.  She did her job. Now was time for us to do ours. We started getting up one after the other. It was already 5 pm. But still, we felt we hadn’t spent much time with her. Yes, it was so everytime we met her. Why we haven’t understood yet. But like many facts, it was so! She had gone to feed the birds and I knew she was with them. She’s left us already. But did she ever leave us alone? These questions stayed with me as I walked towards my house………..

concluded.........

On judging others

......contd...........

I am what I am – whatever you call. Or eg. if you call me a saint and if I know myself then I know if it’s true or false. If it’s true, I’ll not feel elated because it is no achievement. It is only what I am. And if it is false, then also I’ll not feel elated as I know I am not saint inspite of you calling me one. So, whether you call me a saint or a sinner, I am what I am. Your ‘calling me’ can’t disturb me either way. Only when I am ‘image consicous’ will it affect me! Clear?

It was both yes and no. we understood and yet didn’t seem to. We were still in daze. It had to sink in.  we need to process it, then understand it, apply it and only when we experience it will we actually have understood it!‘

“Can’t we judge one on morality too?” asked Priya really agitated.

“One man’s good is other’s bad. So is it with morality. Morality changes from place to place, time to time and person to person. What’s immoral in India is considered moral in western world. So, how can you judge someone on the grounds of morality.

Killing – nay even hurting others is universally accepted as immoral. But, a soldier is given medals and appreciated when he kills more number of people in war.

We judge a woman in flesh trade but if you know that she was forced into it – you pity her. If you know she did to save her parents’ life, then you would respect her. But, why never is a man who is her customer judged? He never goes out of external compulsion. He goes only to fulfill his lust. But, it is the women who is always judged. Isn’t this one sided? Hypocritical? Wrong?

Like-wise morality has to properly understood before judged and for that one should have clarity of thought and that comes out of purity of thought, intent, selflessness, detachment and righteousness. So, one should develop these qualities before going on the path of ‘judging’ others”

....contd...........

On being judgmental

……..contd……….

If we want to outgrow experiencing this pain, there is only way – to realize that we are complete and blissful irrespective of what we have or don’t have. Only this realization can give us freedom from our insecurities and fear. There is no other way this can be addressed.

Does listening to this explanation or reading about it give us that clarity of thought? If only things were so simple! No, we need to work on it every minute with awareness. Yes, it’s a conscious effort. How long does it take to apply it effortlessly? – Anywhere between now to eternity. A person who sees through this mind game and feels enough is enough – it’s now!

But, we are ‘thinking creatures’ and we are proud that we are logical and reason it out. Hence, questions like – ‘Fine. I understand and I’ll stop comparing and judging others but what about others? They are still doing it and hurting me. I can stop when they do. Please also explain to them or shouldn’t I cut them to their size since they are wrong?’

All these questions mean, it’ll take eternity for you to drop it. Because these questions is ‘maya’ that’ll cloud your clarity for ever.

Because if you know you are complete then what difference does it make if other calls you incomplete?

I am what I am – whatever you call. Or eg. if you call me a saint and if I know myself then I know if it’s true or false. If it’s true, I’ll not feel elated because it is no achievement. It is only what I am. And if it is false, then also I’ll not feel elated as I know I am not saint inspite of you calling me one. So, whether you call me a saint or a sinner, I am what I am. Your ‘calling me’ can’t disturb me either way. Only when I am ‘image consicous’ will it affect me! Clear? 

...contd.........

On judging

……………contd…………

If this is so, why do we do it? Simple – because we envy others and feel threatened by their beauty, achievements, success, possessions etc. we feel we are ever in the ‘boxing ring’ with every other person in the world – where we are trying to save ‘our face’ and they are ‘trying to damage it’ by possessing whatever they have. Confused? Close your eyes and go through the entire sequence once again slowly. Breathe in slowly and be calm while seeing this entire drama go through your mind. Meditate on this! Take your time’ saying this she got up and left us.

We followed her instructions. It was 30 mts before we opened our eyes. When we opened our eyes, we broke for lunch. We discussed our findings with one another. We all took couple of incidents from our life and went through it. The findings were same. We exchanged our experiences, insight and examples. We laughed at our stupidity. Basically, we were all the same! So many times she had said this but then……….

We sat around her the moment she took her seat.

‘We consider everyone our rival and think we’ve to push someone down to be above them. This feeling of rivalry is based on our insecurity. We feel insecure about ourselves. And our insecurity comes out in the form of envy, hatred, malice and what not. Where does this insecurity stem from? From fear. Fear of rejection, being unrecognized and being unsuccessful, fear of rebuke or insult. This fear is totally imaginary and it drives us crazy enough to attack ‘every person’ by whose presence, achievements we feel ‘threatened’ and whom we think are robbing our ‘place, love, respect, glory, recognition’ from us. But how stupid is that? However big an oak tree be, rose doesn’t get insulted in its presence. It’s recognized for what it is worth no matter how big other trees are around it. But, we don’t understand that. And this ‘ignorance’ is the cause of ‘fear’ in us. So it’s rightly said that ‘ignorance’ and ‘fear’ are the only two original sins that need to be addressed to realize that ‘we are complete, beautiful, pure and divine’. If we realize this there is no space for fear, insecurity, comparison, judging and hatred.

....contd..........

On judging others

…….contd………..

There was silence for some time as we started thinking about those and such related statements. I smiled. How mean were we when we made such statements. We were actually trying to negate a ‘good quality’ of that person by saying something negative about that person in the same sentence. And no one would even know that and yet the impact was made. We were damaging the ‘image’ of that person.

Rahul voiced my thoughts and she continued.

‘she may be successful but doesn’t keep her house clean…..’

‘he’s a good man but doesn’t earn much……..’

‘he may be having roaring business but look at his unruly kids……….’

‘what if they are famous, they are not happy…….’

Now what do these statements mean?

‘Again we are negating a person’s achievement, taste, character etc. but why are we doing it? The moment I judge, I am trying to pull him down from his position – but why? Asked Rahul.

‘Before knowing that what do you understand when we say –

‘thank goodness, I am not like her!’

‘for me my children are more important – not like her and hence I am not working’

‘her husband dances to her tune and so she can go out and work – but my husband hardly listens to me…….’

‘I am trying to pull the other down so that I can come out as a better person. But, why these games?’ clearly Rahul was as disturbed as any of us.

‘Yes, when we judge we are trying to bring ‘someone’s image’ down and ‘uplift our image’. That’s all! That is the purpose of judging others.

.....contd.....