On Avoidable pain and suffering!

 

On Avoidable pain and suffering!

Sometimes, things and situations don’t work out our way.

They make us uncomfortable.

We DON’T LIKE BEING UNCOMFORTABLE! And, that “LIKE” is the cause of our pain and suffering. The situation per se is not the culprit. Though in our ignorance and lack of clarity of perception, we do “ASSUME” that the uncomfortable situation is the culprit of our pain. And so, we end up blaming the situation. We try to fix the situation. We demand an explanation as to why the situation became uncomfortable. We want to find the culprit who created the situation so that we can play the “blame game”. And because, we are trying to find the solution in the wrong place, we end up being going in circles finding no answer or solution to our problems.

Every – well, almost every uncomfortable situation is not PAINFUL!

We make it painful with our belief systems. We make it painful with our expectations of how people should be and how a certain event is supposed to unfold. We make it painful with planning.

Things don’t work out as per our plan, and then we suffer!

“A mother is supposed to be so”

“A Guru is supposed to be so”

“My future is supposed to be so”

“My wish is supposed to be fulfilled”

These suppositions cause pain when they are not fulfilled. Just because they don’t fit our bill, it doesn’t mean the other person or situation which didn’t fall into this category of “fulfillment” is bad! Remember that!

Just because my parent or Guru didn’t behave my way, it doesn’t make them bad people. By all means they may actually be “good ones” and hence they didn’t fall into your definition of “good person”. What a joke would that be?!

Contd....

# suffering and pain, suffering is optional, lessons of life, situations of life, 

Me, My guru – working of Karma noted in a real-life situation!

 

Contd....

Me, My guru – working of Karma noted in a real-life situation!

So you see, one who repented changed for the better. The others, they spoiled their karma all through and they had to reap the consequences of their evil deeds even in their next janmas to come” So saying our Guru left to receive her all.

We got our answers. These were live examples. How can we not accept them? And I understood one thing today – we didn’t seek justice. We sought revenge. And that’s why all these years we kept arguing with her. If it was justice, yes it was meted by karma. But revenge was personal, so we never were satisfied with her explanation. The problem was not in her explanation. It was in our perception, want, attitude. Can we change it or not is a different question? Do we want to outgrow it or not was the question we needed to dig deep into and find answers to! But that was not to happen today!!!

Concluded......

Can be continued with further case studies if and only if you participate with your observations/understandings/ 

If and only if I find any of you sharing your observations, understandings and what you have noticed in your life - in similar cases, will I come up with newer case studies......

                                                              ******   

# me, my guru series, karma, you receive what you give, fate and destiny, destiny, as you sow so you reap, everything happens for a reason, 

read suggested https://kantipadam.blogspot.com/2016/06/on-receiving_26.html

What did you understand from this case study?

What do these case studies tell you about karma?

What is our role in etching our karma?

What happens to us is because of what we have done in the past. How do we safeguard our future karma with present actions?

Proverbs from across the World

 

Proverbs from across the World

Five fingers are brothers but they are not equals – Afghan Proverb

The same fact when viewed by a person who lives by Vedic Philosophy would state “Five fingers are not equals and yet they are brothers and therefore they stay and live together. Their total strength increases beyond measure when they work together. Their differences are the reason they become complementary to each other. Their differences are the reason they find their strength from!”

Why is there such a difference in perception?

Where do you think this perception is coming from?

How does each perception impact the society, community and Nation that lives by it?

***

# proverbs from across the World, World perception, Vasudhaika kutumbakam, Source is One, All are one, sarva jana sukhinobhavantu,

also read further on this topic https://kantipadam.blogspot.com/2017/08/on-religions.html 

to understand this topic clearly also read https://kantipadam.blogspot.com/2017/02/indian-mythology-advaitha.html 

Rashtrapathi bhavan / Nilayam - Hyderabad

 

Contd...

Rashtrapathi bhavan / Nilayam - Hyderabad

“One who is complete from within will find the World in his backyard”!!!

People come to me and say “We read “The Secret” book which is excellent. You also read it!”

The crux of that book is that the hero travels the entire world to find that the treasure he was searching for is right in his backyard! What is the fun of reading a book and enjoying it if we are not able to apply it in our lives?

Apply the “Moral of the story” literally in your lives.

Visit such beautiful and yet less known places in and around Hyderabad and don’t value them less or ‘but this tho maam, just local’ and blah, blah, blah….

Bring your awareness to this perception. Bring your mindfulness to your complaint. Become aware of your thoughts and emotions. Know them. Question them. And then become free from their clutch.

You’ll become free to enjoy life in abundance then!

Concluded...

********            

# Rashtrapathi Bhavan, Hyderabad, places to visit, awareness, simple joys of life, little nothing of life, abundance, miracles, 

also read on similar topic: https://kantipadam.blogspot.com/2021/07/on-disturbances-in-life-and-their-place_01876724696.html 

Reflections – on celebrating being alone!

 

Contd.....

Reflections – on celebrating being alone!

So, the point here is, that we may end up being alone for some reason at some point in time. We can make it our ‘miserable time’ or ‘time to be with self’. We always complain that ‘we adjust’ because of others in our family. Use such times to ‘live life without adjustment’. Live such times with right perspective and these periods can end up being – rejuvenating, claiming and beneficial for our well-being. We can use it to know ourselves and get connected to self. We can enjoy the silence that comes with staying alone! We can fix our timetable wholly as per our wish and comfort. Benefits are many – for those who view it as a ‘me time’. Now, people are spending huge amounts to get detoxed through ‘me-time’ or ‘alone time’ vacays.

We are getting all that free of cost. We too can get that benefit if we choose to!

Loneliness or alone time – it’s all in the perception.

Tanhaee mein rahane mein aur tanha rahane mein faraq hai. Mein tanhaee ke saath rahata hoon.

There is a big difference between being alone and living in solitude. I live with myself. I want to live alone! And hence know that ‘solitude is bliss’.

 Concluded....

******       

# loneliness, alone, solitude, bliss, on relationships, happiness, joy, little joys of life, you are what you read, outer world reflection of inner world, inner joy, calmness, disturbed mind, disturbing emotions, confusion, chaos, inner chaos, clarity of thought, 

also read suggested: https://kantipadam.blogspot.com/2016/10/me-my-guru-bhagavatam_21.html 

Question time:

What did you find here today?

What is your take on this post?

Did you find the solution to your problem?

Did you find the answer to your question?

Is it applicable to your life? If yes, how?

Have you ever applied it in your life? What happened? Did it benefit you or hurt you?

The Mystic says! On repeated attempts!

 

The Mystic says! On repeated attempts!

The Mystic says “You say I have missed the mark and I see that I have aimed once more!”

The only difference between the Mystic and the sinner is that the Mystic understands the importance of making ‘attempts’. He knows he has to knock on the door several times for it to be opened. He is patient! He knows and accepts that the only thing in his power is ‘to give his best shot’. He doesn’t demand results. He doesn’t worry about the results. So, he is peaceful in spite of working himself out with no ‘good’ results in his way!

And the one who is a fool suffers his journey. He is termed the sinner! For him, it is all about results. He thinks he is entitled to results!!! He sulks after every attempt. He is complaining and in pain all through his work……..

Look closely between the two kinds of men. The difference is only the perception! And yet, the effect of this perception is glaring and huge. One is blissful and enjoying his work and journey. The other is sulking, crying and in pain.

 

****     

# on perseverance, repeated attempts, results, hard work

suggested read : https://kantipadam.blogspot.com/2022/11/the-mystic-says-on-anger.html      

and

https://kantipadam.blogspot.com/2022/07/the-mystic-says.html 

and

https://kantipadam.blogspot.com/search?q=mystic 

Read each of the above link given.....They are small posts......

Questions addressed and points to remember:

• Do your work and leave the results to Him. We have right to work ONLY and we don't have right to expect results our way! We are not entitled to get results as per our desire! One who understands this, accepts it, and applies it in life is sane, blissful, peaceful and comfortable!
• Don't expect others to forgive your rude behaviour if you can't take others being frank about you!
• I have been doing Reiki/sadhan/hardwork since long and yet I don't see results that I desire. Why?
• The world and God doesn't go around you!
• This journey was never about enjoying the comforts of this world. It was always about knowing yourself and experience Being Self ONLY!
• All the anger, ego, suffering and pain in this world is because we assume Worldly things and people are here to please us?!?!

Me, My guru – on looking within!

 

Me, My guru – on looking within! 

“But Guruji, how can we forgive someone who has cheated us and failed us so many times? Don’t give me some story to support “forgiveness” this time, please. I feel if we let them get away then they will assume they are right and become more arrogant. I think they will keep doing wrong more than ever. What is punishment for?” I was more than frustrated today and asked my Guru these questions. They have been pending since forever. They were with many for long. But, every time she would give some story and tell, “Forgive”. But, not today!

 “My job is not to find faults. My job is not to judge anyone. My job is not to taunt others and make them feel bad about their weaknesses, flaws and faults. I am not here to change people. My job is not to keep count of others’ wrongs. All that is “HIS” job and his purview.

My job is only to love, heal, care, show compassion, understanding, cheer when someone is making an effort to overcome some weakness. And with that ends my job. Not, tell me, where is there scope for anger, hatred, curse in my job?” said my Guru with a smile.

I was floored. It wasn’t easy being her!

It wasn’t easy being selfless and compassionate! But, she made it seem so effortless that it felt like even we could embrace those qualities. And that thought was enough for us to keep working on ourselves. 

Maybe, that was the reason we kept coming back to her. Maybe, that was the reason we still were with her after all these years. It wasn’t for her. It was because coming here we still kept hope for our change to grow strong. I smiled. I nodded my head and thanked my God. For once there was sincerity in my “thank you”.

Today, I understood where and what to focus on! Today I understood where I had been going wrong. My suffering was not because of what was happening in my life. It was because of where my focus was. But now, I knew all I had to do was to focus on the wrong of self over others!

It is simple and yet so difficult! With her, it was the simple ones that were so very difficult – always!

*****     

# forgiveness, let go, karma, working on our growth, being non-judgmental, healing, justice,

read suggested:https://kantipadam.blogspot.com/2017/05/ask-and-it-shall-be-given-me-my-guru_20.html   

Questions addressed and points to understand:

• When is it difficult to forgive?
• How to see a situation so that the need to forgive doesn't arise?
• Change of perception that can free us from hatred for others who have hurt us, cheated us, abused us and had been very selfish in our life...
• We are not "judges". We are not here to run the world. We are not given power to hurt others or sentence others for their acts. We are as guilty as others in action and deed and word...
• When we look at others' wrongs we want and talk about justice. We wish them to be sentenced for their wrongs.
• But when our wrongs are counted we seek forgiveness and mercy. We plead Gurus, others and God to not curse us for our wrongs. We preach the importance of forgiveness to others.
• If we want to be forgiven for our sins we should also forgive the sins of others. 
• Every wrong is addressed by karma. Let's not take it upon ourselves to hurt others in the name of justice.

Clarity of thought!

 

Clarity of thought!

They say "A picture is worth a million words". I don't know about all pictures but this surely got my attention. It said so much in such a crisp, concise form that I couldn't help but share it with you. Save this picture and keep it ready to be seen every single day - what I couldn't achieve through so many blog posts may be achieved with this simple picture.......

Do a small exercise - Take any (at least) 3 of the major problems that you faced in your life. Take one at a time and visually go through the different phases of facing that problem.

1.How you felt when you first realised there is a problem - how did you feel then?

2.Then, when you started to see how to address it or when you started looking for solutions

3. When you finally started working on solving it.

Do for all the 3 of the issues you had taken up for this exercise.

You can take and do for 'n' no. of problems in your life that  you have already faced and overcome.

The result will always be same!

What did  you understand from this?

What is your take on this?

How is it beneficial to you from now on? 

# problems and solutions, facts of life, celebrating life, problems and our perception, seeing what is, 

Clarification with regards to Swathi's comment on https://kantipadam.blogspot.com/2022/12/what-matters-most.html?showComment=1671680198749 

There is no need to feel if you are commenting on the right topic...it's all about expressing your journey - so let it be....

Wherever you share your experience, understanding, insight, the way you are handling your situation, change in your stand/perception/dealing with situations and people, looking at people etc - know that place to be right....sharing is the most important thing here.....

by the way - congrats on the change of perception and benefitting thereof ......keep being aware of yourself and change to lead a tension-free and pain-free life.......benefits

previous post on similar topic : https://kantipadam.blogspot.com/search?q=problem 

Me, my Guru – on perception

 

Contd.....

Me, my Guru – on perception

One enjoys that which he has. The other complaints about everything that he has.

It is just not a small habit. It is a lifestyle we are choosing. It is the way we are charting our destiny. It is the way; we are painting our future “You are a writer of your fate”.

Write right every single time!

These small acts and choices will decide the tilt towards your pain or pleasure.

Don’t come to me and ask “but, why is it happening to me maam?” on a later date.

Initially, it is tough to make the change. But sadhan, sadhan and more sadhan.

Make a conscious decision to develop Rama within. Choose to express ‘divinity’ which is within you. To let it express, be aware of your words, thoughts and feelings. Be alert enough to catch them.

Every time you catch yourself titling towards ‘asuric nature’ use the required technique and develop the ‘divine nature’. Develop it. It is an everyday practice. Muscles are not built over night. Similarly, the way the mind thinks and feels has to be developed with practice and patience. We have all the time in the World. Put it to good use.

And the good news is no need to go anywhere to develop ‘Rama’ within you. Just use everyday situations to do this sadhan.

Being ‘Vedantic’ is to do this. Just saying ‘Jai Ram’ doesn’t make you a ‘Hindu’. The real Bhakta is one who lets ‘Rama’ within express himself. Blessed are all who listen to such calls and wake up. Blessed also are those who just listen. But, more blessed are the ones who have decided to establish ‘Rama’ in their consciousness – Jai Siya Ram!!!

Concluded...... 

***    

# on perception, point of view, seeing good in others, Buddha and buddhu, you are what you see, outer world reflection of inner world

also read the previous post on this topic for added clarity:https://kantipadam.blogspot.com/2015/03/we-shall-overcome.html  

and

https://kantipadam.blogspot.com/2014/11/abundance.html   

{Points to be understood and questions addressed}

• Our outer world is a reflection of our inner world.
• Now everyone is talking about World coming to an End, pollution, End times etc etc.....all that is a reflection of the quality of human character in general....sum total of all the attitudes of the human race is reflected as outer chaos....
• If we love our kids and want our 'vansh' - lineage to continue we have but one way to do that - make a huge change within each one of us....we want to change the world and save the World....it looks like an impossible task what we politicians and people in power not seeing so....but if that can be achieved by millions of 'ordinary persons' making a change within, then is it not a 'possible dream?'
• Make change happen - however small it may - but make small changes happen within and see your life and the quality of life in this entire World change for the better.....
• But make reasons for being what you are justifying it with illogical reasoning then we need to see the worst times to come....no other people other than adamant nature - the one not wanting to change is the cause of our pain and suffering to come - Covid was just a teaser - the best of such ones are yet to come....wake up, make a change or suffer - the choice is ours to make.....

Food for thought:

Those who think that our thoughts are impacting the Global Warming, Globally in every way instead of beating ourselves up, let's do something constructive for a change....

Let's do Earth healing for next one week to come.....

come back with  your experiences, observations and suggestions....

          

Me, my Guru – on perception

Contd.....

Me, my Guru – on perception

If you are Rama, you’ll be having brothers like Lakshmana, Bharata and Shatrugn. Will be one married to spouse who is untempted(I don't think there is one such word, chalo I donate this word to English language)  by any levels of material riches. She’ll be faithful to you. You’ll be blessed with followers like Hanuman. But, if the asura in you is fanned then you’ll be surrounded by brothers Vibhishina who will desert you. That is, if your brother or sisters are good ones, they’ll leave you when you are wrong. Or if they are not the good ones and just like you, then they’ll bring about your downfall like Surpanaka. You’ll be tempted to choose riches over relationships like Ravana selected riches over Kubera, his brother. And what a downfall he had!

Even in ordinary situations, choosing to see good will develop gratitude, clarity of thought, humility and opportunity in every situation. We’ll experience love, affection and happiness in life.

But the more we tend to look at flaws and shortcomings, the more cynical, bitter and suspicious we become! And, I don’t need to tell you how these qualities impair our judgement, decision-making, state of mind, peace of mind and happiness!

The one who has taken a clue from Yudhishtra will see opportunity in every problem. And the one who follows Duryodhan will end up seeing the problem in every opportunity.

One regrets life. One celebrates life. One yearns for affection, and love, the other earns it. One drives people away from his life, and the other attracts all towards himself. 

*untempted - meaning who is not tempted....

Contd.....

# on perception, point of view, seeing good in others, Buddha and buddhu, you are what you see, outer world reflection of inner world

also read previous post on this topic for added clarity: https://kantipadam.blogspot.com/2015/03/who-am-i.html 

and https://kantipadam.blogspot.com/2014/03/secret-of-abundance.html 

Questions addressed and points to ponder:

• Why do I have such a family /friends circle?
• Bad part of the story is that we are responsible for having the kind of family that we have in life. The good part of that story is we can make a difference in our equation with same when we change for better. We can also go for healing the same with various techniques.
• What we are given is part of our karma. What we do with it reflects our attitude and that is in present. Depending on how we deal with situations will decide our future!

Time for some homework:

Pick up a relationship that is the most difficult one in your life. Heal that one for next three - 3 days.

Any one having experience with emotional healing even in the past can get back with their experiences....

Me, my Guru – on perception

 

Contd.....

Me, my Guru – on perception

Bhishma smiled, turned to Duryodhana, and said “You see; you couldn’t find even one good person in our kingdom whereas Yudhishtra couldn’t find even one bad person in the same kingdom. This is the quality required of a leader. Each person will have some weaknesses. But a leader is one who can see the good or some capability in him and put that to good use. That way, every person can be utilised for some good in him for the benefit of the kingdom. That way our kingdom will prosper.” Duryodhana went away angrily.

So you see, leader is one who can see good in all. This doesn’t apply to leader or a Guru, it applies to each one of us. The more I train to see and appreciate the good in others, the more the divine in me strengthened. That is the ‘psychic impression’ called samskaras that we carry over the janmas. That in turn decides the quality of our life. That is how destiny is formed. The asura in me will see ‘flaws’ in Lord Rama, Krishna, Buddha, Jesus or even Mother Theresa. Now what to say of people in my life. This being the case, how can one expect ‘good relationships’ in ones’ life? It’s not that such people don’t get to have friends or family. No! everyone has. It’s just that such nature will attract similar mentality people/person in my life.

Contd.....

# on perception, point of view, seeing good in others, Buddha and buddhu, you are what you see, outer world reflection of inner world

also read previous post on this topic for added clarity: https://kantipadam.blogspot.com/2015/03/oh-god.html 

and

https://kantipadam.blogspot.com/2015/03/help-others-to-tide-over-your-problems.html 

Points to ponder:

• We all want others to respect us, listen to us, follow us. We want to have power and position to lead others.
• But the qualities that are required to do so, we royally lack and don't care to develop.
• The qualities of a leader or Guru are not rocket-science. They are simple and told umpteen times before. But following them, developing them SEEMS herculean task not by way of its implementation but because we don't want to develop those qualities. Why? That why each one of you should find it out for yourself.
• Some of you may say "But, I don't want to maam" fair enough - just stop complaining that everyone is taking you for granted. You can't cry that you are not given a position of respect and power. You can't seek the perks of being a leader or a Guru - remember that!

Time for Homework:

Pick up any one quality that you don't want to develop /overcome - say laziness, indiscipline, punctuality, regularity, participation in group activities - and so on and so forth. Meditate on it and get back with your responses if you please. Even if you don't want to put it up in blog, still do the exercise and jot it down in your journal.....

No need to do any follow up action on these qualities. Just meditate and write it down. It may take couple of weeks for some to understand the reason behind even one quality - no problem...just do it...

Sit in meditation just 15mts per day. The day you start getting answers start writing it down.