Me, My Guru -Bhagavatam

...contd....

But he did give management tips with live examples later part of the day was spent healing and seeking personal counselling. This was one class that didn’t have set syllabi and everyone was flexible enough to attend to personal issues too during these sessions. Our Guru had sought our opinion in this matter and as we didn’t object, she let it be for this particular class.

I was too lost imagining ‘Krishna’ as management guru to want something more. It was then that I realized something unusual. Krishna never expected anything from anyone and anywhere. He was open to experience life. He had challenges, problems at every nook and corner and yet met them head-on but with a smile on his face. His stance was composed. That’s why he enjoyed company of his friends and was equally at ease when alone! He embraced both rejecting none and that was the reason for his ‘smile’ and happiness. No doubt he was ever so calm and composed.  As our Guru was explaining something to one of her student, I overheard her say “In company and in solitude, he was happy...sangarahita, sangaviheena...nandathi, nandathi ...”

Yes! That exactly was my problem. When in company, I was mentally alone and presumed “I was longing for solitude’ or that I was in space where I was comfortable being alone. And when in class, I was looking forward to discuss with others. My expectation was not met and I felt I missed them and was confused as to why I sought company. Both times, I was not what I thought I was. My need was not my need. It was just “issue based” and I had presumed it to be ‘my nature’

now. So, I was confused as to how I can change so fast – when infact I hadn’t changed at all! I hadn’t developed a character yet. That which changes every hour can’t be ‘me’. It did say that I was fickle-minded. Yes, that can be said to be my character. That’s all! But longing for friends and seeking solitude weren’t part of my character yet – they just reflected my need of that hour only! And that was the reason for my suffering and confusion!

I thanked her silently and left her class.

Sometimes – no many times her single word had helped me ‘see’ so clearly what I couldn’t ‘see’ breaking my head.

Did I thank her enough for this? I doubted!

Did she know this? Either way, she was least bothered!

Would the same word carry same effect if heard from some other person’s mouth?

I wanted to believe the answer to be ‘yes’.

It made my journey easy – somehow!

But experience negated my desire!

And today I already had my quota of fight between two extremes. I didn’t have energy for one more. I just let it be.

I closed the gate behind me!

concluded...........