Me, My Guru

...contd.....

Today only thing that mattered was my anger and I expressed it in words “why nothing comes easily to me?” Actually I wanted to cry out loud out of anger but I didn’t and instead here I was shouting and shooting irrelevant questions at my Guru.

As I sat venting out my anger, I found her going about her chores calmly. It was as if I didn’t exist. Of God! She was so insensitive. Especially on days and times like now when I needed her the most! But what can I do about that! If I had been angry about others, I could complain to her. But if I was angry at her, where could I go? Nowhere! Maybe she was calm because she knew it. I didn’t like being at this space, yet there she was saying nothing and doing nothing to relieve me of my suffering. Her detachment at times was very inhuman. Why couldn’t she be a little at least at such times? I knew that she knew that I needed her more than ever and yet she was silent all through – as if, as if I didn’t exist. So bad!

Maybe coming here was not all together a good idea. I shouldn’t have come in the first place. But........

      

 She had so many coloured roses and in so many shades. It was really a feast to see so many of them in one place. Hats off to her patience! I liked orange rose the most. Its colour and shade was so different. Not all that common. Pink was such a common one. I didn’t like that colour rose for some reason. 

 

...contd....