Tuesday, August 19, 2014

Desire - how it effects marital journey




…contd….

“Yes, of course.  When I expect my spouse to fulfill my needs and expectations, I am looking at all the times he/she is not fulfilling them and of course keeping tab on them.  However much she/he tries, they’ll not be able to do everything – not putting socks/shoes/clothes in place, eating habits not being right, spending styles which are irritating and we would suffer ‘because of them’ as per our understanding.

But, when I am ‘in love’ with my spouse, I am looking at ways of making their life comfortable not at what they did/didn’t do. My joy begins and ends at bringing smile on their face and making them and their life comfortable.  I would be ever in praise of them (only when they are due – not without a reason then it becomes flattery which is bad for the doer and the done too!) especially in front of others and not let others rebuke them! Praise means you have acknowledged and noticed their effort, work and goodness and are validating them. Undue praise talks about shallowness of our character. For me, their goodness has to be recognised by others and I would fight on behalf of them when someone says anything insensible against them.  I wouldn’t keep my mouth shut because my good name will get spoiled if I open my mouth to defend them…….”

Infact, you’ve married her to be her shield against the onslaught of relatives and world….

People are more bothered about the things than the person. No doubt, ‘love” is not everybody’s cup of tea! It doesn’t happen to all.  Only the blessed few feel it, live it and share it.” She stopped suddenly and seemed lost to us.  She was silent for quite some time.

…contd….


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