On knowing self - Me, My Guru
...Contd.......
We were silent
for a while. Shreya seemed to be going through our Guru’s explanation mentally.
Few minutes later she said “Actually Guru my pain is not because of these
reasons. I’ve healed these many times and now these reasons don’t seem to
effect me much. What confuses me and irritates me is the fact that I know I am
not selfish and yet seem to be affected by those labels. I am also confused if
what I think about myself is different from what I actually am. Maybe, I am not
able to see my ‘real nature’ myself! How do I work on that?” she asked.
I felt so
relieved when I heard those words. I had this issue since long but wasn’t able
to word it right. She was almost there. I wouldn’t say 100% but mostly there.
Now I waited for the answer.
“Stop defending
yourself and stop explaining yourself. We defend ‘ferociously’ people whom we
love and ourselves. Stop doing that. Suppose someone says “your children fight
a lot” don’t jump to explain how sweet your kids are, how they love each other
etc. That moment they are fighting, let it be. Don’t work ‘hard’ to establish
‘their image’. It’s a very painful process. The same applies to self too. If
someone says “God, you look fat” don’t explain your diet chart, workout
schedule etc to them. Don’t ‘justify’ how you look or what you are. You
consider yourself thin in relation to last month but they must have seen you
after 10 years so let it be. Everything is relative in this world. So relax,
smile and move on. Don’t explain or justify yourself or your actions.
That doesn’t
mean you stop explaining why you went out and why you came late or spent so
much to a family member. Don’t mix up issues. Don’t use my ‘correct rules’ in
wrong places to get away with your wrong acts and intentions” her voice had
authority as she concluded.
This was always
the case. Many of us used her ‘right tip’ in wrong places and then quoted her while
doing that. She really got angry at times.
Then she went to
explain the same giving various examples and situations, but I didn’t need to listen
to any of it. I got the gist of it all “Stop defending and explaining yourself”
simple! As I understood when I later discussed with others was not only was
this to be done externally but also internally. Yes, in the ‘inner chatter’ that we had
too, we should stop ‘justifying ourselves’. This actually brought down the
quantity of clutter talk. Such simple technique and yet such powerful results!
I was happy and
so did others seem to be! I didn’t need much by way of explanation this time. If
others who applied vouched by this technique, then all I had to do was apply it
and see.
It wasn’t
something that I could do on my own. I needed situations and people to apply
it. Now I looked forward to face such situations so that I could apply it and
see the results. It would take atleast 3-4 months for me to notice some change.
I was ready to wait. I was excited to apply too!
With meditations and healing myself all these years I have come to know and understand others well..but it was myself that I was falling short of understanding or knowing completely...I didn't know where and how to start and go about it...."Stop labelling and defending yourself and stop justifying yourself" made it seem so simple. I could already see it's effect on myself and my state of being. The rest fell in place automatically. Though the technique was simple its' application would take a good toll on my patience and I knew it with experience. It would take time but where was the hurry as long as I knew where I was heading and how to go about it.....
With meditations and healing myself all these years I have come to know and understand others well..but it was myself that I was falling short of understanding or knowing completely...I didn't know where and how to start and go about it...."Stop labelling and defending yourself and stop justifying yourself" made it seem so simple. I could already see it's effect on myself and my state of being. The rest fell in place automatically. Though the technique was simple its' application would take a good toll on my patience and I knew it with experience. It would take time but where was the hurry as long as I knew where I was heading and how to go about it.....
Rest of the
session was just a haze for me. I received what I needed. I felt rich and left
her place feeling so............
Sometimes I received solutions which didn't give me immediate proof of their effect but over the years I had developed that trust in her and her techniques that I knew I received what I needed....I had applied her various and seen results and found them effective - always....and knew somewhere deep down that this too would show results....I still couldn't see and understand how this would solve my issue or address my state of being but it no longer mattered. I was ready enough to go with the technique and learn along the way...a smile played on my lips and I felt lightness in my steps.....
Sometimes I received solutions which didn't give me immediate proof of their effect but over the years I had developed that trust in her and her techniques that I knew I received what I needed....I had applied her various and seen results and found them effective - always....and knew somewhere deep down that this too would show results....I still couldn't see and understand how this would solve my issue or address my state of being but it no longer mattered. I was ready enough to go with the technique and learn along the way...a smile played on my lips and I felt lightness in my steps.....
Concluded...............
