Ugadi

...contd...

I paused.  I was trying to internalize all that she just said.  She let me be!

"And you say all this is possible only if I bury my past and make a new beginning."

I asked, still not convinced about the connection.

"Yes, in a way" she started "This moment is complete.  But, to experience is next to impossible as long as I am lost in yesterday or dreaming about tomorrow" she concluded....

I still couldn't get it all.  As I never did.  Not because I didn't understand it literally.  That I did completely.  But, something was beyond words which I wasn't grasping - that much I knew.  And for that I need to keep thinking abou the entire conversation till I get it completely.  And that would be possible, only if I experience what she said so casually.  But, for that, I need to put to practise letting go of past, receiving this moment with freshness and newness.  I should not practise it just on Ugadi.  I knew, after being with her all these years, she never said anything that trivial as related to only one day.

I had to live every moment for itself.  And just a thought of it and I knew - this could be a long journey within and it's not that would come effortlessly.  No, I had to practise it religiously and with faith God knows for how many years - may be it would take janmas.  Break I'll umpteen times.  And I am sure, she'll be there guiding me, cozxing me, reminding me in her own little way and style in so many ways - that if I made an attempt, she'll hold me up against all perils.

But, it was not about her.  It was about me, my endurance, my perseverance, my faith, my dedication, my will and above all the strength of my desire to experience what she explained....

This time I wanted to put it into practise - for my own sweet sake and I decided to let her know - but she had gone into the mediation hall.  I found her sitting in meditation there.  I bowed to her.  I left without disturbing her.

This "Ugadi" really was going to be my "new beginning"....

I smiled happily as this thought crossed my mind......

concluded.....

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