Thursday, April 16, 2015

Duties of a Good Husband....





…contd…


“Thanks maam, now I understood why there is so much of problems in our house. My husband doesn’t fulfill my desires and I am every compromising on my desires since the day I married. I am never happy. As you rightly said it is duty of a husband to fulfill wife’s desires. But how do I make him realize?”


First let me clarify that no where and never I mentioned or meant that its husband’s duty to fulfill all desires of his wife. As a bread-winner he should cater to basic needs. Over and above that whatever he gives is bonus. Unfortunately, in such cases ‘he is not the cause of suffering. You are the problem.” Husband is not an ATM card who comes with unlimited credit limit. No, it is not so. His duty is to work and earn only to the best of his abilities and through proper means. Earnings are not dependent on the person’s educational qualification, knowledge or even hard work. Just look at politicians with none of these qualities they earn a lot. But that is no good earning. That doesn’t mean he is “good husband”. It only means ‘he earns well’ but that doesn’t mean “he is good person or good husband.”

A man’s duty is to just cater to a woman’s basic needs with honesty. As long as he earns and uses all his earnings to cater to the family’s responsibilities he is not at fault. Women can have unlimited desires and wants of this world. If he is not able to give a diamond necklace, take her on foreign tour, give her designer sarees (ensemble) then he doesn’t qualify as ‘bad husband’. Yes she has right to cry, crib, complain and suffer but the cause of that tear is certainly not her husband in such cases. In such cases, that wife falls short of being ‘good wife’ as she is the cause of his pain by making tall and never ending demands. Even if she cries 24X7, he is not responsible for those tears and even though she declares ‘he is good for nothing’ he doesn’t become ‘bad husband’. He hasn’t failed in his duties – provided he has stood by her when she was right and others had wanted to insult her.


Please understand this point for once and for all clearly. (I am explaining it again and again this time because this is the oft repeated query). Giving comforts is good but is only optional by husband. I mean if he has money and facilities and yet denies her comforts then he has failed as husband. But if he doesn’t have means and inspite of hard work is not able to give her comforts then, he doesn’t become a ‘bad husband’ because of this reason. (I hope it’s clear now).

On the contrary, if the wife to fulfill her desires forces him to take to illegal ways of earning then she has failed as a wife and then she is ‘bad wife’. Sita by making a demand of ‘Golden Deer’ is an example of that fact that if wife desires for things which are unnatural then both husband and wife have to suffer a lot if husband tries to fulfill that ‘wrong desire of hers’ instead of explaining the consequences of such wish. If Sita or Rama – either of them had restrained their desire to possess (of Sita) and to fulfill her desire (of Rama) then they couldn’t have had to undergo all the suffering that they went through. 

Loving a wife is excellent but being blinded in love and being ready to fulfill all and sundry wish is stupidity.  

...contd....

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