…contd…
“Thanks maam, now I understood
why there is so much of problems in our house. My husband doesn’t fulfill my
desires and I am every compromising on my desires since the day I married. I am
never happy. As you rightly said it is duty of a husband to fulfill wife’s
desires. But how do I make him realize?”
First let me clarify that no
where and never I mentioned or meant that its husband’s duty to fulfill all
desires of his wife. As a bread-winner he should cater to basic needs. Over and
above that whatever he gives is bonus. Unfortunately, in such cases ‘he is not
the cause of suffering. You are the problem.”
Husband is not an ATM card who comes with unlimited credit limit. No, it is not
so. His duty is to work and earn only to the best of his abilities and through
proper means. Earnings are not dependent on the person’s educational
qualification, knowledge or even hard work. Just look at politicians with none
of these qualities they earn a lot. But that is no good earning. That doesn’t
mean he is “good husband”. It only means ‘he earns well’ but that doesn’t mean
“he is good person or good husband.”
A man’s duty is to just cater to a woman’s
basic needs with honesty. As long as he earns and uses all his earnings to
cater to the family’s responsibilities he is not at fault. Women can have unlimited
desires and wants of this world. If he is not able to give a diamond necklace,
take her on foreign tour, give her designer sarees (ensemble) then he doesn’t
qualify as ‘bad husband’. Yes she has right to cry, crib, complain and suffer
but the cause of that tear is certainly not her husband in such cases. In such
cases, that wife falls short of being ‘good wife’ as she is the cause of his
pain by making tall and never ending demands. Even if she cries 24X7, he is not
responsible for those tears and even though she declares ‘he is good for
nothing’ he doesn’t become ‘bad husband’. He hasn’t failed in his duties –
provided he has stood by her when she was right and others had wanted to insult
her.
Please understand this point for
once and for all clearly. (I am explaining it again and again this time because
this is the oft repeated query). Giving comforts is good but is only optional
by husband. I mean if he has money and facilities and yet denies her comforts
then he has failed as husband. But if he doesn’t have means and inspite of hard
work is not able to give her comforts then, he doesn’t become a ‘bad husband’
because of this reason. (I hope it’s clear now).
On the contrary, if the wife to
fulfill her desires forces him to take to illegal ways of earning then she has
failed as a wife and then she is ‘bad wife’. Sita by making a demand of ‘Golden
Deer’ is an example of that fact that if wife desires for things which are
unnatural then both husband and wife have to suffer a lot if husband tries to
fulfill that ‘wrong desire of hers’ instead of explaining the consequences of
such wish. If Sita or Rama – either of them had restrained their desire to
possess (of Sita) and to fulfill her desire (of Rama) then they couldn’t have
had to undergo all the suffering that they went through.
Loving a wife is excellent but
being blinded in love and being ready to fulfill all and sundry wish is
stupidity.
...contd....
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