Me, My Guru - On life and death – III!

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Me, My Guru - On life and death – III!

       

We ought to break our belief system.

Death is not ‘opposite’ of life. It is part and parcel of life. Death is happening to us every waking and sleeping time. We are dying with every breath. People celebrate their birthdays. Have you looked at it a little from distance?” so saying our Guru looked at all of us. We – well, most of us nodded in negative. We didn’t like to talk about death – leave alone meditating on it or thinking about it. 

But our Guru being who she was, would talk on all and sundry subjects. Most of us kept pushing this topic aside since beginning and she kept coming back to it again and again – one way or the other. We didn’t like it. It is not as if she didn’t understand that. And yet, she pushed this topic more number of times than our acceptance level. She was more adamant than us – especially in this one! I got irritated at her for this. Honestly, I was more than angry with her. So were some more!! And I am sure she knew it. And yet it didn’t affect her decision to go ahead with this topic. I mean, who talks or discusses death? 

While I was busy in my head, Rahul’s voice cut through my thoughts saying “but Guruji, how can our looking at death closely help us with our life? We are so afraid of death that all our life we are running away from it. How can you expect us to ‘look at’ death? Can you be more specific?”

Contd....

# life and death, living life, make moments count, long life, meaningful life, full of life, life, death, problems and solutions, inevitable and how to face them, suffering is optional, 

also read suggested : https://kantipadam.blogspot.com/2021/10/on-life-and-death-ii.html 

and

https://kantipadam.blogspot.com/2021/10/on-life-and-death-ii_01153322067.html 

and

https://kantipadam.blogspot.com/2021/10/on-life-and-death-ii_01211268438.html 

On post :

** Try to read the sentences marked with 'Red colour' more than once to understand them better.

Meditate on them!

"We ought to break our belief system" - Every understanding happens only when we break our 'OLD" belief system. If we keep saying "I am right, I know I am right" then with that 'adamant mindset' we can not move forward towards better clarity of thought. So we need to look into every belief system - one at a time and try to think on it. Question them. But, we can't look at them objectively until we detach from them. As long as we "OWN UP" our belief systems, we will only end up justifying them. We get angry at people who question us of our belief systems. We tend to get uncomfortable. 

Being uncomfortable is good! That shows where our 'ego' is operating from. It is painful - I agree. It is uncomfortable - I agree. But, if you want to live life fully, we need to these 'uncomfortable parts' of our selves sooner than later!

"We didn’t like to talk about death – leave alone meditating on it or thinking about it." - The issues that disturb us, makes us uncomfortable, pain us we usually push them under the carpet. We don't want to address them. We don't want to see them for they mean or for what they are! 

But, as long as we hush it up, as long as we don't look into our fear into its eyes we can never get released from it. Many times, all we have to do is look at it closely and without any filters to get released from it. 

Courage - that is the most important attitude that helps us overcome our fears. Use it. You have it. Put it to good use and become free from fears!

"But our Guru being who she was, would talk on all and sundry subjects." - Look at the words "Guru being who she was..." - now here is a person who is fearless to talk about death and we don't see her fearlessness. We don't see her as a person who has worked on her fear and overcome it. We don't see her as a person who is patiently trying to help us overcome our fear. 

Instead we 'name' her as 'being who she was' and call her names. We insult her. 

This is not about Guru of this story. This is about every person who is strong, capable, helpful, courageous - be it Rama, Krishna, Buddha, Gandhi or our every day heroes from our life - we just insult their 'strength of their character' by calling them names. Who is at loss here? We at the end. We lose one more chance to benefit from the presence and words of these 'characters' in our life. And then we keep complaining, crying and cursing God and who not for not listening to our prayers etc etc.....

think about it....

"We didn’t like it. / I got irritated at her for this. Honestly, I was more than angry with her." - Look at these sentences. They all say one thing for sure - that if someone says anything contrary to our 'belief system or comfort levels' then we get angry at them. We like people only as long as they try to please us. But the real people are those who do 'right things' for you. The genuine people say 'right things' that are good for you. They are actually being truthful to you and yet....

no, doubt, we end up being with people who exploit us, demean us, use and abuse us....and later cry out loud asking "Why are people not truthful and honest? Why is everyone cheating?"

You get what you want.....you get what you work for....

so beware.....

"Rahul’s voice cut through my thoughts saying" - and in the same world we also have people like Rahul taking every opportunity given to him. He is open to every help that comes his way. This journey is painful to him too. This journey is uncomfortable to him too. But he LOVES HIMSELF too much to live in the shit of "bad choices". He is SELFISH enough to be good to himself and work for his higher good. He is ready to undergo pain to reach a state of higher peace, understanding, happiness and respect.

Me, My Guru - On life and death – III!

 

Me, My Guru - On life and death – III!

“Every death brings some understanding with it. When it comes, it makes me sit up and look at life more closely. Yes, death is one aspect of life that teaches us about ourselves, our values, our belief systems and about life itself! Doesn’t it sound like a paradox? But then, that’s the irony of life and death!!!

Many can’t even can imagine death talking or teaching about life??!! That is because, most of us are taught ‘not to talk about death’. With no talk, we don’t even think about death. Now, more than before we are seeing death visiting our near and dear ones right and left and yet – we push it away or keep it aside. We don’t dare to look at it. We don’t have courage or inquisitiveness to look into its eye and understand it!

From the beginning we are programmed to think of death as ‘something bad, ominous and sinister’.

1.We assume it happens to others and that it won’t happen to us.

2.We assume ‘death’ to be the end of ‘life’.

3.We assume ‘death’ to be the end of ‘life’.

4.We say, feel and think death is opposite of life.

I request all of you to take time to sit and meditate on death. Only a person who meditates on death can live life fearlessly! Only an understanding of death will make it possible for us to embrace life for all it offers.

Contd....

# life and death, living life, make moments count, long life, meaningful life, full of life, life, death, problems and solutions, inevitable and how to face them, suffering is optional, 

also read suggested : https://kantipadam.blogspot.com/2021/10/on-life-and-death-i.html 

and

https://kantipadam.blogspot.com/2021/10/on-life-and-death-i_01916792057.html 

Me, My Guru - On life and death – III!

 

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Me, My Guru - On life and death – III!

I hated this guy more than ever! Why had he to open his mouth? He is ever trying to please her with questions that encouraged her to talk more on such topics. He simply could’ve kept his mouth shut. But no, he had to open his mouth! Wow!

Our Guru needed no further push or pleading. She started “Buddha one day came to know of his death. He asked all his students to listen to his important declaration. He said “In just 4 months I am going to leave this physical body. I no longer will operate with this body. So, if any of you need to ask or know something that I can teach, ask or seek from me. I’ll still be able to guide you in physical form for next 4 months. Make best use of this time!” so saying he became silent.

Listening him say this all students were shocked and disturbed. Some became restless. Few started to cry. Some started to discuss about the future of the ‘Sangha’ (the order of monks that Buddha established like mutt). It was evident they were scared, angry and restless. They didn’t know what to do. There was one student who was sitting in the corner looking intently at Buddha. He saw the ‘pleasantness’ in Master’s face. He noticed his composure – so relaxed, so composed and so still! He said to himself “All my life, I’ve wasted on little nothings. I had an opportunity to be at so close proximity to such a great Master. And yet, all I could think about was ‘dead routine non-sense’. But, still there is 4 months left. Let me meditate 24/7 as per my master’s guidance. Let me at least walk on the path of realization even if I can’t get one in this 4 months. 

Master always says “Each one has to realize by himself”. Let me practice from this moment on!” 

Immediately after, he became silent from outside and inside too!

Contd....

# life and death, living life, make moments count, long life, meaningful life, full of life, life, death, problems and solutions, inevitable and how to face them, suffering is optional, 

also read suggested : https://kantipadam.blogspot.com/2009/06/senses.html 

On understanding this post : 

"Listening him say this all students were shocked and disturbed. ....." - Look at the reactions of all the students. Varied! Situation is same but the reaction and response is so different from one another. Similarly, we face the same ups and downs in life and yet the way we respond or react to it depends on who we are. And that is in our control. And that response or reaction is the deciding factor of our 'pain and suffering' levels in our life. 

One person may have just one event or wish not being fulfilled and he goes crazy over that. He loses it all. He is ever angry and restless. He is not able to enjoy the 'other abundance' in life.

Whereas, the other one may have nothing in life. He may be inflicted with physical ailment that pains him day and night. He may not have a career that supports him or gives him regular income. HE may not have any support from his family too. Not only that he may be having problems of every kind given by his family, friends and others in his life - day in and day out - and yet, every one who meets him thinks he is the most happiest person on Earth!! He is envied by one and all. They assume he has it all for he is ever so happy and his happiness is ever so infectious. He is always surrounded by people seeking help and support from him. He motivates others to be optimistic, happy, hopeful and peaceful. He shares and cares and encourages others to do same. He forgives and tells everyone of its benefits.

The difference is 'attitude'. 

"There was one student who was sitting in the corner looking intently at Buddha. " - 1.There may be many students in a masters life but hardly one or two actually follow what the master has to teach. 

2. The understanding may happen at any moment. But the preparation for that moment has to be in process right from now. Only then we become 'available' before it is too late.

3. However bleak the situation and however inevitable the situation, there is something to take from it. The one with right mind can take the right from a bad situation too. 

4. Look for the 'good' in every situation and the good will come in abundance towards you.

"Immediately after, he became silent from outside and inside too!" - All the precious time and energy is lost in wasteful blabbering, arguing, trying to understand logically and in analysing. Instead, simply put to use the techniques given by the healing process and get benefitted. Sadhan, sadhan and sadhan and nothing like sadhan!

Please Note : Comments will be published only if name is included in the comments or if comments is made from your mail.id.....

Me, My Guru - On life and death – III!

 

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Me, My Guru - On life and death – III!

3.Don’t wait to share your affection, thoughts (right ones), time, gifts with the person you care about. You never know when you have to say ‘goodbye’ to people in your life. When we lose a person then we sit and regret and miss that person. Don’t be that fool any longer. Just live relationships for what and how they are meant to be like! Throw that list of complaints, to-do-list and fault-finding nature out of the window. Go, live life with that person. We miss out on ‘living a relationship’ (when I say relationship I don’t mean just the one that all want to or have with the ‘special one!?’ but every relationship that constitutes our world) by way of complaints and then pray “God, give me long life” Why? Whatever you are doing now, you are going to do till 100!?

What is the purpose of carrying this bitterness till ripe old age? We are waiting for that ‘special person’ to come. We are wishing for person ‘now’ in our life to vanish from our lives. We are assuming to live life happily in our imagination. There in our imagination we have all our conditions met. But, that day, sadly is never gonna come. So, in short we are never gonna be happy. Then why live life so long? 

4.People who sit to discuss, analyse and trying to understand hardly go from point A to B. But, the one – the one like that students’ sister – the moment they hear about someone being in some sadhan would follow suit. They don’t sit to gauge its uses, benefits or understand it’s working. That is ‘love’ (love for self) that drives you to pick up something even without reasoning about it. That is ‘trust’ that drives a person to reach great heights of growth through a simple procedure followed. The quality required for this is purity of intent, trust and surrenderence!

Contd....

# life and death, living life, make moments count, long life, meaningful life, full of life, life, death, problems and solutions, inevitable and how to face them, suffering is optional, 

also read suggested : https://kantipadam.blogspot.com/2009/03/real-growth-is-in-letting-go.html 

Points to understand post :

"the moment they hear about someone being in some sadhan would follow suit." - 1.Most common excuse for not coming to class or doing sadhan is "I don't have company" or "I am waiting for XYZ to get time so that we would come together"

Do everything in life together. But we are born alone and die alone. We also have to fight our inner demons alone! Don't wait for others to come with  you. ONLY in this area of life, be totally selfish. Ask others to come with you, encourage others to work with you and come with you. But if they don't, don't wait for them. It's your time and life you are wasting. Think about it! 

2.The sister of the monk did not postpone being in sadhan. She didn't say "But Buddha is dying. I will learn at my pace and at my sweet convenience." We all assume we have time. WE DON'T. Don't fret it away with lame excuses. Sadhan, sadhan nothing like sadhan! 

Grab every opportunity to fine tune yourself! Every step taken towards knowing your inner thoughts takes you towards your real self - the core of your being - the centre of abundance of every kind! 

When  you come to class, you not only heal yourself but with your 'healed self' you are better company to the one you are/have been waiting for. Isn't it? A person when he heals himself, makes atmosphere good and comfortable to all with whom he is interacting, living and being in relation with! Then is it not sensible to come alone rather than not come alone to class?

Do you stop sleeping, eating, travelling or enjoying life just because that 'someone' is not there with you? Then why that reason for sadhan and for coming to class?

Question time :

The points explained doesn't sum up all the points that can be understood through this post. There is lot more to it than that meets the eye!

All the students understanding doesn't sum up all that needs to be understood from the story that the Guru told. What is your take on that story?

How did this post make its mark?

What did you take from this post?

Me, My Guru - On life and death – III!

 

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Me, My Guru - On life and death – III!

He was startled and shocked. He went as requested. He was shaken by the time he reached the monastery.

Buddha called him and asked his experience of the day. The monk replied “The Great One! It was very disturbing day for me. Today, I went in the area you commanded me to seek bhiksha. Our monk’s sister stays there. Every thought I had got manifested immediately. Later, I realized she could read my thoughts and so fulfilled them”.

Buddha smiled and replied “Let’s see what happens tomorrow”.

The monk shook his head and replied “No, Great One! I can’t! That lady can read my thoughts. She also must’ve read my other thoughts. I had some thoughts of lust too today! She would’ve known that too. And so, I am ashamed to face her again”.

Buddha nodded his head and said “That’s ok! You HAVE to go there again without fail tomorrow. There is no going back on that! But, when you go there just go with a ‘sakshibhav’ –i.e., be a witness to your thoughts. Just keep looking at them”.

Contd....

# life and death, living life, make moments count, long life, meaningful life, full of life, life, death, problems and solutions, inevitable and how to face them, suffering is optional, 

also read suggested : https://kantipadam.blogspot.com/2018/05/on-love-and-ego.html 

Points to understand post :

"That’s ok! You HAVE to go there again without fail tomorrow."- Do the thing that you fear till that fear goes away. There is no other way to outgrow fear!

"sakshibhav’ –i.e., be a witness to your thoughts. " - Become aware of your thoughts. Become aware of what you are generating. Become aware of your self! If being aware of  yourself is giving you pain and suffering, then 'being that YOU' - does it sound reasonable? If being aware of yourself makes you uncomfortable, then how can you expect others to be comfortable around you? How can  you expect affection and respect from others? How can  you ever be at peace with yourself?

The one who is not comfortable being with himself has got VERY BAD COMPANY!  It's hightime he changes it! (There is a high chance of misunderstanding and misquoting this sentence. By doing so, one is only harming himself, not proving anything good about himself)

Me, My Guru - On life and death – III!

 

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Me, My Guru - On life and death – III!

        

When other students saw him looking blankly at Buddha’s face, they thought he was shocked beyond repair. They shook him, shouted at him and pleaded him to cry even to release his pain and anguish. He didn’t talk. He didn’t explain. He didn’t fight or judge them. He kept looking at his master’s face!

 

After having tried doing everything to make him cry, talk or move and having failed, they rushed to Buddha. They told him about ‘this student’. Buddha smiled and said ‘Leave him alone! He is the only one doing what ought to be done at such times. The one who has to go would go anyhow even if you cry and create a scene. Nothing can stop ‘death’ when it comes. So saying even Buddha went into meditation.

Now, this student had a sister at home. She came to know of the entire incident. She decided to sit in meditation along with her brother. From that day onwards, she would complete all her works as soon as possible and sit and meditate all through the day and night. Few days passed.

Contd....

# life and death, living life, make moments count, long life, meaningful life, full of life, life, death, problems and solutions, inevitable and how to face them, suffering is optional, 

also read suggested : https://kantipadam.blogspot.com/search?q=There+are+different+ways+of+learning..... 

On understanding this post : 

"He is the only one doing what ought to be done at such times." - Everybody acts in response to a situation. But only the blessed few know to "ACT RIGHT". And this blessedness comes with every choice we make through the day, every day of our life. With every healing, this blessedness becomes us! Through humility that we are not 'entitled' to life or the niceties of life comes this blessedness. Through gratefulness for life and its gifts from the Creator comes this blessedness. On letting go off things that we want from life and in demanding situations to work out in our "fixated' way of desire we become eligible to receive this "BLESSEDNESS".

"She decided to sit in meditation along with her brother. " - To the READY student, to the pure in intent and heart, to the humble even hearing about some "right act" of others is enough to take them towards abundance. It connects them to their SELF! They work out their karma! They work out their destiny!

Me, My Guru - On life and death – III!

 

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Me, My Guru - On life and death – III!

It was customary of Buddha to send each monk to a certain area for bhiksha(alms). One of the monks was sent for ‘bhiksha’ in the area where our meditating monks sister lived. As he entered the area he thought “If only I need not ask every house and instead someone came out and give bhiksha on their own!”

The sister of the monk heard his thoughts, came out of the house and invited him in. He was pleased that his prayers were answered. He then thought “If only I was served grand feast today!” He was then served. The food was heavy. He felt drowsy. He thought “if only I was insisted upon and allowed to sleep in this house”.

Immediately, the sister of the monk said “Sir, the room over there is empty of inmate. You can lie down and rest a while. Please leave after the rest”.

Now the monk was very pleased and accepted the invitation. He slept well and got up after a good sleep. 

Now that he was relaxed he went through the day’s events. He realized that every thought that he had had manifest or was attended to. He knew it wasn’t and can’t be a coincidence. He felt it had to do with the lady of that house. To check his analysis, he wished that he gets someone to drop him at the monastery (ashram). He didn’t wish to walk now. He gave in to his laziness. He sat for some time. It was then that the lady came in and said “Sir, there is conveyance waiting for you. It will take you to your monastery. Please come”

Contd....

# life and death, living life, make moments count, long life, meaningful life, full of life, life, death, problems and solutions, inevitable and how to face them, suffering is optional, 

2.also read suggested : https://kantipadam.blogspot.com/2020/04/on-choosing-death.html 

On understanding this post : 

"The sister of the monk heard his thoughts, came out of the house and invited him in. " - 1.The one who meditates without any desire and with purity of intent, the one who is pure in heart hearing the thoughts of others is no big deal.

2.Once you think, your thoughts are everywhere to be heard by anyone who has stilled his mind. 

3.We may think in the still of the night, but that thought too is out there in the Universe. Nothing is hidden from the Universe, nothing is a secret with Universe. 

"Now the monk was very pleased and accepted the invitation." ...."He felt it had to do with the lady of that house." - 1.Look at the contradicting feelings. The monk got what he wanted. And yet, when he realised that the lady of the house could read his thoughts he got restless. We want something, we want to understand how it works and yet we are not strong enough to face the Truth! That duality in us causes friction within us and there in lies cause of our suffering....

2. Many times, even when we get what we wanted, we are not happy saying "but I got it in this colour, shape etc", "but I wanted in 2015 and I got it in 2020" and so on and so forth...just listen to your complaints. Know yourself! There in lies cause and release from your pains....

Me, My Guru - On life and death – III!

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Me, My Guru - On life and death – III!

 

Having completed her tea, she asked “So, what did you understand from all this? Where do you think your understanding can be fitted?”

The best of our understanding (collective!) can be summed up as follows:

1.The sensible person and a great Guru – both can make good use of even small amount of time of their life. They don’t sit to ask “Why it happened to me” type of questions. They never waste time in such idle questions and talk. They put their time and thus their life to good use – every single time!

2.We always desire to know others’ thoughts. People are always asking “Guruji, can you read others’ thoughts? Can you teach us to?”

But they forget if we can read others’ thoughts, even our thoughts can be read by others. And are we comfortable with that? Will we be confident if we knew that our thoughts are picked by others?

Contd....

# life and death, living life, make moments count, long life, meaningful life, full of life, life, death, problems and solutions, inevitable and how to face them, suffering is optional, 

also read suggested : https://kantipadam.blogspot.com/2010/07/pranayamam.html 

and

https://kantipadam.blogspot.com/search?q=The+minister+pulling+  

Points to understand the post "

"They never waste time in such idle questions and talk. They put their time and thus their life to good use – every single time!" - idle talk both external and internal causes pain, waste of time and energy....time is precious. Once lost, it can't be regained. Put your time to only good use. Every successful man invested his time in productive things only. And once you become successful to stay there you need to be extra careful on this issue.

"And are we comfortable with that?" - Only a person who is not afraid of others reading his thoughts is GOOD PERSON. All others think they are and assume so. That's why they are ever eager to project a 'good image'. Our thoughts are in our control. Let's drive them towards right direction. Let's not have anything to be ashamed of our thoughts. Then, only then will be become comfortable looking at them and being with ourselves. 

Me, My Guru - On life and death – III!

 

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Me, My Guru - On life and death – III!

5.The difference in benefit received from student to student depended solely on their attitude and intent. Procedure being the same gave different results to each depending upon his level of consciousness. And we asked “ma’am, if such miracles happen to her, why can’t my simple wish be fulfilled?”

Our Guru just smiled and left. Though we understood a lot, I knew we didn’t understand it all! We needed to understand it better and for that we had to go within and we had to heal ourselves more!

For now, we decided to work on our fear and attitude of postponing everything. Other things can wait – for now!

Concluded.....

***  

# life and death, living life, make moments count, long life, meaningful life, full of life, life, death, problems and solutions, inevitable and how to face them, suffering is optional, 

Me, My Guru - On life and death – III!

 

Contd....

Me, My Guru - On life and death – III!

Having no choice, the student monk agreed. Next day, before leaving for bhiksha, he sat in meditation and commanded his mind to express only noble thoughts. Then becoming witness to his thoughts he started walking towards his area of seeking bhiksha. Having no thoughts to disturb him, he was blissful the entire day. He completed his bhiksha as instructed by the Great One and returned to the monastery. When Buddha asked him about his experience, he replied “The Great One! I was in bliss the whole day. No thoughts, nothing! It was bliss. Thank-you!”

Buddha smiled and replied “Just continue doing this and you’ll soon heal all your karma and be blessed with Enlightenment”.

This student too went and sat beside the student who had gone silent when Buddha declared his death”.

Our Guru looked at us as she waited for her tea. We sipped our tea in silence. We were processing the story. We were trying to fit it in our life.

Contd....

# life and death, living life, make moments count, long life, meaningful life, full of life, life, death, problems and solutions, inevitable and how to face them, suffering is optional, 

also read suggested : 

: https://kantipadam.blogspot.com/2016/03/the-story-of-dragonfly.html 

and

https://kantipadam.blogspot.com/2016/03/the-story-of-dragonfly_30.html 

and

https://kantipadam.blogspot.com/2016/03/the-story-of-dragonfly_31.html

and

https://kantipadam.blogspot.com/2016/04/the-story-of-dragonfly.html