Humko kis ke gham ne maara – Ghulam Ali Sahab – Writer Masroor Anwar

 

Contd.......

Point to note: Read this poem tens of times.....listen to it more number of times...understand it and then come back to this explanation........don't let LAZINESS win and read it before-hand...........

Humko kis ke gham ne maara – Ghulam Ali Sahab – Writer Masroor Anwar

Meaning :

It is so beautifully said here - The wounds of one's heart never gives peace to the person. The reason is not that we GOT WOUNDED. The reason is that we REVISE our wounds with every excuse - here it is beautifully told as "whenever the breeze blows my pain surfaces". It is a conscious effort on our part. What happens to us is "Karma" - that we don't have control over. But, we let one incident, person, desire to become so powerful that we remind ourselves of our 'long lost pain' again and again with the slightest excuse. 

There is no respite to our pain till we heal it completely!!!

It is common for all to cry over things that happened or didn't happen as per one's wish. But, here the poet beautifully says that "My pain is not that you broke my heart but that you took so long to break it". This is the turning point in every person's life when he is ready to break free from his suffering. This attitude and perspective is the one that FREES the person from ALL HIS SUFFERING. It is ultimately the PAIN that holds the key to release from pain! How poetic and how profoundly true! 

We are ever in the business of show-casing or casting the other person as "VILLAIN" be it relative, friend, Guru, God or lover. The day we put it aside and say "Who broke my heart is not that important now - let's discuss that on a later day - for now, let's just concentrate on my pain and heart break" we will find the path that leads us to spirituality! This is the ONLY path to spirituality! 

We are so hell bent on knowing the cause of our pain - why it happened, who is responsible, why they did etc etc. But, the poet says "Do not ask me the cause of my pain, your name would pop up" meaning - we don't even give it a thought that even I could have caused pain to the other while all the time showing my so-called respect, concern or fake gratitude to that person. That's why he says in the city of friends, not even one came forward to help him. People are just fake. All who talk don't live up to in the time of an emergency.

When a stranger hurts us, we can easily shrug it off. But when the pain is given by the one whom we love, trust and care about, then that pain is so immense that it breaks us. But it is exactly that kind of hatred and pain that also releases us from all other bondages. When we break down and call out to help - we expect help from all those whom we expect would come running to our aid - but when it is not met, when the same people don't rise to the occasion, then that truth hits us hard and we see through all the masks and lies we were telling/living with ourselves. We face our reality for what it is. That, my dear is the first step towards knowing yourself!

The love is nothing but a game of gamble. We pay the price of loyalty and yet lose. Who is to say who won and who lost in this game? Let's keep that for another day!

There is no lose to the person who has loved and been loyal. There is no lose to the person who has been RIGHT AND ACTED ACCORDING TO DHARMA. But this "hisaab" is for another day!

# shayaari, on love, losing everything to gain all, everything has a purpose, spiritual awakening, breakdown situation that becomes break through situation, cause of pain and suffering in our life, role of pain in our life, life situations and the way to look at them, perspective and attitude that can change pain into manna from heaven, all that's painful is not bad, pain can be the just right thing for us to wake up, path to abundance, path of pain leads sometimes to ever lasting life,

The shayaari can not be explained fully if it is understood by a person. Only a fraction of the understanding can be shared depending upon the level of the hearer. That is both the sadness and pitiful state of the one who understands it. Many get just the words. But who has lived it finds solace to his pain and heart in these words. But then, that is only for the blessed few!

I say it all in few words of the poet and yet the meaning is not grasped by the one to whom it is addressed. The dialogue though complete remains unheard! 

Recipe for happiness!

 

Recipe for happiness!

Don’t make everything about YOU!

Stop seeing “What’s in that for ME?” always!

Don’t keep looking for excuses to make yourself “a victim”.

 

And then, just like that – you’ll have people appreciating you, liking you, being there for you. And even when you weren’t searching for it, “happiness is there for you”.

 

Such a simple recipe and yet, so difficult for all to follow and benefit!!??

 

I wonder why?

******

# victim mentality, empowerment, challenges of life, character, our choices, life is beautiful, everything happens for a reason, 

also read previous post https://kantipadam.blogspot.com/2018/02/old-woman-with-rice-stories-and-all.html

Me, My guru – working of Karma noted in a real-life situation!

 

Contd....

Me, My guru – working of Karma noted in a real-life situation!

So you see, one who repented changed for the better. The others, they spoiled their karma all through and they had to reap the consequences of their evil deeds even in their next janmas to come” So saying our Guru left to receive her all.

We got our answers. These were live examples. How can we not accept them? And I understood one thing today – we didn’t seek justice. We sought revenge. And that’s why all these years we kept arguing with her. If it was justice, yes it was meted by karma. But revenge was personal, so we never were satisfied with her explanation. The problem was not in her explanation. It was in our perception, want, attitude. Can we change it or not is a different question? Do we want to outgrow it or not was the question we needed to dig deep into and find answers to! But that was not to happen today!!!

Concluded......

Can be continued with further case studies if and only if you participate with your observations/understandings/ 

If and only if I find any of you sharing your observations, understandings and what you have noticed in your life - in similar cases, will I come up with newer case studies......

                                                              ******   

# me, my guru series, karma, you receive what you give, fate and destiny, destiny, as you sow so you reap, everything happens for a reason, 

read suggested https://kantipadam.blogspot.com/2016/06/on-receiving_26.html

What did you understand from this case study?

What do these case studies tell you about karma?

What is our role in etching our karma?

What happens to us is because of what we have done in the past. How do we safeguard our future karma with present actions?

Me, My guru – working of Karma noted in a real-life situation!

 

Contd....

Me, My guru – working of Karma noted in a real-life situation!

The elder one was misunderstood by her family and relatives. They considered her to be ‘wrong one’ and talked ill of her. But the elder daughter never opened her mouth to explain about her mother’s character or the deeds of her brother and sister. Her sister and brother snatched all the gold and money from their parents. They troubled them in various ways till the painful end came to that old couple. They lived in hell every day thanks to their dear son and daughter. This is the karma of having ‘moham’ (attachment) to the wrong type of kid. 

Just before death, the old couple sought forgiveness from the elder daughter for spoiling her life and name. They begged their elder daughter to be born to them in the next life too for they said “Even in next life, our son and daughter are going to be equally vicious and bad. They are going to create hell for us. Please be born to us to protect us from them and to hide the wrongs and their misdeeds as you did this life”.

The elder daughter laughed and said “If I had been sincere in taking care of you, then God will never allow me to be your daughter ever” She was not bitter but she was not ready to walk the same hell for no apparent reason. She chose not to give her word to them.

Contd....

# me, my guru series, karma, you receive what you give, fate and destiny, destiny, as you sow so you reap, everything happens for a reason, 

read suggested https://kantipadam.blogspot.com/2018/08/bhagavatam-krishna-answers-king_29.html

If forgiveness is sought in private when the character assassination was done in pubic, does it count?

What would be the effect of such forgiveness?

Were the old couple really sorry for what they did? What do you think?

Was the daughter being selfish and arrogant in not promising them to be their daughter in the next life?

What do you think of such a daughter? Was her action acceptable?

Me, My guru – working of Karma noted in a real-life situation!

 

Contd....

Me, My guru – working of Karma noted in a real-life situation!

In the above case, I saw something beautiful. The second son repented what he had done to his elder brother, and sought forgiveness (genuinely). He was a changed man now. His heart had become pure with regret and shame. He faced the downs of life with equipoise and so healed his karma. His nature became purer over the years.

But, the eldest daughter-in-law kept the fire of hatred and resentment alive all these years. She kept marketing her ‘victimhood’ to all and sundry. Of course, people pitied her and felt she had suffered a lot in life. But, the hatred in her was eating her away from within. Because she was feeding hatred, it became huge. It demanded a victim on which it could direct its poison. The woman found her elder daughter suitable for this. She vented all her hatred on her elder daughter. She felt only her second daughter and son were her own. She started spreading rumours about her elder daughter. But, her elder daughter was calm and kept supporting her physically, emotionally, financially and even spiritually till the end without expecting anything from her mother. She didn’t even carry any anger towards her mother.

In the meantime, the mother developed tumour and had to be operated. It was found to be ‘just before cancer stage’. But, a few years down the lane, she developed cancer and doctors gave up on her. It was again her elder daughter who came to her rescue and stood by her – by way of finding the right doctor, arranging money and everything. She was cured of cancer but it did eat her organs away. Her heart was enlarged. She developed multiple complications and lived with them for the next couple of decades. She enjoyed life. But, her bitterness increased and she would find new ways to torture her elder daughter. One by one her organs started deteriorating. This is the ‘karma’ of troubling the ‘right one’. (Read the link to understand how supporting the wrong kid by a parent out of 'moham' attachment brings pain and suffering to the parent and to the entire clan https://kantipadam.blogspot.com/2014/05/draupadi-mahabharata_18.html )

Contd....

# me, my guru series, karma, you receive what you give, fate and destiny, destiny, as you sow so you reap, everything happens for a reason, 

read suggested https://kantipadam.blogspot.com/2022/02/me-my-guru-as-you-like-it_02093677279.html 

What do you think of the daughter-in-law and her feelings? How right was she in her feelings and how right was karma in treating her so?

What do you think of the daughter?

How do you understand 'a mother' who behaves so?

Me, My guru – working of Karma noted in a real-life situation!

 

In continuation of ...........https://kantipadam.blogspot.com/2024/09/me-my-guru-working-of-karma-noted-in.html 

Contd....

Me, My guru – working of Karma noted in a real-life situation!

Our Guru continued with explaining how karma dealt with people giving us some case studies. "II case: In a certain family, the eldest son was not liked by anyone except the father. So, when the father died, they made him sign a will relinquishing his rights. Years rolled by. His mother suffered multiple surgeries and was bedridden for 2 years. Her daughter whom she considered the whole world didn’t come to even see her once. Her second son at 70 yrs is working to run the family. All the riches washed away faster than they received. They experienced only poverty. What’s the use of usurping others' rights? You’ll end up not being able to enjoy a penny of it.

Such are the cases and many more too! Whenever I see, if I wait for 10-20 years, I see karma coming back. People pay back. Some realize and repent. Many don’t. those who repent change for the better. Their attitudes get transformed and they would’ve developed some very good divine qualities and lost or diluted their asuric nature. Others who don’t realize this suffer more and more.

They become more bitter and amass so much negativity from people in their lives. They become so lonely. They lived in hell! Because they don’t realize karma doesn’t get healed or exhausted in spite of having faced the consequences. They sow more karma with resentment and bitterness. The vicious cycle continues and that is ‘living in hell endlessly’! 

Contd....

# me, my guru series, karma, you receive what you give, fate and destiny, destiny, as you sow so you reap, everything happens for a reason, 

read suggested https://kantipadam.blogspot.com/2019/07/blessing-that-turned-into-curse-me-my_27.html 

read the complete link to understand many aspects of karma....

come back with your understandings, observations and your feelings...

what did you understand from the case study?

On Comment: further to https://kantipadam.blogspot.com/2024/09/me-my-guru-working-of-karma-noted-in_0700808946.html?showComment=1728390305654 comment of Mona, this post addresses that question......

also read https://kantipadam.blogspot.com/2014/04/mahabharata.html the complete link to get the answer .......

others can share your experiences and observations if any on same.....

Me, My guru – working of Karma noted in a real life situation!

 

Contd....

Me, My guru – working of Karma noted in a real life situation!

Points to understand the post:

"We thought she would quote Rama, Krishna and we would counter that.

We had our argument against forgiveness and yet she didn’t go there. We were prepared to attack those and such explanations but here she was talking something completely different from what we expected." See here – the students are already having reasons to forgive the wrongdoer. They also had been explained how karma works based on Itihaasa (History of Vedic culture). And they had come prepared to counter all that if told. It means students don’t ask questions to which they don’t have answers – many times. They know the answers. They want validation for their venting and emotions. They come to sell their line of thinking to the Guru. No doubt, they go back angry when Guru doesn’t buy their ‘reasons’.

Ask yourself “Why do I ask questions? What is it that I am seeking?” be honest in your effort in seeking answers. Don’t fool yourself.

Your honesty will open the doors of heaven for you!

Your honesty will make you courageous.

Your honesty will make you fearless.

Your honesty will release you from your bondage and karma!

 

Let’s understand this with some exercise.

I’ll give one real-life example at a time.

I want you people to see how this example applies to your life situations.

In what way does this example help you to understand how the lives of those around you in impacted by this “law of karma”. Not every time we’ll be able to see it happen in our life. It is too personal for us to note that. But, in the joy of finding pain and seeking revenge for others, we notice these things happening in others' lives.

Share your stories – real life ones to validate the ‘law of karma’. How you have seen this law operate in and around your life.

When the number of stories is good enough to run home this point, I’ll share one more example – a real-life one – and then the exercise will continue. This way let’s learn it as we read about these cases.

If I don't receive feedback - enough of it from your end, then this topic will not be discussed further......

Contd....

# Me My guru series, karma, everything happens for a reason, as you sow so you reap, on receiving and giving, good and bad deeds, the effect of our actions and deeds,

also read suggested https://kantipadam.blogspot.com/2020/08/few-faqs-with-guru.html 

any questions or doubts?

Me, My guru – working of Karma noted in a real life situation!

 

Contd....

Me, My guru – working of Karma noted in a real life situation!

Our Guru continued “It is very simple. I’ll give you a few real-life examples. Listen and understand for yourself how karma acts and comes back.

Though these examples are real, this is not the only way karma works every time. These examples are not to be taken as a whole. This is one of the ways karma works. That’s how you are to understand it.

1st case: Recently, one girl came to me regretting a lot. She said “30 years back you told me not to marry this guy against my parents’ wish. I didn’t listen to you. I left the house without my parent’s permission and knowledge and got married. Now, my daughter ran away to an ashram and stated that she’ll not come back home. We pleaded and agreed to all her conditions to bring her back from that ashram. The conditions were:

You’ll let me do whatever I want to do. You’ll not stop me from pursuing my career.

I hate marriage thanks to you people. I’ll never marry. You’ll not force me to.

I hate my mom. I don’t want her to interact with me – ever!

Now, I’ve understood the pain I’ve given to my parents with my actions then. I am receiving what I gave. This is my karma coming back. I know this is nothing when compared to all the pain of my past actions. Now, I want to restart and learn Reiki. I want to start healing once again – this time not for any material benefit but sincerely to heal all the pain I’ve given to all – including you”

I am sure this is clear enough for you to understand how karma works. It may take time but it strikes at ‘the right time’ and through ‘the right means’.

Contd....

# Me My guru series, karma, everything happens for a reason, as you sow so you reap, on receiving and giving, good and bad deeds, the effect of our actions and deeds,

also read suggested https://kantipadam.blogspot.com/2020/03/bhaktha-and-his-bhakti-guru-shishya-my.html 

read the complete post though link given takes you to the start of the article only....at the end of the post is "Older posts ...Newer Posts" - click newer post and the next day post continues....

many questions regarding karma is answered in these posts.....

Points to understand the post in the next post contd....

Me, My guru – working of Karma noted in a real life situation!

 

Me, My guru – working of Karma noted in a real life situation!

Today, the topic was hot – how bad people got away with their deeds. Most of us were exchanging the wrongs done to us with each other. And we all found one thing in common – that the wrongdoers roamed scot-free. That pained us a lot. If we share this information with our Guru she would say something like “Forgive them or move on. She’ll ask us to concentrate on building our lives”. But today, we didn’t want that lecture. We just wanted justice. We wanted them to suffer for their wrongdoings. Wouldn’t that be a lesson for all not to commit such crimes? Well, at least that was our line of argument.

Prepared to meet her logic and suggestions we dared to ask the question “Guruji, why do you believe that karma works? Because, all around we see people enjoying their lives inspite of them hurting, cheating, manipulating, lying and poisoning others’ lives. Where is justice? How can you say that karma is justice-based?” asked Sanjay.

“Simply because I’ve seen it in umpteen cases” replied our Guru.

We thought she would quote Rama, Krishna and we would counter that.

We had our argument against forgiveness and yet she didn’t go there. We were prepared to attack those and such explanations but here she was talking something completely different from what we expected.

Our Guru continued “It is very simple. I’ll give you a few real-life every time examples. Listen and understand for yourself how karma acts and comes back.

Though these examples are real, this is not the only way karma works every time. These examples are not to be taken as a whole. This is one of the ways karma works. That’s how you are to understand it.

Contd....

# Me My guru series, karma, everything happens for a reason, as you sow so you reap, on receiving and giving, good and bad deeds, the effect of our actions and deeds,

also read suggested https://kantipadam.blogspot.com/2021/04/me-my-guru-soul-identification-its-need.html 

On patience, need to wait for right time - Sant Kabir

 

On patience, need to wait for right time - Sant Kabir

Dheere dheere re manaa

Dheere sab kuch hoye

Maali seenche sou ghadaa

Ruthu aaye phal hoye…

धीरे धीरे रे मना 

धीरे सब कुछ होए 

माली सींचे सौ घड़ा 

ऋतु आये फल होए।  

go slow hey heart of mine

for everything in this world happens at its time

gardener may pour 100 pots of water

and yet plants bloom only when the time comes.....

# kabir, patience, everything happens at the appointed time only, destiny and fate, karma, everything happens for a reason, 

also read suggested: https://kantipadam.blogspot.com/2010/01/dear-heart-and-mind-of-mine-please-have.html 

and also 

https://kantipadam.blogspot.com/search?q=Boy%3A+%E2%80%98Naam+batati+kya%E2%80%99%3F+%28May+I+know+your+name%3F%29 

Question time:

What did you understand from this doha of Kabir?

Where to apply in life?

Teachers everywhere – On stopped clock!

 

Teachers everywhere – On stopped clock! 

This explanation is in continuation of the post https://kantipadam.blogspot.com/2023/09/teachers-everywhere-on-stopped-clock.html. We can take quite a few understanding from this. Few of you have already given a few understandings.  I am just adding a few more to them:

1.           The clock was working but not the pendulum: Didn’t even notice the slot available to make the pendulum work – wow! And yet, was irritated, adjusting (in my mind), suffering its non-working all these years!

    Are we not so even in our lives? Are we aware of little corrections that need to be done – to overcome our complaints and suffering? Are we looking at the problem to solve it or just to cry about its existence?

  
 The same can be applied in relationships and other aspects of our life…

 

2.             Clock still, pendulum working:  

             a. Pendulum represents the external factors and Clock represents us. In spite of external factors pushing us to change, we are not moving in that direction. We are stuck in spite of the situation giving us a push from outside. So, what are the situations in our life that are pushing us to become a better person?  We are for some reason not changing, why? We are stuck here! Just look! And unstuck yourself to grow to be a better version of yourself.

 

                                                                 OR

b.
it could also mean – that Time is still in spite of the pendulum moving continuously. “The Atman” is ever still, constant, unmoved in spite of all the ‘moving around’ or activities happening in this world/of this world. Get connected to that Brahman and transcend Time! Meditate on this and overcome ‘Time’ which expresses itself as age, decay, change, and death in our lives. We can become or reach that state of ‘Stillness’ in spite of what goes around in our lives!

Look for teachers and you’ll find them in abundance. Be a student – that’s all that is needed to find a ‘good teacher’. But, demand and you lose the one in your life too!

***    

# lessons learnt through life, everything happens for a reason, teachers everywhere, 

Read also https://kantipadam.blogspot.com/search?q=understanding 

Questions addressed and points to be taken:

• Life is a great teacher. It can teach through anything and everything. Am I attending this School and benefitting from it?
• A person who is open learns more than a person who is not!
• A person who has healed more becomes more open minded and open hearted!
• A person who is regular would have healed enough to change his level of understanding!
• A person who has trust will be a regular!
• One may not have trust but if he is at least has had enough of pain and suffering in his life and desires STRONGLY to move away from his present state of existence to a better place would heal.
• A person who has used his INTELLIGENCE and has done everything in his power to change and control the situation comes to healing with no other go and sticks to it for he is lost on options!

Hope your questions are answered!