Me, My Guru – On attachments, faith and commitments....
“This is a child’s game” thought the sweeper”.
I had come when the session was already in progress. Initially, I would
create lots of noise taking out and adjusting my papers, drinking water and
with such activities. I would even say ‘hi, hello’ to everyone. Now I’ve come a
long way from then. I would go and silently sit at the back. Today I can see how
insensitively selfish was I! Now I don’t create pandemonium to go front. Of late, I’ve
even stopped asking others as to what I missed. If I came late, I didn’t deserve
to disturb others with my ‘assumed eagerness to learn’. So today I didn’t know
how and when the session started and in what relation was this story being told
by her (our Guru). Yet, I didn’t feel the need to as I sat silently listening
to her today. She may have said it from other angle for all I know but I got my
answers for my questions which remained so inspite of being answered so many
times.
“Why didn’t I have the innocence of that sweeper?” I asked myself umpteen
numbers of times that day and in the days to come. I was the one to go to God
ONLY SEEKING and demanding or complaining about something or the other. But I never
for once felt bad for GOD! Yes, wouldn’t HE be vexed of hearing our cribbing,
hate words, angry bickering, our cries and what not? Wouldn’t he be tired? Wouldn’t
His ears ache with all those words? Wouldn’t He want to run away from all of
us? Yet He never did! Was this ‘Love’ that I didn’t get to see and validate all
these years? Was deep in selfishness was I wallowing to be so ‘me-centric’?
Why did I never ‘do’ anything to work for Him to relax?
Contd.....
1 comment:
My understanding
1. I always cry about my own problems complaining about them with my mother I never once thought about her how selfish of me because when she came to stay with me I understood how much she was doing for the family by supporting all of us me from a distance and my brother by being with them infact both my parents . One day if she is not at home the entire household is a mess .
2. Then I understood each one is going through their own package or life they have their own problems but seeing only one part of their life and judging is not correct .
3. I got what I got because it is what I deserve or in a way I have asked for
4. Many a times in my life I have seen that in many situations I did not get what I wanted example material things I have observed it that if I truly needed it even though I did nit get it when I wished it I got it at the time which was right . The things that I did not get initially I used ti be angry , jealous but at later point many a times I realised if I had it I didn’t even know how to use it .
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