Tuesday, June 13, 2017

Me, my Guru On assigning values ...



Contd......

Me, my Guru



On assigning values ...


Right and in relationships if we apply we can see that the person is valued not for what he is worth, but for what and how he is used by the other in his life. The stone was valued by each one based on it’s utility in his life, where only the ‘precious stone seller’ knew its real worth and fell flat on ground and confessed “I can’t assign value to it”. Similarly, people value their relationships based on how much their utility is there in their life. And that’s why Priya your husband considers you a ‘bad wife’ for not keeping house clean not because for whom you are but because he knows to assign value to you only
on the expectations that you have met of him. Nothing more, nothing less! For all you know, you may be a saint but that doesn’t mean anything to him. ‘You are good only as long as you fulfill my expectations’ is the keyword that governs all relationships. Hence, people tend to hurt ‘good and right’ people in their life because they haven’t fulfilled their expectations and demands. The fault is not of the other. It is the ‘character’ of assignee which is faulty!”


We all fell silent and took a tea break. We went within to check on all these. It was so true! How many times we much have said “as a wife etc it’s your duty to do it etc etc”. We demanded people to fit into our baggage of expectations because that eased our lives. They were never important to us. it was ‘my comfort, my likes, expectations, wishes and my prestige’ that mattered. The other person hardly mattered. And we wondered why never experienced love in our lives! How could we? As long people were to fill our needs how could we experience their real worth? And till I saw them for what they are, how could I love them?

very well explained)


I ‘love’ only when ‘her’ mere presence is enough in my life! As long as I look for ‘what is her benefit if she doesn’t fulfil or play this role this way?’, how can I see the ‘kohinoor’ of the person that is! Never, no doubt I suffer in marriage and come home crying everyday thinking ‘she hasn’t cleaned the house!

With simple examples the whole of facts shone clearly in front of us! we saw ourselves for what we were and how we lived our relationships and life and to think that the one who was hurting was the one complaining! What an irony?


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