Contd......
“Right and
in relationships if we apply we can see that the person is valued not for what he is
worth, but for what and how he is used by the other in his life. The stone was
valued by each one based on it’s utility in his life, where only the ‘precious stone seller’
knew its real worth and fell flat on ground and confessed “I can’t assign value
to it”. Similarly, people value their relationships based on how much their
utility is there in their life. And that’s why Priya your husband considers you
a ‘bad wife’ for not keeping house clean not because for whom you are but
because he knows to assign value to you only
on the expectations that you have
met of him. Nothing more, nothing less! For all you know, you may be a saint
but that doesn’t mean anything to him. ‘You are good only as long as you fulfill my expectations’ is the keyword that governs all relationships. Hence, people
tend to hurt ‘good and right’ people in their life because they haven’t
fulfilled their expectations and demands. The fault is not of the other. It is
the ‘character’ of assignee which is faulty!”
We all fell silent and took a
tea break. We went within to check on all these. It was so true! How many times
we much have said “as a wife etc it’s your duty to do it etc etc”. We demanded
people to fit into our baggage of expectations because that eased our lives.
They were never important to us. it was ‘my comfort, my likes, expectations,
wishes and my prestige’ that mattered. The other person hardly mattered. And we
wondered why never experienced love in our lives! How could we? As long people were to fill our
needs how could we experience their real worth? And till I saw them for what
they are, how could I love them?
very well explained)
I ‘love’ only when ‘her’ mere
presence is enough in my life! As long as I look for ‘what is her benefit if
she doesn’t fulfil or play this role this way?’, how can I see the ‘kohinoor’
of the person that is! Never, no doubt I suffer in marriage and come home
crying everyday thinking ‘she hasn’t cleaned the house!
With simple examples the whole
of facts shone clearly in front of us! we saw ourselves for what we were and
how we lived our relationships and life and to think that the one who was
hurting was the one complaining! What an irony?
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