Work on essence

...contd.....

When she concluded everyone nodded their heads. I suspected that they did it more out of courtesy and respect than acceptance of what she said. I could see vaguely what she was driving at. But, it didn’t sink in. I’ll is on it for sometime but am not sure if I’ll accept this line of her thought completely. Honestly I felt, she with her oratory skills was justifying her actions. I didn’t know if it really was true!

I was in no mood to discuss it with others – atleast not now! Like it has happened many times before, I held on to my beliefs and rules inspite of ‘her’ explanation against them. I was ‘too much’ into this ‘belief system’ and it wasn’t easy to just brush aside that with one talk and take to this new line of thought! No. It was not to be so.

Would I ever break away from this belief-system? I don’t know and can’t say for sure now. As far as I am concerned, it looks almost an impossible possibility!

I had held on so strongly to this belief system that it had today shaken my ‘respect and regards’ for ‘her’. I didn’t see it as me trading ‘her’ for my ‘belief system’. But instead, I think I was shattered that ‘she’ didn’t fit into my ‘mould of Guru’. To an extent, I felt let down by her. And I think the pain of ‘her’ falling down the ‘pedestal’ I had put her on. She didn’t fall alone. Along with her fell my ‘expectations’ of her. Something of me also felt like a failure. To whom I lost, I knew not. But this feeling was so strong that it sort of made me feel the knots in my stomach.

With her, came down a part of my world too! Oh how I hated her for letting me down.

I hadn’t realized how much she had become a part of me. I sensed it only when that was being torn apart from me.

I left ‘her’ place with heavy and broken heart. Would I ever be able to mend it again, I wondered!

But now all I sought was some solace and solitude!

 

concluded..... 



Read related posts for further clarification "http://kantipadam.blogspot.in/search?q=judging 

 

Work on essence

...contd....

One colour or a mode of dressing shouldn’t bind me. If it does, I would be a ritualistic person but certainly not a spiritual one. Because, spirituality means breaking belief systems, freeing oneself from the ‘set image’ of self – be it perceived by self or others. If I feel I am a ‘good person’, ‘religious or spiritual person’ only if I stick to certain code of dressing, then I’ll never be free in any sense.

Why do we usually stick to certain code of dressing? Because, it’ll project a ‘set image’ about us to others and because it is an accepted norm of dressing in the society that we want to fit in. But, many times people want to dress other-wise and long to but because of familial and social pressures suppress their desires. In the process, they nurture anger, hatred and malice towards people who are to live their desires. And their anger and negativity comes out as insult, taunt or sarcasm about the person who dares to live ‘their’ desires. 

 

In short, Clothing is the best form of 'disguise' we use to hide our true selves! So beware!

Is not ‘rose’ by any other name still a ‘rose’ true?

Then ‘Me’ in any form of dressing is still ‘me’. Isn’t it?

Don’t be fooled by the packaging. Look into the ‘Essence’. As Kabirdas says

Jaathi na pooch sadhu ki

Pooch lijiye gyan,

Mol karo talwari ka

Pada rahane do myan..

जाती ना पूछो साधू की 

पूछ लीजिये ज्ञान 

मोल करो तलवारी का 

पडा रहने दो म्यान 

Don’t ask a ‘sadha’ (ascetic) what his caste is,

Ask him of the knowledge that he has,

It’s the sword that fetches the price

And not the case that’s considered while purchasing a sword.

...contd.....

Read related posts for further clarification "http://kantipadam.blogspot.in/search?q=knowing
 

Work on Essence

Work on Essence and Leave the Physicality!

Me, My Guru

“Yesterday, I saw you at Narayanguda X roads” I said in a not so certain voice from behind her. She was pruning her plants and I stood just a little afar.

“Mmhoon” was the only sound she made and she didn’t even turn her head as she uttered that sound.

“I saw you driving” I added almost certain that she would turn around now hearing me say that.

“mmm” still only a sound.

“I also saw that you were wearing jeans and t-shirt” I finished almost blurting those words. I waited for her reaction. She completed her pruning and turned and simply said “Ok” as a matter of fact. I had expected to see her bit worried or in fear. I expected any reaction but this cold ‘okay’ and ‘mm’ from her. But she continued her job with her usual stance and grace as if I didn’t exist or as if what I said didn’t matter.

I had expected this ‘shocked’ expression from her but it was I who was in that state now.

I couldn’t digest the entire episode and hence was struggling in my silence.

It was when we were having tea that I blurted it out to Rahul. He laughed and asked “You expected her to be shocked and frightened? What for? Do you think she is a criminal in a hiding afraid of being recognised and caught? Why would you expect her to be shocked of you having seen her on some road?” He was laughing all through these questions. I was both angry and confused now. Angry that he found the whole episode so amusing when I was actually suffering so much because of it and confused that he didn’t find it odd – i mean even after what I told him about her.

He was still laughing when ‘she’ joined us and with a look a smile she asked “What happened?” No words exchanged but her expression was so pregnant with that question that Rahul blurted out “You have confused this poor soul with your driving skills and attire”.

“Oh!”she said smiling “Is it true?” she asked immediately.

“Well, sort of” I said almost in a whisper. May be it came out as whining, I don’t know but she too had joined Rahul in laughing. I felt so stupid now. Well other had joined us by then and she started her talk “If an attire decides ones ‘spirituality’ and ‘nature’ then people wearing colours decided for ‘sanyasi’ and ‘God-men’ couldn’t be more right. They would automatically become ‘good and genuine Gurus or Preachers’. But it was not so! So many Gurus’ of Ashrams spread in various countries had been exposed of the scandals they were involved in! They were wearing the ‘cloth’ assigned to ‘God Men’ and yet they with their behaviour proved otherwise! Colour of dress or attire doesn’t define ‘ME”. It just serves the purpose of clothing my body. Period! Its utility ends there. It has no connotation on my ‘character’. 

Just imagine! If character could be expressed through attire, then we don’t need so much of healing techniques. We just have to ‘clothe’ people – all people in a certain way and lo! Their character would be changed to ‘good ones’ instantly. If only things were so simple!

...contd....

Worm and the elephant - Me, My Guru

...contd....

Worm needs just a little amount of feed, but an elephant, can it survive on that amount of food? How much more it needs to struggle just to struggle.

Elephant gets killed for ivory. Have you heard of a worm killed for its teeth?

Man domesticates elephant and how it is abused! Poor being!

Ever heard of worm trained to do ‘circus tricks’ or carry ‘weights’ or ‘people’?

Elephants are hunted and worms.......

How can a worm be compared to an elephant?

How can a worm understand the beauty and grandeur of an elephant?

Only an achiever knows what an achiever went through to be there. An onlooker can be an expert in commenting on how the game needs to be played, but only player knows how to play.

अजी जाइए बहुत देखें हैं बातें करने वाले 

बातें करने वाले कहाँ काम किया करते हैं !

 

Aji jaayiye bahut dekhe hai batein karne wale

Batein karne wale kahan kaam kiya karthe hai

I have seen many who talk a lot

And everyone knows that people who talk hardly work...

(barking dogs seldom bite)"

He finished with ‘her’ quotes.

I learnt a lot today. It is senseless to compare and feel let down.

No two situations are same.

Don’t judge anyone for you don’t know what they are going through or gone through.

Many questions are redundant. Instead seek an understanding from every event or person to drop all that is irrelevant and develop questions that make you a winner.

Don’t know when those worms would become butterflies, but i did get metamorphosized today with the shedding of some stupidity! 

Concluded.....

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