on taking decisions

…..contd……….

Some of the posts for which I have given the dates you need to read the previous posts and the latter ones too to understand the complete explanation……take time to read all of them and follow the instructions if you want the solution. But, if you want someone else to take a decision on your behalf well, that doesn’t work that way here….and what decision others are taking is inacceptable to you….so remember every decision in life will come with pros and cons for sure….and no decision can show its repercussions in toto to us today….so all that we can do is based on our expectations and desire, take a decision in the best of our interest and to the best of our abilities and go ahead and face the consequences what ever they be……

My favourite line while taking a decision is “Unless I take a decision and walk on it, how will I know whether I was right or wrong. And everytime, I have been proved wrong in taking decision, I said to myself “atleast now I know why it’s not right for me” because if I hadn’t walked this path I would be living with a regret that may be I would have been better off on this path than the other…..for me regret of not having ‘done something’ is more bigger than living with the pain of ‘wrong decision’ always! That’s my mantra for life! You have to decide yours for yourself! No other person can do that for you – now or never……..

The Road Not Taken

By Robert Frost

 

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,

And sorry I could not travel both

And be one traveler, long I stood

And looked down one as far as I could

To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair,

And having perhaps the better claim,

Because it was grassy and wanted wear;

Though as for that the passing there

Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay

In leaves no step had trodden black.

Oh, I kept the first for another day!

Yet knowing how way leads on to way,

I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh

Somewhere ages and ages hence:

Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—

I took the one less traveled by,

And that has made all the difference.

Me, My Guru - On quitting

...contd....

Coming to this lady, I couldn’t figure much from her experience. My doubts were still hanging loose in the air but looking at others I knew she had taken the burden off so many heads.

“Any decision taken has to have both pros and cons and that weighs differently for different people. So you write down your pros and cons in holding on to that ‘bad’ job/career and taking up the ‘risky’ new one. Then assign value to each of those reasons.

For eg. Bad colleague = -50

            Salary                  = +40

Now see if -50 is more painful or less than joy of +40 (salary). Accordingly, take decision. Don’t argue in mind. Because, you’ll end up justifying your decision with such data and over look other important points. Also ask yourself “am I ready to go for the unknown?”

Am I comfortable with the unknown than the known devil?

We all live with two major regrets in life – chances not taken and moments not lived.

Just remember, its’ your life and either way you’ve to live with the consequences. So, would you be courageous enough to take the leap of faith or stay safe with the known pain? Your decision decides your fate!

Every change, decision will bring about changed scenario into picture and will throw up new challenges. Are you or do you want to jump and get wet in the flow of life or sit safe ashore? Decision depends upon your attitude and priority. Just remember, either way don’t compare with others and crib, envy or cry. Embrace your decisions and see how to make the most of it. At the most if later day you realize it was wrong decision, it was wrong decision, take responsibility for it, take charge of your life and make necessary changes to move on. Just don’t sit there and cry “I wanted it to work and even this failed. Why God, why me?” Be a man, own it, learn from it and use it to drive you towards a new beginning. It’s never end of the road. It’s always just the ‘bend’ in the road. Just remember that!”

Having said this she again rushed to receive her call. Her calls were becoming more frequent now. But, we used those breaks for tea, lunch or discussion thanks to Rahul’s initiative.

...contd....

Road not taken

…contd….

So, this fear shouldn’t stop us from making us take decisions. It doesn’t mean you tell me “thanks maam, I wanted to take to drugs since long but was afraid of consequences.” No, I am not talking about such of decisions which are clearly and loudly detrimental to your welfare. I am talking only about such of decisions that you wanted to take but are undeciding because of ‘fear of failure’ like

·         Getting married

·         Taking a break

·         Learning something

·         Talk to someone/ in public

·         Take a vacation

·         Making friends

·         Buying a house etc

We are afraid and confused with ‘what ifs’.

What if it doesn’t work out?

What if I get a better option?

What if I can’t continue and people laugh at me/ rebuke me/ make fun of me?

 

Just remember that there is no guarantee that the other option would work too. This hasn’t worked out true! But that doesn’t mean the other option would.

The road not taken  - By Robert frost

 

…contd….

Me, my Guru – on heaven and hell

Contd........

Me, my Guru – on  heaven and hell

Look at each of your experiences. Although the situations you have faced in life over time are same, the way healing has taken place is different every time. Take relationships for example; - the type of healing taking place affects your relationship, approach, perspective, expectations and is different each time. This changes over the years. So, the healing never ends. It is like an onion. Layer by layer it heals. Layer by layer you see its effect in your life. Healing regularly is the choice you make. And you create one heaven after the other for yourself. One heaven is better than the other. To the one at the starting point though it is difficult to see understand and appreciate, it sure is a fact. Those who have tasted heaven at least in bits and pieces encourage others who are at the starting point still confused, frightened, doubtful as to whether to step into this world of self-healing or not.

Cheer him up at every little step he takes. Encourage him with your past state of mind. Regale him with your experience. Stand by him when he falters in his newly ‘taken steps’. Shout at him if need be – like a mother who shouts at a child who is afraid of riding a bicycle. But let that shout come out of love for him. At the same time don’t let him cling to you. Use your love for him to exploit you to do things for him. Don’t turn him into a human parasite that feeds off others’ love and concern. Don’t create hell for him. Don’t join him there. Make him stand on his feet. Make him self-reliant. Teach him to create heaven for himself. He may swear at you with his ignorance. Don’t bother. You work towards creating heaven for him. Send Reiki to a channel who you think needs to be self-reliant, who needs to look with honesty as his flaws and work on himself. If you expect others to do reiki for you then do for others. By making the road thorn-less for others, you are creating ‘heaven’ of higher degree unto yourself. Let not your wish be verbal. Act on it. You are creating a heaven every time you act on your words. If you just ‘mouth good words’; it is like standing on the shore and wishing to cross the river. Jump into the river – ACT, ACT NOW! 

Be a heaven unto yourself. Be a heaven for others.

Contd........

# hell and heaven, mind, mind games, anger, expectations, conditions, clarity of thought, balance of mind, being stoic, stress, response and reactions, challenges of life

previous posts related to this topic : https://kantipadam.blogspot.com/search?q=he+sued+the+old+man 

Questions addressed : 

• How to create heaven for one's kid?
• How to be a better parent?
• How to create heaven in every relationship?
• How to avoid causing hell for others and self?

Thought for the day :

• At every stage we see the healing addresses the same issue differently.
• It heals the issue at times.
• It heals our perspective some times.
• It heals the way we handle the situation on other times.
• It heals the way we make a wish also.
• It increases our strength and resilience to face a situation.
• It heals our fears, imaginations and anger.
• It develops our trust, confidence and ultimately playfulness.
• No issue goes away from our life till it has taught us everything it has come to teach.
• Life is a hard teacher. It doesn't leave you alone. It goes only when it has completed the job it has been assigned to do - that of teaching you!

Healing Tip :

Instead of asking 'why it happened to me?' try asking 'how do I handle it differently to be in a better state of mind?' 

Me, my Guru – fish and the ascetic

Contd....

Me, my Guru – fish and the ascetic 

Monk had bought fisherman’s logic!

Next day, as he was going about his morning chore he thought about his promise that he made to fisherman of catching fish for him. Even before going to sleep he recollected his promise. He made a mental review of catching those fish. As he was walking towards the lake he saw himself catching fish and putting in fisherman’s bag. He was happy with the picture of bag full of fish he had helped fisherman catch.

When he reached the lake, he saw those fish that he was so used to seeing every day – all these years. He knew it was child’s play to catch those fish today for him! He stepped into the lake. All the fish suddenly swam away! He didn’t notice that though. He got into the water waist high and waited for fish to come near him. Not one fish came near him – today! He was surprised! A little later he tried chasing and catching them. He failed miserably after several attempts too! Now, he got irritated. He swam towards fish to catch them. Yet, he failed – every time. Sometime passed! He became tired. And angry! He felt he had lost his face to the fisherman who believed him. He did all that he could to catch fish. He couldn’t catch even one fish. 

Fisherman was seeing all this standing on the shore. He saw his plan fall flat on the face. He got dejected. He assumed that he had unnecessarily given credit to this monk. He was useless. So he left without saying a word.

Monk saw the fisherman leave. He felt like a failure. He was both confused and angry at these fish. He didn’t understand what went wrong today! Finally, as day came to an end, he left towards his hut. 

Contd....

# intention, desire, lust and love, law of attraction, dharma and adharma, fish and the ascetic in the pond story

also read suggested : https://kantipadam.blogspot.com/search?q=people+we+meet+in+our+life

Pointer in this and previous posts : 

* See the language of the fisherman like "blessed one/great one/ seek your blessings..." etc in the previous post and the present one - it reflects the language of a flatterer - one who desires to get his 'wrong' and 'adharmic' desires to be performed by the other.......sweet talk doesn't mean you respect the person from whom you seek or expect some favour.....sweet talk talks and reflects who you are.........your intention becomes evident in your language and the way you use it.....many times people use words like 'great guru' or 'you are great' just to please the other......don't fall for it.........and don't use it too......work on that need to please others. It comes from the centre which knows the favour we seek is unethical or our character is at flaw. Instead, work on character, look within, meditate, know your areas you are ashamed of, address it, work on it, heal it and become free from wanting to please or flatter others......

*When even the fish gets to know the intent of a person, what to say of the Universe and humans? Think! 

*" Monk felt like a failure" - not being able to fulfill someone's lustful desires doesn't mean we have failed. It reflects who the other person is and what his intentions are! It doesn't reflect who you are! Don't stoop to please the 'wrong desires' of a wrong person......

*Meditate to know what your duties and responsibilities are and only then you will know what is right and what is wrong.....

Thanks through sadhan........

Make a list of people giving you essential services and keep it ready for weekend sadhan - 

milkman,

paper boy

veg. vendor

grocery vendor

cab drivers

auto and public transport men

telephone services

beauty salons

EB

watchman

liftmen

barbers

road sweepers

rag pickers....

you add the ones i left out.......

Miracle of the day : 

I could write even today!

That means -

- there still is body mind coordination

-my hand can still hold a pen

-my mind still can think coherently

- my hand still is capable of typing in the computer

-my eyes working 

-i can still sit to be able to do all this

- i can still write 

- even after 10-12 years of writing this blog, i have still something worth a dime to say and write (and excuse people give to blabber is 'but we have to talk with others something know maam, otherwise it is against social norm' - this shows we can talk for years and still be talking within the framework of something useful, productive, something insightful - all this and yet entertaining and in simple story form!!!)

- so many pointers that i am blessed - that too when only one act of the day is taken into consideration. Can you take 15mts from today till sunday to write down in your journal all the things you still have and you can feel blessed about? Even things and people you take for granted like - my mom is there but that tho everyone's is...ask people who have lost their near ones to time......having someone in your life is not something that you can take for granted.....

i have miracles to share, do you?

Reflections – on living the moment!

 

Contd....

Reflections – on living the moment!

So, you see, at every point in time, when we pick one, we miss out on all others. We suffer ‘what ifs’ of things and opportunities that we missed. Our greed and lust express themselves there. Don’t let them suffocate you. Don’t let them strangle you from enjoying what is within your reach. Don’t be fooled by these ‘attitudes’. They are very smart and powerful. Be aware and alert enough to catch them fooling you.

I couldn’t see all even if I wanted to! So, it is with life. We can’t live all! We can’t have all.

If we choose one profession, the pros of other profession are lost on us. When we chose our life partner, we have this nagging feeling ‘may be I’ll be more happy with the other and better one’. But no! Every person will have positive and negative traits. You may get some positive qualities that the present person/job doesn’t have, but you may also lose on the good traits that the present person/job has when you go for exchange.

So it is with house, sarees, vacations (place of vacation) etc etc…

Contd....

# living in the moment, mindfulness, awareness, beingness, now and here, life is in the present, Il dolce far niente, life, present moment, 

further on this topic: https://kantipadam.blogspot.com/2021/07/being-still.html 

and

https://kantipadam.blogspot.com/2020/08/few-faqs-with-guru_17.html

Question time:

What are the 'what if's' you live with?

Are you sure that the other option that you missed living or choosing would give you 100% happiness and it would be 'pain free'? May be you will find your questions at least few of them answered in the link given:

https://kantipadam.blogspot.com/search?q=the+road+not+taken