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Me, My Guru - on Guru
“Don’t you think woman quote wrong? How are they supposed to take right
lessons from Rama’s life and its situations?” asked one among us.
“Why ask Guru this simple question? Even we can answer this!” replied
Madhu smiling “We give Guruji’s same explanation of Rama to our spouses and
tell them how they have failed as spouses. We taunt them for not standing by us
as against his family. We use her ‘correct examples and explanations’ to suit
our situation. We twist it to prove the poor guy wrong. But we tend to forget
that when we talk about his duties, we need to look at our actions too! We
complain about our birthdays and special days going wrong because of one or
some little thing over looked by the poor guy. We are ever complaining about
the comforts and luxuries not provided
by him and how that is the cause of our
pain and suffering. We talk about how our life is one hell of a compromise! But
when we are giving example of Rama to him shouldn’t we set site as example for
ourselves. She lived in the forest for 13years without even complaining once.
In fact, even in later years in Ayodhya when she is pregnant, she declares the
time spent in forest were the best years of her life. Here we see a wife
totally in love with her husband ONLY and hence she is happy in his company
wherever it be! Comforts didn’t matter to ‘the princess’!
Just imagine! We are not even used to such abundance and yet crib and
complain and desire only comforts and things that money can buy. Are we not
wrong as a wife in wanting ‘things’ that our spouse should
provide more than himself? And we are crying that there is no love in
our life! Only the day we love our spouse and know to use things will we
explain love and be happy. But sorry to say, today we just love things and use
our spouse to fulfill our wishes – be it make a perfect day, buy comforts or
fight for us!
Rama left his kingdom to fulfill his stepmom’s desire! And Sita didn’t even
question that decision. Her only concern was that she should go with Rama to
forest. She can’t live in the palace if left behind by him. And we can’t even
stand him being with his own mother in small
issues or in buying her things. And you think we compare right? If I am not
Sita, how can I expect him to be Rama? In forest, she did not think of
disowning him. Ravana’s prosperity, might and craze for her did not give her
ideas or thought to ‘move one’. Even when Rama disowned her alone in forest
when she was pregnant, she did not think she had wronged in her decision to be
his wife or in loving him. She did not think ‘if only I
had listened to Ravana
I still would be enjoying the luxuries of being his queen’. And here we are,
dropping or letting ‘our so called love’ fly through the door, windows and what
not for and during the slightest discomfortable time of our life. We need to
learn Sita’s patience and love for her husband. We need to put it in practise.
We can’t just use our God’s life as an example to let others feel miserable for
their failings. We should also take the responsibility of the fall of our life
and marriage, not to say of our values. Let’s not use Sita to pity ourselves by
identifying with her. Let us imbibe her strength, clarity of thought, purity of
personality, loyalty and above all love beyond reason for her spouse!”
There was a huge round of applause when Madhu ended it. She was emotional
while talking and was clearly moved when everyone including our Guru applauded.
She was direct. Yes, she did represent women on the whole but it was ‘right
representation’. She was neither biased not prejudicial! She was just! And she
hit the mark, what with her simple words and examples.
“It’s complete. I don’t need to add anything to it” said our Guru and we
too felt it so. If we all could get to see issues right this way always,
majority of our suffering would be done away with!
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