Sin

 

On Sin

There is no greater sin than cowardice; cowards are never saved - that is sure. - Swami Vivekananda.

This one sin generates fear, hatred, selfishness, self-pity, insecurities of many kinds, anger and arrogance. It also makes a person demanding and adamant.  

Look at these incidents to understand better - 

A person doesn't call or be in touch with the one who has helped him or guided him in his good times. Reason he gives is 'I was busy'. One more common excuse he gives is 'I was afraid of you' or ' I didn't want to disturb you'.

But when there is a need of his guide AGAIN  in life, he has no reasons that he gave before for not calling or being in touch.

But instead of owning his nature and flaw in his character he name-calls his guide saying 'he is arrogant now' or 'he has changed into a bad person' etc. 

Think about it! 

How many times have you called or been in touch with the person who has helped you, guided you or protected you in times of need?

Very conveniently you overlook that fact and give excuses and PRESUME  yourself to be a GOOD PERSON. Sit in meditation and go through the entire sequence. Look within and search your soul! Look at your words you use for the other person and for yourself.

Instead of accepting your 'selfishness' and 'use and throw away' nature you are calling the one who has helped you as 'headstrong'?

Then what is the solution here? We all commit mistakes, how do you want me to correct my wrong of past?

Simple - first accept your wrong

b. Accept that your attitude is at fault

c. Work on your nature of selfishness

d. seek forgiveness from the person whom you have hurt - genuinely not just as a word

e. heal, heal and heal your attitude and work on that. make a real effort in overcoming that nature.

f. if that person is hurt enough to not reach out to you to help you now, then respect the hurt that the other has felt.

g. acknowledge that you don't DESERVE and no one can DEMAND  help from others whenever they need. Help is a choice of the other to give. it is not your right! You lost it with your attitude. 

h. You have lost the 'respect' and 'trust' of the other person who helped you in times of need. Now if you want that person back in your life, then earn it. Your crying, name calling, being angry will only drive that person away from you. 

(head strong - పొగరుపోతు , घमंडी )

Application :  Where can you apply this knowledge?

Which are the relations you can apply this to?

Can you give example of situations that support this post?

How have you understood this post?

Forgive doesn't mean forget - always!

 

Forgive doesn't mean forget - always!

Healing a relationship doesn’t mean accepting them back in our life. No! not always. It depends on the harm the other has caused us and others in our lives. Sometimes, it is an irreparable loss. When we heal, we don’t let them enter our lives. We just forgive them. Not because they deserve it, but because we deserve so much better than them in our life. As long as we are stuck with resentment towards them, we can’t move forward, so we heal ourselves. We heal and forgive them. So that, we can move forward – without them too in many cases. But that doesn't mean we forget what they did or who they are and bring them back to life. Sometimes, these people won't and don't want to change and they can only harm us in every way possible. Then, forgive them but don't bring them back in life. Forget them too but not the lesson they taught you. 

We have forgiven them. They no longer harm us emotionally. They can’t hurt us in our memory with what they did to us. That’s where it all ends. We also can bless them for a better clarity of thought in their life. But then, that ends there, for some relationships. If we have healed completely that relationship and learned all that we need to from it then we move on from them. If we have cleared our debts with them, then they no longer are part of our present life and next life too for sure. They fall off our lives as a ripe fruit falls off the tree it is held to. However much the fruit wants to hold on, it can’t. Even if the tree wishes to hold on to it, it can’t. That’s nature! So is the case with relationships too.

So don’t worry about those relationships that are bitter and painful. If you are holding on to your side of healing sincerely and without any malice in heart, then once the debt is cleared and the lesson learned, they move on. But, if you are still full of hatred for them, you’ll be wedded to them not only in this life but also in next lives to come. In this life even if you move away from them after a bitter fight, if you haven’t healed, then they will enter your life for sure either in this life or the next life – for sure – till you have healed it completely. This syllabus is something that no one can cheat on.

So, the sensible ones heal and get it over with in this very life so that they don’t have to face the same painful relationships again in any of their future lives.

************

   # forgiveness, toxic relationships, intent, on love, being abused and calling it love, forgive but don't forget, mindfulness, know themselves, who are you, compassion, self-love, peace of mind, disturbing emotions, disturbing mind, disciplined mind, calmness within, 

also read suggested: https://kantipadam.blogspot.com/2023/10/the-mystic-says-on-forgiveness.html    

Points to ponder:     

• Forgiveness is a must for our growth. 
• Forgiveness is not a word. It is an action word. It takes years at times to forgive what one has done to us. Some can forgive with just a thought and a little understanding. But all that depends on the individual. 
• To forgive we need to work on our hurt, resentment, anger and related feelings and emotions, every single day of our life. We need to heal them layer by layer. But commitment to heal should be our ultimate resolve.
• To forgive doesn't mean act as if nothing happened. It may not happen in some cases. Then move on, just don't carry the hurt within and hatred for that person/s. That is called forgiveness.
• Never forget what that person has done and don't let that person enter your life again - if that person is toxic and hasn't changed for better.
• Accept the other person only if he genuinely seeks forgiveness and pleads for it. He should repent his actions and words. Then such person can be taken back in your life.
• If the person is not shameful for what he said or did, then DON'T take him back. 
• The one who takes him back should be so strong that he is not hurt by the other's actions which will eventually be hurting him once again - as he hasn't changed for better. 

Read to know further on this topic : https://kantipadam.blogspot.com/2020/01/on-hindi-poems.html

      

On changing destiny – Me, My Guru

On changing destiny – Me, My Guru

Contd..............

If you have a difficult relationship, then sit back and relax. Close your eyes and meditate on the type of relationship and the qualities that are predominant in that relationship. For example, if you are the ‘good type’ – meaning one who doesn’t assert yourself or one ready to please all, then you will have a ‘dominating personality’ as a ‘difficult person’ in your life. But the question is, is this the only person who is so in your life? Think about it! You’ll be surprised to notice that this type of person has been there always in your life – be it a parent/sibling/friend/teacher et like. And it doesn’t stop now

too.....you’ll meet the same type – only the person changes but the type being same again and again in your life – be it your boss/colleague/neighbour/ second spouse/children and who not till you learn to break this pattern and that is possible only by changing yourself as a person. There is no other shortcut to heal this. So, instead of running away from this present situation and person heal and learn to grow as a person. Develop the attitude that you lack. Then you’ll break not only this ‘painful person’s effect’ in your life but also all the persons you are to meet of similar types in your life in future.

But it would take ages maam! True...so you can choose an easier route..go on a ‘depression drive’ collect as much sympathy as you want from your ‘so called well-wishers’ and listen to as many as ‘I told you so’ from all such good people (who actually were most of the time who had given the same treatment to you some time back in your life!) and wallow in self-pity!!!

Remember ‘Rome was not built in a Day’. So, have patience and be in regular sadhan. Doing sadhan for 1/2an hour and crying for 23 hrs – well how do you think it would work? Do simple maths here! A tap fills the bucket in 20 mts but there are 20 holes in that bucket, now how long it takes to fill that bucket? Same way, if your sadhan and your expectation from your sadhan....increase your sadhan and decrease your negativity........your sadhan should be for 23hrs and negativity for 1/2an hour then the things will work.....

Work on yourself too as you work on the relationship. These both ways of healing gives faster results and better ones too. Not only that, since you have changed, you’ll find a sea change in all your other relationships too!”

Contd..............

suggested reads : https://kantipadam.blogspot.in/search?q=why+we+meet+the+people+we+meet+in+our+life

Me, My Guru – On disagreement

 Contd......

Me, My Guru – On disagreement 

For every ‘me’ you had crossed this difficult line, there were many who had left her because of their ‘selfish’ nature only. And some were even ‘masters’. Would God save such masters’ students from them? I doubt! Because those students went to them, selected them on their own. And each bore the brunt of his choices! So true!

Love

But here I just wished Vaishnav would change for his own good! I just hoped it would be sooner than later, for her (our guruji’s) sake!

Why do we hold on to our negatives with such tenacity when all it did was give us pain and suffering? And then we complained we received problems in our lives. It was our own doing. But we didn’t accept it! We wanted to strongly believe that ‘others’ were responsible for our pain and suffering! 

Not knowing where to go with my thought, frustration and hopelessness, I sat to heal. I healed not only myself but for once I even healed Vaishnav. Not because I loved him or understood him. 

But because she had patience to work with him and on him and for her sake I wished he changed for his own betterment!

Concluded.......

# disagreements, relationships, love, trust, opinions, attitude

also read on this topic : https://kantipadam.blogspot.com/search?q=perceptions 

Points to understand : 

• There is nothing as perfect relationship or partner (in any relationship)
• The people in it make it perfect with mutual respect, trust and above all affection for one another.
• They still may hold different views, opinions on various subjects.
• They also know that they are seeing differently but they also know come what may they will stand by each other! 
• You think the other has hurt you by not following your advice in short he didn't live up to your expectation. Did you ever realize that you also didn't live up to his expectations? If both didn't live up to each other's expectation then who is to decide who is wrong and by what standards and whose standards?
• Let's agree to disagree till we learn to know our 'dharma' of playing each of our roles. 
• Let's be verbal (but without anger and hatred in it) about our expectations and feelings. Just as we can't know their expectations from us, they also can't know our expectations from us.
• Lets start a dialogue - i repeat 'a dialogue' not accusing them! But with a condition of not expecting them to accept all that we have to offer.

Homework :

In every relationship there are two people. One who is seeking advice, support and respect and the other who is matured, person who can be leaned on and taking care of the other. 

Guru in this story represent the person who is more matured, balanced and with more experience and in the position to give advice with right intention. Vaishnav represents that person who is immatured, adamant, wants to follow his heart over common sense type of person in your life. You can also term him as immature and may be younger than you too! 

(The two roles can be inter-changed during ones life time too!)

Now if you have a Vaishnav in your life - one who is not listening to your advice, being angry, adamant and going about doing things that can hurt him (as per your opinion), then are  you also behaving as Vaishnav by your response?

Close your eyes and think about your situation. Now play it as it was played in this story. Replace Vaishnav with that person who is irritating, adamant, not seeing right etc in your life. Your job in this meditation is to see yourself in 'Guru's' role! Play it atleast once for 4-5 days and get back with results.

Next as you are in the Guru's role, are you suffering and in pain? Are you crying? If yes, did not Guru's character teach you how to behave with Vaishnav's of life? Work on those areas of yourself which is causing that pain and suffering in your life? Develop the qualities of 'this Guru in  your situation and then play it in your mind sitting in mediation atleast once daily for 4-5 days. Get back with both your experiences!

And also give the feedback of your issue's present state.

FYI - This is how every story should be used for your situations in your life. It is not a story of some Guru who is perfect and some Vaishnav who is giving her problems. It is the story that is giving you how Vaishnav's of your life behave and how you are to behave as a Guru!

How to make negative people your stepping stone to success?

…contd…..

Observe one thing though. You’ve changed as a person and in this journey of change you’ve outgrown your own limitations and belief-systems and principles. What you thought right you no longer think it so now. Your perception itself has changed so much (and that is in your words). Why? That’s because you went through sadhan regularly and exposed yourselves to such words that kept questioning your belief system. Did it happen overnight? No. even thoughts which you accepted you couldn’t put to practice yet. And that’s because change can be bit over whelming for most of us. And if it is to break the old way of thinking and taking to new way of thinking – it’s all the more difficult. And kudos to all of you for still keeping up this fight with yourself. Pity others who don’t even know this possibility.

Since sadhan changed you, only sadhan can change them or the people whom you say you love and want to protect against hurt and malice.

For that you can do intention reiki with all the qualities that you wish them to have or even simply state ‘they are healthy, happy and peaceful’. Because one can be happy and peaceful only when one knows to be so in all circumstances – that is when a person is balanced. Once one becomes balanced no one and no situation can hurt them. And the same ideal should be ours - to have that ‘state of mind’ where we are happy inspite of situations and not because of situations. There are miles to go before I sleep – so dear mind arise, awake and rest not till the goal is reached!

Journey will be tedious and long; yet don’t compromise on your goal. Never settle for anything less. You may be tired and fail a million times but when you get up to walk it should be to reach this goal ONLY – Always!

 (Temptations and fears enroute...)

So, everytime you get irritated at something or someone understand that your balance is disturbed and remember immediately to do sadhan to restore it. Use every slip as an excuse to do sadhan then every person and situation that is negative will become your accomplice in helping you realize your SELF – they will be steps that will lead you to self realization! If you can apply this simple technique then your prayer will become as that of  Buddha “God send more negative people in my life so that I am forced to be in sadhan 24/7 which will help me to outgrow my limitations and realize my “SELF”.

Concluded…

Reiki healing and its effect on our lives Me, My Guru

Reiki healing and its effect on our lives

Me, My Guru

We were all having lunch in our Guru’s place when I saw couple of sheets of paper lying on the floor. It took it and looked through them to see if I could find its owner. No name or other clue to tell whose it was. I started reading expecting to find the clue in that written word.

“

When I first met our Guruji and had asked her ‘how would Reiki help me?’ she simply smiled and said “It’ll change your world beyond your expectations”. That time I didn’t expect even remotely to live a life that I am doing now. She was right. She knew it then. I knew that she – our Guru was right only now! Yes, today as I go through my life I see the sea change that Reiki has brought about in my life.

Financially I am way ahead of my expectations. I don’t and never compare with others. I always see my growth only from a certain point of time in my life. I see and gauge my growth as ‘where I was then’ and ‘where I am NOW’. That’s all! So, that way my growth is tremendous.

I’ve changed. As a person I’ve changed in areas which I never

thought I would. My world has changed – for good! I used to consider ‘so many people’ part of my life. Now they no longer matter to me and are not part of my world any more!  I didn’t do anything apart from being in regular sadhan. Reiki just removed all such of people and relationships that were envious of me, selfish, abusive towards me as effortlessly as one takes out a fly from milk. I didn’t realize it then. I was too busily involved with life. But now when I look back, what with the crowd gone down to just handful people in my life, I see the big picture. I noticed Reiki’s role in my role in pushing those ‘parasitical relationships’ away from my life. Sometimes I used to wonder if I’ve changed to be a more lonely person, but no, now I understand that I am more

peaceful, working or rather not slogging away my bones for those who didn’t validate it one bit, people who took everything I did for granted. They were just using me. It was I who was in love with them. They never appreciated it. Thankfully, I today have outgrown my love for them. All thanks to Reiki. Just be in sadhan and see Reiki transform your priorities and your life for better. You don’t have to leave anything or anyone. Those and that which are harmful would automatically go out of your life. Trust Reiki to break you free from your bondages!”

Contd.....

Me, My Guru

Me, My Guru

On what's Bad?

I didn't understand her statement "If you are good in lots of ways and still are wanting in few areas, it doesn't mean you are bad" inspite of applying it in many areas and on lots of people.  Then, I felt I would understand `goodness' only if I also understand what `bad' is all about.  So, I went to meet her and in her company the first question that I asked was "Now, what of badness?"

She didn't have to be explained anything.  It was as if we were on that topic since morning.  She started to explain, "One which is liked by all can also be bad.  Just as one, which is not liked by many also, need not be bad.  If I don't like it, it doesn't become bad.  Just the way, if I don't follow it doesn't become bad. 

We usually assign something that we don't follow or accept as bad.  Think about it!  It is our like and dislike that we are talking about.  Our likes and dislikes can't be the basis of good and bad.  Why? Because, what I couldn't accept last year, this year I have accepted it.  Maybe, because I am in that situation now or may be my perspective has changed. Whatever be the fact, my likes and dislikes are ever changing depending upon my life's situations.  Then, how can I judge someone based on my likes and dislikes?

For eg., I don't like smoking.  But I can't call a smoker a `bad person'.  He has a bad habit which is bad for his health.  But, that doesn't make him a `bad person'. Likewise, a person with clean habits can get into my nerves and I call him `bad'.  Possible?  Because, his habits are clean but his nature is very irritating, rude or difficult one to live with for me. But an outsider will call him `good' because he doesn't smoke, drink or gamble.  Based on this definition, I should automatically be a saint because I don't smoke, drink, gamble and am not a womanizer too! But, people around me don't accept that! Just as not having a bad habit doesn't qualify a person with `goodness' and in the same way a `bad habit' doesn't make a person `bad'.

.contd..

Christmas 2023

Christmas 2023

Come Christmas all one can think about is cakes, carols and Christmas tree. But, is that all it is about?

All these acts of festivities are the body of the Christmas. But what about the spirit of the festival?

And did you know that Christ was not born in December? December 25^th was celebrated to celebrate the winter solstice and to celebrate the birth of the Sun God. Later when Roman empire got baptized it changed this day when days would start getting longer as the “birth day of Jesus”. So, you see, a tradition doesn’t necessarily reveal or reflect the “Truth” after all! And to think, we fight all wars in the name of religion and traditions? Think about that!

To get to know the spirit of any religion or tradition we need to look into the person who started it. Know his spirit and find out what are the characters that shaped his essence. Jesus was driven by character traits of – forgiveness, being sensitive to the poor and needy, belief in the Almighty and working as an instrument to fulfill the command/desire of the Divine. He didn’t have any personal agenda to cater to. He forgave even the people who nailed him to death. His heart bled for the suffering and he would do anything to alleviate them of their suffering.

Now, when we eat the cake, are we also looking at these qualities that define Jesus? Are we invoking the Christ within us? Only if we do, is the real celebration of Christmas. It doesn’t matter which religion you follow. It doesn’t even matter with which name you refer to your God. But, Rigveda says “Aano bhadro krtavo yantu viswatah” meaning “Let noble thoughts come to me from all directions” – This is a Vedic Mantra from Rigveda 1:89. 1. So let’s live our Seer’s desire to receive good from all directions.

And is not forgiveness, working for the downtrodden, and being instrument of the Lord basis of our Sanatan Dharma?

May be we can’t imbibe all these qualities in toto in our lives, but we can have them as our road map. We can work towards them, one step at a time. And as Reiki Sadhak’s we have our techniques to develop these qualities. So this Christmas, let’s do them.

Let’s do charity – at least to one person (not to your maid or driver). Let’s do it to someone unknown to us – even just one packet of food (even fruits will do if you can’t cook). If you have a kid at home, let it be done through their hands. Let’s teach them young the concept of sharing with the needy.

You can also give your old clothes to the street children.

Now with the winter that is killing many, donate at least old blanket to one person.

All the suggested options are doable by one and all. I am not asking you to do it in lakhs. So everyone can do this! If you are on facebook/social media site, post your pic donating and start a “Share to care challenge” or "Christmas spirit challenge" . Ask others to do the same and ask them to post their pics too….this way each one doing charity even to one person we can make a huge difference in real time.

Meditate on “surrendering to Reiki/God” one minute a day.

Kuch alag karthe hai, is saal….let’s do something different this year – let’s bring home Christ this year!!!

*****

Christmas, Jesus, forgiveness, essence of festival, December 25th, celebrating festivals, 

also read: https://kantipadam.blogspot.com/search?q=christmas 

 

Me, My Guru - on On being part of the Society and Social responsibilities!

Contd....

Me, My Guru - on On being part of the Society and Social responsibilities!

Happy is not one who is in Ideal situation and with Ideal person but one who is the change that he wants to see! And how can I who complain and see only faults get up to bring about change or contribute to anything productive. One who is busy constructing or creating anything productive has least amount of time to worry and cry or complain. If you have time to complain it means “You are free enough not to be part of creating something useful either to yourself or others. Even if you were busy making money for self, do you think you’ll be left with time and energy to criticize? Imagine Bill gates, Modi or Mukesh Ambani complaining about their family members, colleagues, friends or government! Can you see them doing and achieving what they do. During our discussion we also understood that we complained because we felt and believed that others were responsible for our well-being and prosperity. And hence expected them to cater to our needs (as per our standards)! If not this we felt our pain was because of others action or inaction. Either way, others were responsible for our happiness or misery as the case may be! And since we can’t make them to do or not to do as per our wish, we would eternally suffer. No amount of healing can solve this issue unless our perception changed in these matters. And our healing didn’t change much of situation unless we changed our stand. And surprisingly as we changed our perception and let go off our expectations, situations and peoples’ attitude in our lives changed! Yes, when it no more mattered, it left us! What a paradox! But then that is ‘Reality’ and Truth of life and Law of Universe! Take it or leave it....

You can complain, worry and cry your heart out due to this Law but it wouldn’t change. It would function and give results only when you do change for sure!

Each one of us came with our experiences and examples to support this understanding....

We learnt a lot for one day today!?

Contd.....

suggested reads : https://kantipadam.blogspot.in/search?q=perception

https://kantipadam.blogspot.in/search?q=choice