Me, my Guru – On right and wrong! Oh the do’s and don’ts!

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Me, my Guru – On right and wrong! Oh the do’s and don’ts!

 “So the onus of responsibility of convincing us rests on you, isn’t it’ he asked.

“Smoking is injurious to health and it is told from so many quarters and yet people choose to – why? Do you mean to say they weren’t convinced by others in their life? Inspite of all the data, cajoling by near and dear a person can choose to ignore it and make wrong choices in life. No body can convince or force you. You have to be convinced of it on your own. And that comes more and more when we are healed of our egos, fears and such related emotions. Then in its place we give space to openness, faith and acceptance which will increase our ability to make right choices and better our perception and clarity of thought”.

We walked through the memory lanes to check with these statements and yes we had many instances to back it. As years passed and our fears dropped, our clarity of thought had bettered and our perception has broadened. So now if we found it difficult to accept few of her solutions it meant our fears in that area was still unattended or there was lots of work that needed to be done!

Now, we could see her replies differently. We wouldn’t label it as ‘right’ or ‘wrong’. We wouldn’t judge them. We would go through them and if we found something against our acceptance, belief or conviction then that was a ‘red flag’ that would alert us to look within and correct if there were any ego, fear or such issues.

And it was heartening to hear her say later that day ‘you need not accept everything I say or write blindly or completely. But know why you disagree and that is good enough and yes, remember what I say, maybe you’ll need it in later times’.

This ‘later times’ one I could accept completely as I had that experience like a million times......

But with regards to other view points, I still wanted to hold my ground – for now...!

Concluded...

also read: https://kantipadam.blogspot.in/search?q=apply

Me, my Guru – On right and wrong! Oh the do’s and don’ts!

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Me, my Guru – On right and wrong! Oh the do’s and don’ts!

“But why would we choose to suffer when we know a way out?” I asked.

“One – because you’ve got used to that pain and have come to love the pleasure that this pain gives and you don’t want to lose it.

Two - because you choose to learn the hard way and that’s where your ego and arrogance come handy.

Three which is very common and that is we choose pleasant over right!

Getting up early in the morning to do exercise and sadhan is ‘right’ (as we complain of having a hectic day!) but sticking to cozy bed is ‘pleasant’ and we’ve umpteen excuses to fall back on like a.slept late b.its too cold c.we all should sleep for 8 hrs and so...etc..”

“But we are also accepting so many of your solutions. How can you blame us like this when we don’t accept some?” both he and I asked at a time, a bit hurt. We both ended up laughing as we ended the question. All through she was calm.

“This has nothing to do with me. It applies to everything you read, listen or see. It can come from any source. But we take only what we want to take. We by default are ‘never’ open to everything ‘right’ or ‘Dharma’ because it is right. We take it only if one it caters to our taste, two when it is what we want the solution to be and three when we are convinced.

“So the onus of responsibility of convincing us rests on you, isn’t it’ he asked.

“Smoking is injurious to health and it is told from so many quarters and yet people choose to – why? Do you mean to say they weren’t convinced by others in their life? Inspite of all the data, cajoling by near and dear a person can choose to ignore it and make wrong choices in life. No body can convince or force you. You have to be convinced of it on your own. And that comes more and more when we are healed of our egos, fears and such related emotions. Then in its place we give space to openness, faith and acceptance which will increase our ability to make right choices and better our perception and clarity of thought”.

Contd.....

also read: https://kantipadam.blogspot.in/search?q=on+suffering

Me, my Guru – On right and wrong! Oh the do’s and don’ts!

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Me, my Guru – On right and wrong! Oh the do’s and don’ts!

Luckily for me, he asked her this question and her answer was “I answered your questions. That’s all! They are not ‘the law’ that I frame for you to follow. You, usually come with your pain and suffering in the matters of life and its situations to me. The option that you are using already is not able to get you out of your pain and suffering nor is it helping you to take a decision either way. So, I give you the picture of cause and effect in such scenario with various options. Like in a relationship, I may say, if you hate you’ll receive just that and if you want ‘love, respect, admiration’, then you should give only that! Here I am giving you the cause and effect summarily. Yes, it may sound harsh at times to you but if you keep insisting on being what you are, doing what you do and complaining that you are not receiving what you desire – trust me I need to shake you up a bit to make you see where you are going wrong. Either you change how you respond to what you receive or change your acceptance or results while holding on to your way of dealing with things and people.

My job is only to make this point clear. Nothing more, nothing less! To convince you is not part of my agenda! I don’t get any ‘brownie’ points to convince you of ‘some view point’. I don’t have ego to please that demands that the other listens and agrees to what I’ve to say.

Then why do I put forth these options, ideas or solutions? Just to inform you of ‘options’ available to get out of that painful situation you are in. You can still choose not to follow these leads and suffer as before – but that is a choice you make out of options available to you now. Previously, you thought you were forced to suffer and there was no way out. Now you know a way out and still choose to suffer. That is the difference. Now it’s your choice not a compulsion.”

Contd.....

also read : https://kantipadam.blogspot.in/search?q=our+choices

Me, my Guru – On right and wrong! Oh the do’s and don’ts!

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Me, my Guru – On right and wrong! Oh the do’s and don’ts!

Now this man was confused. He like me must’ve prepared a volley of questions to throw at her and must’ve wanted to ease the pain and discomfort that he experienced thanks to her answers to some of our queries. But, she smartly avoided it. He felt lost like me. Poor guy, I could feel his pain – actually!

He mumbled and fumbled for sometime and then as if he had lost t he cause said in a meek voice “but I don’t want to accept few of your answers. How then can I follow them or apply them if I don’t accept them?”

“Then don’t! simple” she said. She had smile on her lips and calmness on her face all through the talk.

He and I were the ones cringing. She was at peace!

“But you say we should do so” he asked raising his voice.

“I never give you a ‘should do’ advice or statement. If ever I have, it would have been a verbal error but I didn’t and don’t mean it. And bye the way, how many of my shoulds’ have you followed?” she asked laughing. She was right there...

“You mean to say we don’t need to follow your advice or answers” he asked a bit confused.

“Absolutely! And even if I do would you? You would only if you want to, not because someone told you to – leave alone me” she said.

Now even I was confused here. If she didn’t expect us to follow, then why tell or explain in detail?

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also read : https://kantipadam.blogspot.in/search?q=acceptance

Me, my Guru – On right and wrong! Oh the do’s and don’ts!

Me, my Guru – On right and wrong! Oh the do’s and don’ts!

Recently, I’ve been prone to more pain thanks to our Guru. Most of the questions were answered in such a way that I wasn’t happy or comfortable with the solutions and answers. But I didn’t have guts to say the same to her. But my habit of visiting her class, sessions continued as this habit had become compulsive by nature and I didn’t realize it till I no longer could do much about it. What I cursed as my weakness and liability was something that I would see as her blessing and my ‘good karma’ much later in my life. But for now I suffered this situation and the worst part was I couldn’t share it with anyone especially our gang of Rahul and others as they never felt this way, not could understand how I felt or why? And I couldn’t understand how they never found her answers undigestible and insulting.

But today I found my ‘soul mate’ in a person who questioned her and her replies blatantly! He simply asked “Guruji, there are many answers of yours in reply to our queries which I don’t find acceptable to me. Can you give me separate time so that I can point out those questions to you and you can then convince me of your answers and stand?”

I was all ears when that man said these ‘soothing words’ and I was in alert mode ready to seek her permission to be part of that discussion the moment she agreed to his request. But she poured water on my hopes sooner than ‘now’. “You’ve asked a question and I answered. Period! There is no need for me to convince you of my answers. Take it or leave it! It’s your choice! I am not here marketing my ‘answers’ and I don’t have targets to arrive of ‘convincing’ any one” she replied with her trade-mark smile that lit up her eyes.

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suggested reads : https://kantipadam.blogspot.in/search?q=advice