…contd….

8. Stop connecting Y’s action with others or with Y’s other related action.
E.g.: You are a drunkard, so is your father and the entire family. You are selfish, so is your sister etc.

9. Stop connecting your state of well-being with the acts of others in your life. No one is responsible for your joys. You and only YOU ARE responsible for your joys/ happiness.

Most important is:
Start healing. How? By following few of the following guidelines. Results would follow slowly maybe but surely try them.

10. a. start thinking out how you want Y to be or the situation to be instead of how it is.

For e.g.:
Y drinks. Instead of continuously saying:
1. See, he drank today also
2. I know he’ll always drink.
3. I am to suffer like this only.
4. I have to accept and live with it for the rest of my life etc.

Just say:
1. He is a teetotaler onwards.
2. He has only clean and healthy habits.
3. She keeps the house clean everyday and enjoys keeping it so.
4. He loves studying and does well in exam.
5. We share good loving, peaceful relationship with respect and trust for one another.
6. I am successful and confident.

b. Stop using “should not” for affirmations.
Like: 1. I don’t want fights in our home.
- Should be as -
I want peace in our home.

2. I don’t want divorce.
- Should be as –
I want to lead a happy married life.

3. I don’t want to go late.
- Should be as –
I want to be on time.

4. I don’t want to fail.
- Should be as –
I have passed with flying colours.

5. I don’t want to suffer.
- Should be as –
I want to be happy.

Etc.

C. Heal with the various techniques of Reiki and see the results for yourself.

Till you do this, I go to write my next post…..

..contd….

4. The Next step would be to make a shift from being a person ‘who blames’ to ‘a person who works towards what he wants’.

Instead of pinpointing the reason of the problem, let’s work towards irradicating the ‘reason’.

To shift from being a ‘complaint oriented person to a ‘action-oriented person’, we need to do :

1. Reiki - full body

2. Do intention reiki stating how you want the situation to be

5. Once this shift happens, then the gradual change would happen in our way of handling the person/ situation also.

6. Stop wasting time in analyzing the person/ situation for what it is.

7. Attack the reason. Heal the reason because of which the situation is as it is. For eg:- If it is ill-health, find the root cause of disease, try ways of eradicating it. Be a support to Y all through the healing period. Help Y to get back to complete well-being – this again can’t be verbal accusations or taunts. Create a conducive atmosphere that can help Y to get back to normalcy as soon as possible. Like- taking Y to doctor.

Giving medicines to Y on time (don’t expect the patient to do so on her /his own – many times physical pain, emotional drain can make a patient indifferent to the healing procedure or rigours).

Give emotional /physical support to Y all through without an under-current of anger, taunt etc.

Show Y how Y would benefit by being healthy. No one wants to win the trophy for others!

Have patience through out the healing period.

Being in a relation-ship doesn’t mean sharing jokes, good times and fun but also being a support in times of need. Play that part NOW.

8. Take time to heal both the person and self.

for others : Heal full body regularly till the disease is cured, if the issue is physical ailment.

If it is relation-ship problem, then do emotional healing for that person.

If it is financial, then do both full body and financial healing regularly.

As simple as it sounds, try practicing all these ‘small’ techniques and see the results for yourself….at the same time, it may not be possible to apply these techniques always and at all times initially…don’t be disheartened…keep practicing till these techniques become second nature….

Will get back to you with few more points in the next post…

Till then, keep smiling and living,

contd......

How do I do that?

1. First and foremost, accept your anger and that ‘anger’ doesn’t give me the desired results.

2. Next accept the situation and person as it is. That is, stop labeling that person as ‘lazy’, ‘impossible’, ‘born to hurt me only’, ‘useless’, ‘impossible, ‘irresponsible’ and like. Stop labeling.

3. Stop passing the judgement on the person / situation.

बुरा जो देखन में चला
मुझको मिलिया न कोई
जो मन को आपनी टटोली तो
मुझसे बुरा न कोई

When I searched for faults, then I didn’t come across a single bad person, but when I searched within, I found that no one was as bad as me. If ‘Kabir Das’ could say this of himself, then where do we stand?

Apart from that understand by pinpointing the problem – be it a person or situation hasn’t bettered anything in our lives so far. Let for change, try something different. Stop labeling.

contd........

If we sit back and look into the reasons why as to ‘Y’ does or does not do things expected of him then, the few reasons could be as follows –

1. ‘Y’ is so addicted to drinking and has no better reason to come out of addiction apart from ‘X’ wish. Every person requires a ‘greater incentive’ than what he is presently getting ‘to do’ or ‘not to do’ what he is ‘doing’ or ‘not doing’ now.

It means he should be shown or given a reason/benefit or incentive greater than the pleasure he is getting by getting drunk. Just the wish of X is not good enough for that.

Y is not healthy enough to keep the house clean
Or
Y is simply lazy
Or
Y is bad at time management
Or
Y is so lost in the emptiness within that can’t see the clutter all around her.

Solution:
Help Y in regain health

Help Y with the time chart to do all the chores in the prescribed time/give a helping hand.

First bring cheer into her life and it will automatically reflect in the outer area too.

All these can’t be done by anger – that is for sure.

Intention of X is good but ‘expression’ is totally ‘at fault’ and so the desired result is missing.

If you wish to go to Delhi, you can’t sit in the train bound to Kerala.

Like-wise if you want something, work or assume such of attitudes that give the desired results.

Anger

Pl. Note: Please refer related article in the post dt: 8.04.09, 16.03.09, 8.03.09-29.03.09 .


Let us understand ‘Anger’ situationally. In the first place, we get ‘angry’ because :-

A. i) People are behaving the way we don’t want them to and
ii) They are not behaving the way we want them to.
B. i) Situations are not the way we want them to be
ii) what we don’t want is happening all along.

A. People are behaving / saying the way we don’t want them to.
i) X wants Y not to drink and yet Y does it.
ii) X wants Y to work and earn and yet Y doesn’t do that.
iii) X wants Y to do Reiki/ Sadhan and Y doesn’t do that.
iv) X wants Y to keep the house clean and Y doesn’t do that.
v) X wants Y to score good and Y doesn’t do it.

Etc….

Anger

Pl. Note: Please refer related article in the post dt: 8.04.09, 16.03.09, 8.03.09-29.03.09 .


Let us understand ‘Anger’ situationally. In the first place, we get ‘angry’ because :-

A. i) People are behaving the way we don’t want them to and
ii) They are not behaving the way we want them to.
B. i) Situations are not the way we want them to be
ii) what we don’t want is happening all along.

A. People are behaving / saying the way we don’t want them to.
i) X wants Y not to drink and yet Y does it.
ii) X wants Y to work and earn and yet Y doesn’t do that.
iii) X wants Y to do Reiki/ Sadhan and Y doesn’t do that.
iv) X wants Y to keep the house clean and Y doesn’t do that.
v) X wants Y to score good and Y doesn’t do it.

Etc….

…contd…

Oh, God! I am confused. Tell me exactly, why these ‘normal human feelings’ are termed as ‘vikaras’ or ‘negativities?’

Fine. Soul longs to express it’s absolute Nature of Being Love, Purity, Divine, Blissful and peace. But, it is not able to do the same because of our negativities like anger, jeolousiness, pain, guilt, laziness etc. for eg: if I want to look beautiful, a small pimple can take away my chance of looking Beautiful. In the same way, to be divine is not possible with qualities of lust, anger, laziness, fear, worry etc., in us.

Just as if I want ‘light’ I can’t let ‘darkness’ too to be present. If I want to be ‘rich’, I can’t let ‘poverty’ be my surname. Likewise, to be happy, love, complete and peace these qualities – normal human qualities like fear, worry, hatred etc are impediments. So, they are called as ‘vikruti’ – hence ‘vikaras’- Qualities that make us ugly and incomplete. On the other hand, qualities of Love, Peace, Bliss, Contentment, Divinity are called ‘Prakriti’ or our ‘Nature’.

Okay, fine. I understand that it is not all that clear. Let’s try to understand the same from the different angle.

Let us understand what these ‘vikaras’ do to us and how and why we experience them in the first place. We’ll also see the effects of these ‘negativities in our life. We’ll then decide whether to have them or discard them. But, for that we need to look forward till the next post….

Life isn't tied with a bow, but it's still a gift.

However good or bad a situation is, it will change.

Everything can change in the blink of an eye. But don't worry; God never blinks.

To sum up let’s look at some the belief systems that we need to work on!

A. “Everything that I like or admire should be possessed or owned by me.”

B. “So, I should only look and never want to own, right?”

C. “More the cost, more happiness it gives.”

D. “I need every gadget available in the market to be happy”.

These are just the leads. Look within and outside to find out other belief systems that we need to work on. “

Belief systems are fine but my basic problem is not yet solved.” How and where do I get satisfaction, love, peace and happiness (if not bliss)?

The answer as you always know is “LOOK WITHIN!”

So the next question is “if everything is within, then how come I see only darkness inside and I never experience satisfaction, love, peace and happiness ever or most of the time in my life.”

Question actually has two questions wrapped in it –

1.What is the cause of darkness within me?
2.Why I am not experiencing satisfaction, love, peace and happiness?

The darkness within is because of the ‘vikaras’ that we have developed and held on to – may be since janmas (births). ‘Vikaras’ are negativities such as:-
1.Anger
2.Frustration
3.Pain
4.Jealousness
5.Hatred
6.Worry
7.Laziness, etc.

Now the question is, why they are called 'vikaras'?

…contd…..


D. “I need every gadget available in the market to be happy”.

This is one belief system that is driving each one of us crazy. We are just not satisfied with having gadgets but are craving for the latest though the one we already are using is under-utilised and we are ignorant of most of its options that exits.

Wanting to possess things is not against ‘abundance’. All through India has been a country of both material and spiritual excellence and abundance. Then, where is the problem now with possessions? Simple:
“In good old days, people used things and loved people
but now
we are loving things and using people.”

This small shift is the basis of all our problems. Beware of it!

The curse of past was humans were treated as slaves and the danger of the future is that men might become Robots....

Remember one of our most favourite dialogues: “I’ve car, house, bank balance etc. What do you have?”

“Mere paas ma hai” “I’ve Mother” (From Deewar)

on this filmy note, I bid goodbye to you all,

till I write again, take good care of your SELF....

contd...........


C. More the cost, more happiness it gives.
No. Any costly item can give at the most ‘more comfort’ than the less costly one but never happiness because of the price.

For example: expensive vehicle has better machine and comforts than a low end one. So, too with the appliances that ease labour but they cannot give happiness. It’s scientifically proven that, on the contrary, these gadgets are responsible for many ailments what with restricted body movements and less exercise there by to our body.

Take any item for that matter.
A.C (air conditioner) for example:
1. It increases the electricity bill.
2. It is the cause for global warming.
3. We are tampering with the body’s ability to adjust with the climate there by becoming more sensitive to temperature fluctuations.

I am not denying that the comfort of A.C betters our performance. What I am trying to say is man created machines to use them and to ease his life but somewhere down the line he is become a slave to machines.

Remember:

Money can buy:

1.People, but not friendship and respect.
2.Bed but not sleep.
3.Medicines but not health
4.House but not home
5.People but not LOVE.
6.Expensive watch but not time.

And actual happiness depends only on LOVE, health, sleep and PEOPLE in our lives…….

Isn’t it funny that we lose our health going behind wealth and then lose all our wealth to gain health……?

Think……………

Note : Those who mark ‘not clear’, I request you to kindly elaborate what you didn’t understand if you wish to understand that day’s article clearly…..I’ll then explain it elaborately….please co-operate….

Let me explain the statement “Placing the right value on the things of this world and how to apply it in our day to day life”.

First and foremost, we need to break our belief-systems.

Some of the belief-systems that can be worked on would be –
“Everything that I like or admire should be possessed or owned by me.”

A. Mere possession doesn’t make that article ‘yours’ in real sense always। Legally yes, may be, but not ‘actually’. Every man who owns a woman need not necessarily have her mind and soul and vice-versa. So, he /she’s confused that he /she is dissatisfied and incomplete in spite of having him/her. This applies to every relationship. We can NEVER EVER OWN A PERSON. People are not the possessions. They can be objects of our affection or worhip, but however much we love still we can’t own the other person – including our

Liking public figures and admiring them is fine. But, to feel dejected and suffer pain as we can’t /don’t possess them – well that is a totally baseless pain we suffer with.

Just admiring a beautiful house, jewellery etc is not at fault. Thinking ‘I am incomplete and will not be happy till I own it – well, that is the root cause of the pain.’

These are mere examples. Let’s just apply this to every desire of ours to completely understand the statement “All that I like I need not own”.

Let me sum it up as :

Mind should not go to all such places where the eyes go.
And the Man should not go to all such places where the Mind goes.

B. “So, I should only look and never want to own, right?”

No. it’s not that. You can buy anything that fancies your sense. But, just remember, you will not become complete and happy because of the possessions you worked so hard to acquire. You will not become rich by owing them. You are already rich, complete and happy. Now, to express that happiness, you can go ahead and purchase things that you fancy. Also remember, if you can’t immediately purchase, then plan, save and then buy it/them. But, suffering the waiting period is ‘optional’ and completely ‘unnecessary’. So, DON’T. Enjoy the waiting – earn and work for what you desire, become WORTHY of it and then simply ENJOY it! Simple!

Happiness is the journey and not the destination. So, remember the journey is worth more that the destination. Always, ANTICIPATION is better than REALISATION.

Listen to this song and think........ what is the price I am paying to get what I want? and is it really that worthy of getting it?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fAcPvCBDKL0

Work on these belief systems and come out with few of your owns, till I write again more on this……..

Then why and how do I deal with the things of this world?

Placing the right value on the things of this world.
Understanding that they by themselves don’t have any great value however high their MRP may be. It’s the person who has it more importance than the things he possesses
Not use the things of the world to increase the price of the man.
(OR)
Use them to buy happiness, peace and security in life.
They should be used to express our joy, peace and contentment.
Like, I shouldn’t dance to be happy, but I should be happy and chose dance to express that.
I should not gift so that I can buy love but should love and to express that I may buy a gift.
Like, we eat to live, not live to eat.

I know it’s too much to chew, so will take leave of you to ponder on these issues……………will continue tomorrow.

Fine, then I can get bliss, peace and love when I turn my back to this world and its articles. Right?
No – a big no.

World and all that constitutes it is not at fault. The flaw is in placing the value of these items of world – name, fame, relationships, body, possessions like gold, car, land and all other material assets as love, peace, security, bliss and contentment.
For example:
It is assumed that possessing ‘ diamonds’ increases the value of the possessor. He/she is said to be a ‘big shot’ or ‘badaa aadmi’.

Imagine a situation where a person gets diamonds one fine day. That moment onwards he experiences:
Fear of losing it.
Fear of being killed for it.
Loses confidence on all around him – many times on his near and dear ones too.
Suspects their acts to be filled with greed and so hates others for it.
Loses sleep and develops insomnia.
Is troubled by the desire to protect it.
Not to forget the curse or ill luck that comes – at times with such precious stones.

In short he gets all except peace of mind, security, bliss and contentment. On the contrary loses the little of what he had too!

And to think ‘rich possessions bring peace and happiness’!

Likewise, think about everything of the world. They all are ephemeral. Even if the joy is experienced, it is momentary and the saga of pain continues there after…………..

We, like this woman have lost bliss, happiness, peace, love and completeness and contentment within us and are searching for it in the outside world.

Just as a firefly that drunk of sense organ (called eyes) gets attracted to the light, gets burnt and dies, we too get attracted to the items displayed under heavy lighting and burn everyday in the fire called jealousness, frustration, anger, etc.

We are lost because we are searching in the wrong place and that’s why in spite of working hard throughout our lives, we end up being frustrated, lost, dejected, unhappy etc.

Then how do we get there?
The search starts from within.

How?
First, by accepting that, everything is within.

“Only you are responsible for your happiness.”

Contemplate on this statement every moment.

Practice pranayam at least 15 minute daily.

Meditate at least for 15 minutes daily.

Do re-birth with ‘confusion’, ‘lack of clarity’, ‘ignorance’.

Fine, then I can get bliss, peace and love when I turn my back to this world and its articles. Right?

Think on these issues till I write further more on this topic………….

We have started this journey called life with the basic purpose of experiencing bliss, happiness, completeness, peace and love. If this be the purpose of our journey, then how come we lack these basic ingredients that complete us? Why are we not able to experience them in the first place? Why most of us say, I have everything except pace, love and bliss in life?

It is because we are searching for them at the wrong place.

How?

Once in a village Agyanpur lived an old woman named Shanti. She was loved by all in that village. One night, well past midnight, a youth found Shanti searching for something under the lamp-post on the main road. He went near her and asked as to what she was searching for. Shanti replied “my only possession – my gold ring.” The youth consoled her and joined her in the search for her ear rings. Few more night revelers passed that way and they too joined Shanti in search of her ear rings. The crowd numbered more than a hundred by the time it was dawn.

A morning walker found it very amusing to find so many searching for one ring. Out of curiosity, he asked as to who lost it. When he found that the ring belonged to Shanti, he asked “grandma when and where did you lose ring?” She smiled and replied “yesterday night in my hut.” The man was surprised and asked “then why are you searching for it here in the road?”

She smiled and replied innocently “because it’s very dark inside my hut and there is light here under this street light. So………!”

I leave it to your imagination as to what the man and all others must have felt when they found the truth!

Now the question is “do you consider this old woman
1. Intelligent 2. Sensible 3. Correct 4. Logical 5. If others- specify what?

When i started this journey, I never thought I would go sooooooooooooooooooooo long........

Thanks to your support, encouragement, interest and participation and to my daughter's continuous support in typing, editing and posting the articles, i could share my thoughts and syllabi of inner management for a whole year.

में तनहा ही निकल पड़ा

मंजिल की तलब में

लोग मिलते गए

और कारवां बनता गया.

When I first started this journey in search of destination, I did it alone. Slowly I found people embarking on this journey along with me and lo! it became a huge caravan..........

Yes, kantipadam celebrated it's first birthday on 3rd March 2010. And the best gift you can give to this one year old is :

1. Do full body reiki without fail today and

2. re-birth meditation with ingratitude and lack of clarity of thought

I hope you are not swearing at me as my daughter is right now.........

with best wishes,

Since a couple of months, I have been posting one liners or questions. They were not statements to be agreed or disagreed upon, but techniques which could be implemented to realise self. Or in other words, drop the acquired self - ego.

The journey through this maze called mind by itself is fulfilling, enjoyable and fascinating even far ahead of the time of reaching the destination which is self realisation.

The link to the song which relates to this idea is given below:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wTJAYSvmf2k&translated=1

The song says it all -

"It's a long journey ahead. But, we should know where we are going. Actually we don't even know where and what our destination is. Hence, the tiredness, pain and frustation during the journey. As long as we don't know where to go, it doesn't matter how long we go, we still end up going nowhere. If we give in to our senses, we'll ewnd up going everywhere and yet nowhere in particular.

So, let's start the journey the right way and at the right place.......

Till I write again, think - think of the journey, the purpose, the way, the reason, the goal..........and all connected to it................

Each one of us is making an impact in the world. Now, the question is "What type of an impact?"

I would like to know who is:
Latha C, Kumar, Thomas Randall and Anu.......

No one but YOU is in charge of your happiness!