Application of Il Dolce far Niente!

…contd….

Today, we admired her for her commitment, perseverance and regularity. We noted this point and decided to work on it henceforth and ‘thanked her’ in our hearts.

Next, it was Murali’s turn. He adjusted his laptop in such a way that we all could view what he wanted  us to see. Then he said “before I talk, I request you all to see this video and he played it, not one but two videos”.

(Please see these videos to understand the explanation below)

 

We were truly shocked when we saw those videos – there was no doubt about it. I mean could it be true? We were still dazed as Murali started his explanation “These videos sort of sum up my experience and observation with regards to IDFN experience. What did you observe and understand from these videos?” he asked.

“We are too busy to stop and notice people, events, happenings and everything around us. We are rushing about our lives mechanically. We are hardly aware of our surroundings”.

“Exactly! And also that we notice something ‘good’, important’, ‘special’ in its ‘set circumstance. Here the musicians! People go crazy to meet them. Spend thousands, wait God knows how many years to listen to them, see them in person in their concerts. And yet when they were available at stone’s throw, no one bothered to use that opportunity. We are missing out on such “miraculous happening” because of our ‘conditioned way of thinking’. We are conditioned even in accepting ‘miracles’ in our life. We want them to happen in a ‘set way and form’ and 'if happens just like that’, we don’t accept it”.

...contd....

Applications of Il Dolce far Niente!

…contd….

(Listen to this ghazal by the ghazal king "Ustad Jagjit Singh" to understand the importance of childhood and its memories...)

I didn’t take it as a single moment that happened accidentally. I sat down, jotted down my feelings, action in fact everything to get the understand of the whole structure and then came to conclusion that I can actually apply this in each and every act of mine and trust me I’ve been doing it consciously now and the result is amazing. I am more relaxed now. I am happy more often, less irritated and tired, I don’t know if I made myself clear but try to understand what I am trying to tell and apply it on day-to-day basis. Trust me, your world will change fore sure!

Thank-you!” so saying she sat down. We all could see that she was clearly moved.

Later when we were discussing among ourselves, we realized something more from Deepa’s experience. We all shared our experiences. That was so routine. But she didn’t stop at that experience or feeling, she went to analyze it, understand it and above all apply it in her life. That made her special. Our Guruji always said “Don’t get stuck at any ‘good experience’. Move on” and also “Instead of learning 1000 techniques and using it once, use one technique 1000 times and it’ll transform you and your life”. So true! We were regulars and most of us were ‘advance students and even some of us masters’ but we had actually only learnt 1000 techniques (not literally just figuratively) but applied it only or hardly once. No doubt our progress was more or less nil. But this girl hardly came but when she did she picked all in that class and applied it so often that her progress was so evident to all of us. She didn’t know that of course! She was her humble self with us treating us as ‘advance student et al’ but most of us were actually envious of her progress as we felt she was just II degree. But today, we knew where the problem was or should I say ‘her secret lay’.

...contd.......

Applications of Il Dolce far Ninete!

…contd……

Deepa started her explanation “I had my IDFN moment when I was playing with my kid. Being in a demanding and taxing career, I hardly get time to relax. Because, apart from my job  I was also into social activities in my apartment, office and had a huge group of friends to meet. The household chore was ofcourse there too! So imagine time to relax! Never! Or so I though I was always late. My yesterday’s itinerary always spilled over my today’s and inspite of multi-tasking I always fell short of fulfilling my responsibility. I was never satisfied with myself. I was losing to myself regularly and I didn’t take it lightly. I felt sick, tired and on the verge of breakdown. I had started to believe that I was a failure ‘for ever’. Happiness seemed  like an alien word that never would ever happen in my world.

It was then that my 6 year old kid asked me to play with him. I normally brush aside such requests with “please kiddo, go play with your maid or friends. Can’t you see I am so busy?” but that day I just agreed to! Thought would play for 10-15 mts and then get back to my work but didn’t realize it was more than 2 hrs that I spent with him or should I say with happiness? What we played didn’t make any sense but when I lost myself playing I didn’t realize. All I remember now is ‘the happiness’ that we shared and lived. I am not good in explaining all these things but I just wish you understand what I am trying to say.

I had achieved so much in life and had so much to flaunt by way of ‘doing meaningful stuff’. But they didn’t give ‘the happiness’ that ‘this happiness’ gave while playing with the kid. Please don’t brush it aside as a ‘mother thing’ or ‘oh, everyone feels that way with their kids’. Please try to understand what I am trying to tell. What I did and with whom didn’t actually matter. It was ‘how’ I did it that made the difference. Let me explain. When I was behind achieving things or performing various duties or fulfilling various responsibilities I was bound by expectations of ‘self’ more than others. I wanted to give my best. And that added to others expectations increased my anxiety, fear and stress as I went about my work, though most of the time  I was more or less always applauded for ‘good performance’ I was never able to relish that achievement because of ‘next job to be completed’ tag. This was a vicious cycle. Performance, comparisons and dead-lines were synonymous with every task I took up – I mean literally every task. No doubt, I was always edgy and restless. 

But when I was playing with the kid, there was no such thing. In the course of playing, I even lost conscious of time and it was then that I discovered happiness. At that time, I didn’t realize it. late in the evening when I was humming as I was going about the routine that I realized that not only was I humming – which I hadn’t since years but I was also smiling as I was doing my chores. Yes, I was ‘happily doing’ the ‘boring routine’. How impossible was that! Moreover, I was not tired like other days. Then it stuck me that it was a ‘special thing’ that happened. Later, say after 2-3 days I suddenly saw the connection between the events and its’ effects on my psyche and I knew I had my ‘IDFN’ moment.

 

...contd....

Application of Il Dolce Far Niente!

Me, My Guru

Application of Il Dolce Far Niente!

It seemed long back when our Guru talked about IDFN and we had come often times to share our inputs and experiences regarding this but some or the other incident or person took the centre-stage always. At last, we had given up hope of ever discussing it. But today it happened just like that. Yes, it was so impromptu! We had actually come to attend a ‘class’ or ‘session’ as we prefer to call it. But our Guruji said it stands cancelled because of sudden heavy downpour. This was a bit perplexing to most of us. So many of our ‘sessions’ were conducted during rainy season, then why it was quoted as a reason to cancel our session, we didn’t know. We didn’t dare ask her. I just put this as one of ‘her weird behavior patterns’ folder and shelved it in the

bank of my memory bank. Her talks and behavior had been so many times self-contradictory that we had come to accept it with just a nod. Initially, I would go ‘bonkers’ over her ‘such talk or behaviour’ for days on end. But not any more! Ofcourse Rahul, Aziz and their gang members were never troubled by such incidents. Their trust far beyond their experience was so profound and unshakable that it sometimes though seemed wonderful, many times it only irked me more!

But now, I have made peace with her ‘such behaviours’ I had had my share of experience to tell me that there was always a solid reason for such of her behaviour. Now I know that her talk and actions was not based on likes and dislikes like us ‘normal people’. No Never!

She talked what she ought to, not what she wanted to. So unlike us! So, this belief gave me peace that was explainable and at the same time this belief was not ‘blind belief’. Well, no point discussing something that can’t be expressed. Right?

So, having nothing much to do Deepa just suggested we share our IDFN experiences. Just like that! And here we were doing it when we least expected to. 

...contd.....