On discipleship

…contd….

Vaibhav, Viplav and Nimmy whom I considered as kids didn’t seem so to me anymore. I could go on and on about my healing sessions and techniques but I hardly found my ego depleted. And here…….

My Guru had said so many times

जो दिखता है वो होता नहीं 

और जो होता है वो दिखता नहीं 

 

“jo dikhtha hai who hota nahi

Aur jo hota hai who dikhta nahi”

“What is is unseen and what is seen, is not!”

I never understood those lines. They seemed illogical and I felt she was blabbering when she uttered such statements. But today, I saw what she meant. She was right. “What is seen is not and what is not IS”. So True!

(just look at all these pictures......once you see it in a certain way you can't see it the other way.........just think about it!)

 

All these days, I was looking at their physical acts and found it normal and routine. I found their entire trip was a farce, waste of time and useless. All so because, I was looking at what they were ‘doing’. I saw what was ‘seen’. But the actual work was no in the physicality of the entire trip but it was in their ‘Being’. And that was so truly ‘unseen’ and yet it was what actually ‘was’.

These four days I told myself umpteen times that these people and also our Guru (based on her interaction with them) were being senseless and now I realized that I was the ‘fool’ – not them. I lost the precious four days experience that was available to me and shown to me so simply lived by those kids. I was the loser and here I was…………. So stupid of me!

Thoughts didn’t leave me for many days to come. I was left alone to deal with my inner demons (and thank God for that! No one knew what I actually was going through). Everyone left for their homes. For me goodbyes and wishing seemed robotic. I still had lots of ‘gathering of self’ to do! It may take sometime.

And I had no other option than to do that as of now…………….

  Concluded.............

Me, My Guru

…contd……

“And who says we didn’t receive? We received ‘her presence’ through the very air she breathed! We received the joy of doing ‘little nothings’ like scrubbing, cleaning etc for her. We received ‘her presence’ and ‘lost ours’ here. Couldn’t you see how happy we were? How peaceful we all were? That was not us but ‘her presence’ that moved through us.  Ramana Maharshi was once asked “What’s the benefit of having a Guru who doesn’t even talk?” since Ramana Maharshi would hardly talk, this question was asked by one of the persons who had come for his darshan. Ramana just smiled and replied “Just having your Guru in physical form and be able to see him so is the biggest boon that you get for having a Guru in physical form – though he is silent”.  Our Guru said this once in some context. And we experienced that joy everytime we come here. And it’s only increased year after year! We can’t explain our experience. We can’t word it! our words fail us whenever we have wanted to express our experience of our stay here” completed Viplav a bit emotionally as they both boarded the taxi to airport.

I was left stunned. These kids experienced what it takes years of practice for any other mortal. They have emptied their egos completely. They were tuned to ‘the presence’ of ‘just being’ and hence they all were in tune with each other and so were with our Guru. In their innocence they scaled heights in this spiritual journey. No doubt, they were so cheerful. They didn’t have to exchange words. They were in sync with each others' presence and all seemed so normal and simple! The profundity of the entire episode hit me like a tsunami. It completely wiped away my senses and I felt weak with my understanding. I collapsed to the ground.

They had chosen the simple path of healing themselves. They just tuned to ‘her presence’ and the rest happened on its own. No doubt they didn’t want anything else. What else was there to get? We could only read about it and they were living it so casually. And they didn’t even make a huge cry of it. God!

...contd..... 

You can listen to this song from "Baiju Bawra" the eternal classic movie "Man tarpat  

 

On discipleship and giving

(Learn to give from flowers - see how they greet one and all with smile...)

….contd……

 But one look at them and I had my own doubts. What is it that I was missing? What did they gain through this entire exercise? Why did they do this and that too so regularly? So many questions and yet no answer! Couldn’t ask them or could I?

Next two days also flew past the same way. I was there all along and yet couldn’t see them receive anything different or substantial. Infact, they didn’t even get to spend much time with  her. She was busy with her works and she kept going out for long spells of time and when she was present, most of the time she was in her room.

And yet, these three behaved as if all this was but natural – they never made it obvious that they had come from such long distance and that they weren’t treated well. Why I didn’t understand!

They went about their routine for full 5 days and left on 5^th day late night. Our Guruji didn’t even come to bid them good bye and yet they were joyous and were actually planning for their next trip and stay.

When they were bidding me goodbye I couldn’t stop myself any more and burst out abruptly “why did you both come and what did you benefit from this stay that you are thinking of coming again?”

“We didn’t come to receive something here. We came only “to be” with our Guru. We really envy you guys here. You can spend so much of time with her. Lucky you!” replied Vaibhav smiling.

 “And who says we didn’t receive? We received ‘her presence’ through the very air she breathed! We received the joy of doing ‘little nothings’ like scrubbing, cleaning etc for her. We received ‘her presence’ and ‘lost ours’ here. Couldn’t you see how happy we were? How peaceful we all were? That was not us but ‘her presence’ that moved through us. 

...contd......

On Giving and Discipleship

…contd…..

I was surprised to note that they seemed to share an untold and unseen vibe with our Guru. She never said a word, yet they knew what she wanted and did exactly that. They even u understood when she wanted them to stop and did just that. They never did anything for their sake – it seemed. I felt that they were doing what our Guru wanted. They didn’t impose their love or presence on her. They just were there to be available to her needs and wants.

Their very presence had built an air of pleasantness in the entire place. I never experienced it before nor could I understand it for what it was. All I knew was that we all drank of it and were thrilled and felt satisfied and full.

Our Guru didn’t do much of talking these two days. She would come and sit for say an hour or so and talk randomly on any topic. The trio would simply sit and listen. They never questioned or said anything. They just listened. Looking at them I thought they listened as if their life depended on what she said. I was bit amused at that.

 At times our Guru asked them to talk and then they would talk about their experiences and journey. But, whenever they talked though they never mentioned much, the talk seemed to revolve around our Guru. I usually get irritated at people who ‘act hooked by their Guru’. I’ve seen few of my relatives and friends talk in the similar way about their ‘Guruji’ and it only irritated me – always. But here nothing of that feeling came by. No. not because it was ‘our Guru’ but it wasn’t idolatry or flattery that they were resorting to!

What surprised me most was that these two came all the way from Europe and yet did not demand her time, talk or presence. They never once made a huge cry of their NRI status et al.

They never were restless when she didn’t speak or show up. They never for one impose their stay on her. On the contrary, they made themselves  inconspicuous. That really was amazing. It seemed as if all that they had come to was to do the scrubbing, cleaning and cooking. Did they spend so much of money, time and energy just to do this? I wondered. I thought they were fools to waste their precious time and especially money this way.

...contd.....

Me, My Guru

Me, My Guru

On Discipleship and giving 

(See how these trees raise to touch the sky by giving all that they have!)

  I was staying at my Guru’s place since two days. This was the first time I actually did this. I heard Nirmala talk about this stay to Kumar and I made enquiries of the same and joined them in their stay at my Guru’s place.

I found out that Vaibhav and Viplav, the twin brothers were to come from Venice for three days stay along with Nirmala and couple of other students. I also came to know that these twins came over for such stay every year for a minimum of 3 days and at such times Nimmy (as she was called by them) joined them.

For me, it was more of curiosity than anything. I’ve heard a lot about these twins and then yearly visit. I was curious to know why they came all the way from Europe and that too so regularly. What did they gain? Were they taught something special during such stays? I had lots of such questions spinning my head and I joined this group to have my questions answered.

Nimmy was of almost same age as the twins and they bonded really well. Their friendship I heard was of long standing and the way they understood each others' looks and cues proved it.

I sort of found it odd. I hadn’t seen such friendship ever! It was unique in more than one way! They didn’t even exchange words – just a glance was enough and all of them would laugh for good half an hour. They sort of completed each others’ sentences. Each one’s act and thought was to bring comfort to the other. Yet they maintained a décor which was both stately and pure in the air around it. They weren’t loud about their friendship.  Infact, they didn’t even voice it. they simply lived it. Yet one thing that strangely seemed to bind them together looked like our Guru and her well-being. Their every act, word, thought in the last two days circled only around doing something or the other for her. In these two days, I didn’t find them sit idle ever. When our Guru was in her room or elsewhere, they cleaned her entire place. They tended her plants, cooked for her, sang bhajans when she was reclining in her ‘easy-chair’. I must say that they had very good voices and Nimmy played violin beautifully as Vaibhav accompanied her with his flute. The music sessions were a treat but they lasted only as long as our Guru rested. They never over did any of their actions.

....contd.....