The one who has gratitude will always look for the benefits she/he got from the situation – however bitter or painful it is and 

The one who doesn’t want the blame of failure or doing (here it is doing wrong reiki) on self and so out of that fright pushes the blame onto the reiki or the master by asking this question ‘why it didn’t work inspite of doing reiki?’

Then what was the reason for these qualities….the first one believed and lived saying ‘I am doing reiki and all that is happening is as per the wish of reiki – this person is not feeling failure or being successfull when reiki works/doesn’t work….this person doesn’t feel he/she is the doer….

Whereas the second category are those who feel they are the doer and hence the success or failure (as per their defination only) belongs to them and they feel as a failure when they do reiki and don’t see results as per their specifications…..when the results are as per their expectations they take the credit and enjoy it but when the results are not as per their expectations then they are afraid that the blame may be put on them for not doing reiki correctly and in that fear they transfer the blame onto the master or reiki with a simple question ‘why it didn’t work though I did it ?’

I smiled at the ignorance of the mind and the way ego has its way with such simple tactics…..no doubt maya is so powerful……

lord lead me into light from darkness – this is my only prayer to you for now and for ever!

.contd.......

Second person called and said “I drew shield on my aunt and yet she fell down.  I had also sent intention reiki saying she is healthy and safe – yet why did she fall?”

Both were reiki channels and had been practicing reiki now for few years….yet the way they had perceived the same incident was so different from each other that it set me thinking….

What was the factor that controls our perspective on an event or a person for that matter?

Undoubtedly , the basic character or the attitude of the person….and that was either of the one always –

...contd.. 

Perspective

Yesterday, I received two calls – both on the same issue and yet so different from each other…

First person called and said “recently I met with an accident.  Had 21 stitches on the head and had couple of fractures.  I was totally bed ridden for three months. During this time, I had time to look into my life and the way I was leading it. Now that I had brush with death, I cherished life and wanted to live it fully – honestly –that is being honest to my feelings and desire.  I no longer believed in pain and suffering – whatsoever be the reason….

I immediately let go off my 20 year relationship which was just a namesake – all because I was afraid of getting a bad name in the society, not wanting to let go off the material benefit I got from being in that relationship, because I was afraid of taking full responsibility of my children…but I hid these reasons behind a statement that I adjusted and suffered in this relationship and so am a good person….how stupid of me! That I understand now…thanks to this accident, I’ve decided to live and let live in every relationship….i just called to thank you and reiki for guiding me all these years…you were always right when you said ‘ even a bad event is a good event’ now I understand that completely….this accident in fact as changed me and my lifestyle completely and I am totally at peace with myself – with no ill-feelings towards anyone….”

...contd....

Sometimes I wonder why I’ve to lose a person to know his/her importance in my life?

Do I take that person for granted in my life?

Is my ego so big that I belittle the joy of being with the person?

Can we trade our ego for the joy of a relationship?

Sometimes, I wonder why I need to lose a person to know his/her importance in my life?

And many times, I don’t even realize even the person has left my life?

Is it good or bad? I wonder!

Sometimes, I wonder…..

Someday - a Poem!

Someday !

 

Today, i had fight with myself
Today, my desires fought with my principles
Today my commitments fought with my weaknesses
my excuses had a row with my schedule
my confusion had a tiff with my clarity of thought
Today i had fight with myself...

sometimes, my desires win over my principles
my commitments lose to weaknesses
my schedule is won over by my excuses
and confusion hits my clarity of thought
today was one such day!
today was just another day!

Someday, i wish and am sure that 
my principles will rule over my desires
my weaknesses will rest when my commitments take over
my schedule will be right on time
when my clarity will wipe away my confusion....

Someday i am sure of that
it's just that today is not that day!
But someday i am sure 
it'll not be today!

Me, My Guru - on relaxation

…….contd……..

then why didn’t I get this simple answer throughout the day though I was bent on understanding it?

All through the day I was tensed and behind that question  and in the process I was blinded by my own tension and stress…while I was playing I became relaxed and because I wasn’t expecting anything I was open to receiving an understanding so it happened effortlessly……

Now, I understood why my Guru always said ‘be relaxed you’ll understand’.  And I had been irritated at her whenever she had said these words…she meant good and right only I couldn’t see it…

Will my simple regret or sorry do away with all the hurt and anger I had spilled on her? I doubt……i didn’t know if I had to thank her for letting me be in her life or respect her for being herself inspite of who I was…

Few answers I wouldn’t get – ever and this was one such one………

Me, My guru - I am what I read!

Me, My Guru

Today, the whole day I was thinking and reflecting on the statement “I am what I read”.  I was wondering as to why and how my feelings cloud my ‘seeing’ and ‘listening’ skills! I couldn’t understand why people couldn’t appreciate others, see good in others and validate someone’s help, good nature or their affection most of the time?(Me helping Priya with the caterer is one such example)

I couldn’t find the answer but my head was ready to split into thousand pieces because of severe headache.  Just then, my niece asked me to play scrabble with her – it’s a word game.

With no other option given to me by her, I started to play with her…sometime passed and she got stuck at a point…she is just 6 years old…I waited for 15 mts for her to make a word with the 7 alphabets that she had.  She couldn’t.  Her brows which were closing in told me that she was about to cry. I volunteered to look into her alphabets and immediately said ‘wow! You got ‘fathom’ word with you’.  She asked what does that mean?  I was surprised and asked her in return ‘ don’t you know fathom?’ very sweetly she replied ‘I don’t.  if I had known it I would have made that word’.

It hit me then…ofcourse! If I can’t be good to others, how can I see good in others? It’s like “ if I am colour blind, though the colour exists I can’t see it.  Because I can’t see it can’t expect it to be there. Simple.

Likewise, what I didn’t have (attitude) I can’t see.  So I am what I read. If I can’t see good in others, it’s because I don’t have it in me and therefore can’t know that it exists….simple…

…….contd……..

Power of my thought!

Now, as i was looking at few of my thoughts...i found a pattern in them...i was looking at all the people who have cheated me and broke my trust...I felt irritated, angry and cheated...i discovered i had headache, discomfort in my stomach and a lump that looked stuck in my throat...

i stayed with my pain and physical suffering for sometime....then i looked out and saw rain drops falling lazily on trees, roof tops, birds, road, walls, houses.....and - and my pain was gone....

what happened?  when i had negative people and their acts in my mind, i suffered the consequences of that negativity that is physical pain and suffering and when i was one with nature, i was my natural healthy, happy and contended self...

people will be people..but i can choose with whom to be ..that is freedom.....

Me, My Guru

....contd...

Me, My Guru

I waited for two days before going to meet her. This time I wanted to be sure and wanted to show to her that I completely understood the statement that she made “You are what you read”. 

When a situation happened that gave me a perspective on this statement, I rushed to her place to put it across to her.

I was dead excited this time too but I tried not to show it on my face…I took few extra breaths before I opened her gate. As luck would have it, she was seeing off couple of her students.  That means I didn’t get extra time to slow my heart beat before meeting her.  But, I used those few seconds that I had to reduce my excitement.  I wanted her students to stay few more minutes that day.  I could use those extra minutes for myself.  I smiled.  On other days, I would have been angry that others were already with her.  I never felt I should share her with others.  This always angered me.  But today, it was different.  I didn’t mind.  Why?  Because I wanted to relax a bit before facing her and these students were actually indirectly helping me do it.  So I was actually thanking them where I would have usually cursed them.  That set me thinking.  I was same and so was she and so were her other students.  But, my requirement has made all the difference in my feelings for them.  I had been “angry” when other students came to meet her and today I am “happy” that they are there to meet her and I wanted them to stay a bit “longer too”.  Nothing had changed except my need to get that extra time to calm my senses.  And that had made all the difference.  It means my feelings were reflection of my need.  It means my feelings depended upon my motive – which were subject to change depending upon my requirement at that point of time. “Oh, my God!” and I had been thinking all these days that I was angry with her other students because I “loved” her and hence didn’t wish to share her with others.  It was not so.  “I am what I read”.  It means, “My feelings only reflect my state of mind”, it means “my anger reflects my expectations, it doesn’t talk about my situation at all!” -  it has nothing to do with my Guru or her other students.  I was confused.  I felt cheap.  I couldn’t face her today.  Poor lady, I had showered her with so much of negativity and yet she never complained.  On the contrary, I was complaining saying “she was being partial”.

“I am what I read” I had to digest this and for that I needed to be alone for sometime. With a slight nod of head I signaled to her saying “I am leaving” and left in a hurry.  She nodded her head in agreement.  She didn’t stop me. I thanked her for that.  She was still talking to others as I closed the gate behind me…….

Me, My Guru - I am what I am

...contd....

After few minutes Priya asked me “So, what is your commission from Vidya?” I was like stunned and hurt.  Here I had helped her and instead of thanking me she was taunting me for doing this for a commission.  Usually I would end up crying or become cynical..but this time I played this statement in my mind “You are what you read” and I immediately understood the situation.  Priya was the type who would never help others unless she benefited in some way through that transaction…in other cases she would simply give some excuse and vanish from the scene….she assigned her own character to me…she didn’t and couldn’t accept that someone can do things for others without wanting some benefit for themselves…”She could see others as herself only”.  A person wearing yellow glasses sees the world tainted as yellow only.  Likewise how could she know that what she wasn’t is also is a possibility of being and that someone could be just that?  She couldn’t see my friendly nature because she herself didn’t have it…what she didn’t have she can’t know and what she doesn’t know how can she read that? So that way “she was what she read” she wasn’t reading me or understanding me……her understanding on the other hand reflected who she was or what her character was! That’s all!” I completed my explanation panting with excitement…..

Midway through my explanation my Guru had turned around looking at me and smiling…when I completed she simply said “mmmm. That’s all! Apply it again and see…” saying this she went to talk to other student and I knew that was it for the day…..

I was bit dejected and turned to go……may be there was more to come I said to myself and left her place……

...contd....

Me, My guru

Me, My Guru

It was 10 days since I met her last. I was excited about today’s meeting.  Very rarely, I understand what she has said or explained experientially. This was one such time.  I was excited to share this knowledge with her. My hands were shaking when I opened the gate of her house…I smiled. She would tell me “It’s just an experience…yes, even an understanding is just an experience. Why do you give so much of importance to it?  If you are excited about it or feel proud about your understanding or an experience, then it means you are bound by it – and that my dear, is no good..have an understanding, apply it and then move on..be available to the next understanding…so now drop your excitement!” I have heard her say it so many times yet I couldn’t live it……like most of her sayings….

This was for some other time….now was the time of understanding “You are what you read”….

She was feeding some pigeons and her back was towards me…I tiptoed near her.”So! this one understanding has got you so much excited. Yeah? Fine, tell me” she said without even turning around to see who it was….

My excitement gave rise to surprise but I gulped my surprise and started “the other day I met Priya.  She looked  a bit tensed. I enquired and she said they had a function in their place the next day and the caterer had gone back on his word because of a death in his house..she had arranged for everything else….and where would she get a caterer at such short notice…she was worried. I simply smiled and offered to enquire with the couple of caterers that I knew.  While she waited I dialed Vidya and asked if she was willing to take this order at such short notice…she immediately agreed and I put Priya on phone and she fixed Vidya for her function.

and....

...contd...