On feedbacks etc....

On feedbacks etc........

Let’s agree to disagree!

How much do opinions matter?

Feedback doesn’t mean you ‘cut paste’ some quotation in the comments section....that would be good on  your whatsapp group activity list, not here....say something substantial not to sound ‘great or wise’.....and before writing something read it and understand it...don’t write for others....if your personality and life activities are diametrically opposite to your words, then think, whom are you impressing? Do all that in your ‘FB/whatsapp/ and all other sites where you can fish for ‘likes’ ....here people who converge are such of souls who want to transform themselves and working on healing themselves and working on their limitations and short-comings....don't make it a place where forwarded messages are sent or received.....

one good feedback was ....

“....i wanted to tell that I disagree with what you say but was afraid.......”

How many times each one of us must have thought this thought? Scores of times.....

And with whom – mostly our near and dear ones...and the few ‘unfortunate ones’ even with outsiders like colleagues, servants and even with strangers. Here, I am taking into account such of people who ‘intentionally hide facts’ from others for reasons better known to them with the sole intention of cheating, fooling the others or to get away with their little crimes – of passions!

So, normal people want to be honest especially with near and dear ones. But end up not being honest as they are afraid of hurting people who matter to them. At the same time they don’t want to mess up their relationship with these people. At such times, we hold our relationship more important and higher to our opinions and so let it be.

The reason behind this act is no doubt good. There can’t be any other way of looking at it. But, inspite of having and good reason we mess up our relationship in the long run. Surprised? Let me explain. When we are dishonest, fear creeps in or in other words, where there is fear, only at places dishonesty exists. Well, the fear is that of hurting the other – yet there is fear. That is not all good sign for any long term relationship. 

Yes, in any good relationship sweet lie is a must. Some times truth can really hurt and an innocent lie can avoid it. For example during pregnancy and after delivery when a woman asks “how do I look?”, you need not be too ‘honest’ there. Don’t blabber statements like “God, you look fat”, you’ve lost it” etc. She’s gone through a lot physically, emotionally – so don’t hurt her psychologically too! its OK to say some good words. You need not lie but can still say something which is not a lie yet not hurting like “You look beautiful always to me”. It’s not a lie and yet....truth need not always be hurtful. That is where ‘clarity of thought’ expresses itself. A fool following the rule “I’ll tell only Truth” will hurt the other in the name of Truth, whereas the wise will not lie, yet will package truth from different angle. Coming to our topic of being honest – why do we think we hurt others when we disagree on some issue? All through I’ve been talking about ‘clarity of thought’ and ‘ego’. Right from first class, I’ve always stressed the importance of “Who am I?” and “Knowing self”. I’ve explained umpteen times that me identifying with what is not me is called ego. Read link “ego”  http://kantipadam.blogspot.in/search?q=ego  for further classification. One of the things we wrongly identify as ‘ourselves’ is ‘our opinions’.

....contd.......

on feedbacks etc.....

Contd.....

Now coming to question asked by me “What am I worth etc?”

Firstly, let me thank you all for all the answers that you gave me. One thing that was common in your answer was “Value can’t be assessed based on money that I earn”. So, I understand it as “I am a worthy person inspite of ‘materialistic or productive outputs’ in tangible assets not being produced or created by me”. I hope I have got it right! Did I?

And you also said “Even when I don’t contribute through blogging 

(too), even then I am worthy of my existence. I am not a burden on this Mother Earth. My just being is enough”. Good!

As also observed by you, I have intrinsic value which need not be appreciated by all and sundry. Only people who value what I can give will value my worth. Others can’t understand all this as their yardstick of measurement is very limited. Did I get it right?

“Sometimes, we are placed in a position where our worth becomes questionable under ‘some peoples’ norms of assessment’. But that doesn’t make us ‘want’ to prove to these people who can’t or won’t understand. I need not stop celebrating being me! I can still be happy about where I am!” – I’ve compiled your answer thus. Hope I am right!!!

If I am right, then why are YOU sad, depressed, listless, unhappy, angry or feeling low and worthless?

Your explanation clearly gives out your understanding. So, don’t start with “yes maam, but...”.

What applies to me does it not apply to YOU too?

Are rules for SELF WORTH different for both of us?

This is exactly what I’ve been trying to explain – since God knows when and you end up saying “true Guruji, but.....you don’t understand”. Not important that I do. Important is that YOU DO! And YOU Do that’s good news. Your answer proved it! And God am I glad to hear that from you all? It’s just that you are not applying that understanding to your own situation and experience.

Before explaining further, I would like to congratulate you on your

‘principles’ too! – As one of you observed, everything and everyone is valued against money ONLY!  But only by people who themselves are ‘greedy’. When you didn’t value thus, it doesn’t apply to all...right? and yes regarding people who value everyone against money, even GOD can’t save a person whose ‘principles’ (no pun intended) tell him to complain that ‘his in-laws didn’t gift a BMW’. Yes, you are right in giving that example to state ‘peoples’ values’. These people don’t have any. Their ONLY value is to tag on to someone or others for the fulfillment of their desires. That shows that the person is at the 'lowest step of spiritual ladder". You all are so young and just

kids and yet are so well balanced to speak out against being ‘dependent on parents’ for the fulfillment of ones’ desires! Kudos to you all! Not only are you being independent but are also being responsible towards your family. And you kids are also doing your bit of charity in your life inspite of so many responsibilities. I really am proud of all of you who are doing this. But, keep doing it. Never stop. How much is not important, but think of ways of giving and sharing with others less privileged than you...God bless you ....

contd..... 

read related posts http://kantipadam.blogspot.in/search?q=il+dolce+far+ninete

Sadhan on sunsets

 

Sadhan on sunsets

For the last one week, we took upon ourselves to watch Sunset together daily for one whole week.

I did – religiously (as ever!?) every single day!

Some did this exercise.

Few didn’t - with excuses.

Others found the whole exercise not beneficial (!?) and so didn’t do!

What happened?

The whole of this – mostly in Hyderabad (of India) it was either cloudy or raining. So, it was not possible to do this exercise literally!

Some didn’t even go out at the appointed time thinking ‘oh, it’s cloudy so its waste of going’.

Some cursed their fate for not being able to do it because of rain. Some of them even thought it was ‘bad sign’?!

Contd....

# sunsets and sunrises, on little joys of life, miracles of life, wow moments, everything happens for good, abundance, life as it is, awareness, mindfulness, being available to the miracles of life, happiness, state of mind, 

also read previous post : https://kantipadam.blogspot.com/search?q=on+feedbacks+etc...

Pointers to this post :

"Some didn’t even go out at the appointed time thinking ‘oh, it’s cloudy so its waste of going’." - We usually do this with most of the things in our life. "Oh, I will any how not get a prize, what is the use of participating?"

"Oh, we anyhow can't afford foreign trips, why talk about it or see such videos?"

"Oh, we can't afford such houses, why look at them?"

"Oh, i won't become famous as a singer or earn money out of it, why learn to sing?"

and many more ....we miss out on learning something or just watching something etc because we are always 'target oriented people'. And if our action doesn't get converted into a 'target' like we desire, we as well don't do it. That is so sad! Play for the sake of playing - not just for prize. After all, we are not professional players, so what difference does it make if we lose in office matches or in our colony? Enjoy the game! One who enjoys wins even when he loses!

Learn to sing, dance, paint or anything - not because it is 'money minting' for you - but because it can calm you. It can give you joy that no money earned can give you....trust me, don't miss out on that joy. It is so easy to reach and get. Try! Sing as if no one is listening and dance as if no one is watching!

Similarly, do pooja, exercise, cooking, cleaning joyfully not expecting any results - but since you are to do it - you as well do it with joy. 

on feedbacks etc....

Contd.....

So, you say we shouldn’t have these desires? We should leave everything and go in search of God?

No inspite of the fact that that is the Ultimate and only place worth going. Even if you go to Himalayas now leaving everything behind, you still carry that little heart of yours that has desires – so you can’t find – no one can find God with such an agitated mind. Then?

Have desires – because that is the basis of creation and world order. Yes, ‘want’ to be married, raising kids, having assets etc are a pre-requisite for world order – yes – ‘Gruhastashram’ – the stage of a house-holder is the key to maintaining world order i.e., all other section of society – Brahmacharya, vanaprastha and sanyasin (bacherlerhood, old age and monks and ascetics) they all depend on the house-holder for taking care of them. As per world statistics the population of all European countries is growing at less than 1.8 % and it has been found that no civilization can reverse if that number falls below 3.  So, in another 40-50 years all European Civilizations are to be more or less extinct. It means for every two European if there is one child as the ratio is 1.8 and less, then in 20years population has already fallen down to 50% and it means more children and old people and less youngsters to be productive work-force and less still will be their offspring. So, that way their numbers keep dwindling and will be extinct sooner than later.

So, you see this is an important role a person needs to play to keep the world in order – for the traditions, civilization and race to continue. Wanting to own a house or to earn in million is also NOT WRONG  -  it is infact right because that means more productive society and that is progress everywhere. Wrong it is when all this I want to be put on platter by my parents or in-laws and served to me! That is ADHARMA. I wanting and desiring to be world’s richest man is ‘DHARMA’ and ‘SWADHARMA’ if I am willing to work for the fulfillment of my dreams too! go for it! You have it in you and yes you can do it too!

But, just because your desire of ‘getting married, having kids, having a purpose in life, job etc’ doesn’t happen now doesn’t mean you go into depression and feel helpless and desperate and its’ allied feelings. No! A big no!

Something is not happening now doesn’t mean it’ll not happen in future!

The other day I received a call from ‘Singapore’ wishing me. I laughed and said “but the day hasn’t arrived yet” and the caller said “as ever you are behind me in this too!” it was a timely joke but it stuck with me till I received a call from US next day. To that caller I said “You are late in wishing by one day!” and the caller said “but here it is still that day! But then you always have been ahead of me always!” That did it to me. At any give point of time, I am behind someone (always!) in this world (infact thousands of them) and ahead of equal number of them. Yet, I am where I am. I am not backwards or forwards as I presumed to be when I related myself with either of them. Understand that everyone is right as per “their time zone”. Neither late nor early!!!

contd..... 

read related posts http://kantipadam.blogspot.in/search?q=patience

On being truthful!

 

On being truthful!

“Practice truthfulness. Twelve years of absolute truthfulness in thought, word and deed gives a man what he wills” – Swami Vivekananda.

Read what the Swamiji says again and again to get it right.

He says – Practice truthfulness for twelve years. No bending the rules there. Practice should be in toto – IN THOUGHT, WORD AND DEED. Only then, the sadhan is complete. We can’t bend the rule to our convenience and then demand that we gain the power to materialize our thoughts or desires into reality.

Don’t expect the other – be it your parent, Guru or God to practice it for you and pass over to you the fruit of that sadhan. What would you call a person who expects so? What are the qualities that you associate with such a person?

Now, coming to our “Practice truthfulness” – sit on it.

Meditate on it.

Think about it.

And then, come back with your thoughts.

All your thoughts when put together may actually give you a better perspective.

********** 

# being truthful, honesty, character, destiny, power over fate, becoming powerful, overcoming Nature, yogic practices and their benefits, 

read further on this topic https://kantipadam.blogspot.com/2017/02/on-feedbacks-etc.html 

This is one of the best threads you can get hooked to.....

so many of your questions were answered and to me in such a simple way......

do revisit this link and get back with your observations, understandings and questions addressed.......