confusion

“My spouse doesn’t understand or I am good but not my spouse” has already been dealt with. Remember the “dirty window story.”

Confusion

What’s the causative factor for confusion?

Before dealing with the healing of confusion, let’s look into the factors that contribute to confusion. They can be broadly categorized as:
· Fear
· Expectations
· Connectivity between totally unrelated subjects/ thoughts
· Not having clarity of thought – especially towards what we want and how we wish to go about getting it.
· Mind that pops up dozen to a minute thoughts

Fear – Fear that adds to confusion is:
· Fear of not getting that we wish to get
· Fear of losing that we have
· Fear of the unexpected

The basis of any fear is always ignorance. And the add on to any fear is an assumption. The day we understand this, we’ll face fear as an enemy that doesn’t have an entity. That which is unknown is always feared – not out of logic but out of habit which stems from the mindset which says every unknown is to be feared. “Known devil is always preferred over an unknown God”. Every situation, person, belief system etc known is considered as a safe bet – however uncomfortable or painful it be – it still is preferred over the unknown better possibility. Only a person who is ready to let go off the security of the anchor will sail towards the yonder shores of happiness and success.

Fear of not getting is baseless. That which is not yours yet – how can you experience the pain of losing it. It’s all the mind game. Beware of it. Woh jise tumne abhi payaa nahin use khone ka gam kaisa? And that which will leave you sooner or later – well there is no point crying over the possibility of losing it too. Come to think of it – every thing in the world is transient (be it body, relations, money, name, fame and anything that comes to your mind) and is bound to leave you sooner or later – what is it that we can be sure of for ever? Nothing. Only thing that is certain in the entire universe is Uncertainty. So our longing to hold things and to retain them so for ever, is a wasteful effort.

बेह्टर थो है यही के न दुन्या से दिल लागे
पर क्या करें जो काम न बे-दिल-लगी

It’s better that I do not get enchanted by this world
But I can’t get around without being enchanted.

“If you love something/someone, just let them free. If they come back, they are yours. If they don’t they never were yours.” What is not yours cannot be lost because you didn’t own it in the first place. Right?

Humein unse hai wafa ki ummeed jo nahin jaante wafa kya hai

I am expecting fidelity from the person who doesn’t know the spelling of it….

So, the expectation is at fault. To expect what you want from what ever source you wish can only give you pain. And this pain is purely self-inflicted. It has nothing to do with the source from which you expected.

The mind that is not calm and that which is agitated pops up dozen thoughts /minute. It connects unrelated issues and tries to bring senseless logical connection between them and generates pain, anger, depression etc in us. Every single incident is complete by itself. Do not connect it with any incident/ thought of past /present /future. The connectivity brings in confusion and pain or related feelings.

Now sadhan is the only way to heal all these. Lack of clarity of thought and ultimately being unaware of the Truth is the causative factor of all the above mentioned feelings /emotions. Fear is the mother of all sins and ignorance the father. Remove them and we have removed all the causes and effects of pain and suffering.

And the techniques to first loosen up fear and ignorance and then to completely remove them are:
· Rebirth meditation with fear and ignorance (at least five times with each of this attitude)
· Let go meditation with the same
· Full-body reiki
· Go through the blog “Preventive maintenance and maintenance free life” and follow the steps given for preventive maintenance in all aspects of life.

Have I made myself clear or any more explanation needed? Please let me know….

Ultimately remember, no amount of explanation will address the issue. Explanations only indicate where the problem is. But the solution lies in healing only. And I have already stated the techniques for various healings needed. Only sadhan ultimately heals us and gives us the results we wish or desire for. No amount of talking would help in any way what so ever if it is only heard. So start working on the understanding for the results to come your way….

May you understand the need for healing and persist in healing yourself and the situation till you experience “poornamadam” every moment is complete and blissful………

revathi

Garments

The basis of any good relationship should be and can be only when we agree to disagree.

The statement clearly explains that two persons are agreeing to disagree with each other’s opinion. Opinion is just not a conclusion that we arrive at based on facts & figures available to us. We add the tinge of our experiences, prejudices and also our feelings related with the related experiences to the facts and figures and view it and then stamp it as our opinion. This is not correctly arrived at as we are viewing the entire world with tainted glasses of ‘my likes and dislikes’. So our opinions change the moment we have a paradigm shift and our perspective has undergone a change. So why hold on to the shifting opinions so dearly that I am ready to let go off my near and dear ones for the sake of an opinion?

Opinion is mine, but I am not the opinion. It may change tomorrow but I still will be the same. So, I am clear that we can agree to disagree with regards to the opinion but still be loving and respecting each other for what we are.

Garments

Once upon the time, Beauty and Ugliness went for a bath in a sea. They both undressed and swam in the waters. After sometime, Ugliness came back to shore and garmented herself with the garments of Beauty and walked her way.

Sometime later Beauty came out of the sea and not finding her garment, not wanting to go naked took the garment of Ugliness, wore it and walked her way.

And to this day men and women mistake the one for the other.

Yet, for some there are who have beheld the face of Beauty and they know her notwithstanding her garments. And for some there will be who know the face of Ugliness and the cloth conceals him not from their eyes.

I have always found some statements that doesn’t make any sense like “She is good but is dark”.
“He is good but poor boy not so good looking”

Such statements talk about our confusion and conflicting stands rather than about the other person. When we say “she/he is good but not so good looking” we are actually mixing two issues which are not at all connected. What has looks got to do with the good character? But, we say “she is dark, poor girl” as if it were a sin to be dark, as if it were a negative quality. Colour of the skin doesn’t guarantee the character of a person. Krishna, Rama and all gods are considered dark. Westerners spend so much of money to get the tan which we are naturally endowed with. Dark skin has melanin more in quantity which is natural UV ray protector and insulates against all sun-burns and sun related, skin related diseases. This blessing is considered a curse. What a pity! Fair skinned flaunt their tan and the dark skinned spend millions for getting that unattainable fair skin. What a state of mind! What we have is never good. What we don’t have is the only good thing and worth having. Right? Think about it.

From today let us just say “she/he is good” and “she/he is dark skinned” as two separate statements but never in the same breathe. Likewise, when we talk of some one’s attitudes then it is only “she/he is good” – period – there will be no mention of the colour of their skin. Let us be very clear about what we say and how we think.

Why? What difference would it make if we say as we are used to saying? Well, it talks about confusion in thinking and the energy which is generated is that of confusion. Confusion energy is a negative energy which is going to reflect as confusing events /situations in life. And I am sure, no intelligent person wishes to have confusion reigning in their lives. So, if you want crystal clear way of thinking and living, then start at the point of beginning which is “thought”.

Got any more such statements which are self contradictory? Let’s discuss them if you wish.

revathi

Only I am Right!

“If I am right, all others who don’t agree to my opinion aught to be wrong.”
“If he is right, I am wrong.”
“Only one of us can be right”
“Either he or I am right. Tell us who it is?”

This Belief System puts us on the defensive or aggressive side (depending upon my character) and I automatically consider the other to be my rival whom I need to prove wrong. But, it is not so. Both of us can be right individually and yet not agree with each other. For eg. When five blind men touch the elephant, first one said “elephant is so small and so thin (He was holding elephant’s tail). The second one said “No, certainly not. It is so huge and erect. He was holding the leg of the elephant. The third disagreed with both as he touched the trunk of the elephant and said “but it is so long, not so fat but yet thin and moving to and fro”. The fourth who was standing between two legs shouted at all the others calling them blind and said “the elephant is not as any of you say. It is like two pillars with space in between.” The fifth who touched the tummy brusted out laughing and said “Oh ye fools, elephant is oval in shape and spreads along the sides”. All of them were right, yet none of them knew that the other was also right. Similarly,

Upon the road of Kalinga, a traveler met a man who lived in a nearby village and the traveler pointing with his hand to a vast field asked the man saying “Was not this the battle-ground where King Ashoka overcame his enemies?”

And the man answered “this was never been a battle ground. This has never been a battle-ground. There once stood on this very field the great kingdom of Kanishka which was over-powered and plundered. But now, it is a good field, is it not?”

And the traveler and the man parted.

Not a half mile farther the traveler met another man and pointing to the field he again said “So this was where the kingdom of Kanishka was. Right?”

And that man immediately said “No, no. There never was Kanishka here. There was a monastery but was destroyed by people of foreign origin. And now, it is a great field.”

Now the traveler moved further along the road and sat down under the tree. There came a third man to whom the traveler said “So, there was a huge monastery as this place once?”

That man gave a odd look to the traveler and explained “There never was a monastery in this neighbourhood, but our forefathers have told us that once there fell a great meteor on this field.”

By now the traveler was totally confused. He met an old man who looked wise too. So he saluted him and asked him “sir, upon this road I have met three men who live in the neighbourhood and each denied what the other had to say about this field. Each in turn also had a new tale to tell that the other had not told. I am confused. Please enlighten me on this subject.”

The old man smiled and answered “ My friend, each and every one of these men told you what was indeed true; but few of us are able to add facts to different fact and make a truth complete thereof!”

Our opinions shouldn’t be our ego projections. They are at the end of the day only opinions which are bound to change over the period of time. Why be so protective about them? Opinions should help in knocking out our ignorance and help us in easing the situation and in bringing out the solutions to the fix we are in. Opinions shouldn’t be the problem creators, they are problem solvers.
Let us not identify ourselves with our opinions. They are ours. We are not because of them. We are not insulted if our opinions are rejected. Know this Truth. Apply it and become liberated.

The basis of any good relationship should be and can be only when we agree to disagree.

Any disagreements?

Revathi

Beliefs, beliefs and beliefs

"Poorna madam, poorna midam poornath poorna mudasyathe poornasya poorna mathaye poorna meva vashishyathe" is the statement that Monali has explained....will be dealt with when the time comes......

But they are educated। How can they behave like that?”

Such statements are fundamentally illogical statements.

What’s wrong with this statement?

First, the way term education is understood and used. When we say, they are not educated or they are educated, we mean they are literates/ illiterate. Being Literate doesn’t make a person educated. They are two different things. Any person can be a literate fool. Likewise, we have so many illiterates who are highly educated. This statement gives us a supposition of the character or attitude of a person who is educated. But, are all people educated in the first place?

“Literate is one who is above 7 years and can read and write with an understanding in any language.” This is the definition of a literate. Where is it given that a literate is also cultured? And that his character is molded? It is only our supposition or understanding which is at fault. We came to presume that once a person is literate, he is also cultured.

Is it not a common sight in any big /small city to see people litter around in parks / public places without any civic sense? And these are the same ones who say “My God, India is such a dirty country. All because of uneducated people (here they mean illiterates!). But, the same person wouldn’t dare litter around or spit in public places, jump traffic signals, break civic rules in the foreign countries. When they come back from the foreign country, they talk so high of neatness there. Then, how come they don’t follow those rules here and didn’t when they were in India all their growing years?

Few years back the tragedy that struck Nepal Monarchy family was the happening in “an educated and a good family” only. “They are from good family” and “they are educated” tag doesn’t insulate any person against any emotions, attitudes or crime.

“All the blue-collared crimes /scandals are always committed by the well-to-do people and highly educated” only. Do I need to name them? Harshad Mehta, bofors, Clinton and Reagan’s issue, Britney and Michael Jackson and the list never seem to end of celebrities who are creating havoc in their and others lives. They all are from “good families” and are also “educated”. The ragging deaths, Jessica lal case also reflect your “good family and educated” background. But, are they reflected in these peoples’ actions. So, the correction should be made. These people are just literates. They are not educated. So, they have flaws that you and I have – variation is in the degree only.

Every case is an individual case. Don’t ever generalize. Treat every case as an independent one. Just drop “but, how can they?” they are showing by being what they are, so how can you question “but, how can they? “They just are.”

So truly said by Saint kabir who himself was an illiterate –
“पोथी पड़े जग मुवा पंडित भय न कोए

dआई अक्षर प्रेम का पढ़े सो पंडित होए”

he is not educated who has read n number of books,
only he is considered educated whose mastered two and half lettered word – prem (love) completely!

As I go to correct my language and their implications, you can too for yours……..

revathi

Belief systems

“But, I am not like them. We can’t be like them. God knows how they are like that!”
“I am Ok, but the world is not Ok”
“It’s always the other person who creates problem in my life!”
“But, I am so good….” Such statements and like are actually a Belief System that stops us from seeing the actual truth.

Who use it?

It is commonly used by one and all with an assumption that everyone else is wrong/ bad, but they are not so. It is called as indirect marketing of one’s image, which we consider as good. By stating that others are bad, we actually want to prove and establish the assumed belief that I am good.

But, if the goodness is in relative to people whom we consider as bad, then, is the goodness worth a dime? I doubt.

Just think about it. That means, I am good ONLY as long as they are bad. I presume it would be good news if they are bad for long. Because the day they become good, then I am no longer good. Bad news!!!!!!!!

Once, a newly married couple moved into a new flat. The lady would notice her neighbour - wash and dry her clothes through her window. They always appeared dirty. She used to always think that “This lady doesn’t know how to wash clothes!”

After a holiday, when the wife returned home, she noticed that her neighbour’s clothes appeared very clean. She thought “At last this lady has learnt to wash clothes.”

When she told her husband about this he said, “Darling, just yesterday, I had washed our window as it was too dirty.”

The women then realized her mistake. All the while, her window was dirty and she always thought the other woman didn’t know how to wash clothes.

Kabir said it so beautifully,
“बुरा जो देखन में चला मुझसे बुरा न कोई”

When I went into the world to look for faults, I didn’t find a person with as many faults as mine………

So, as I go to clean my window, you can go to clean yours (optional only),

Till then, keep smiling even as cleaning,

revathi

The Veil-its fabric

The Fabric of Veil!

Been loooooooong since I wrote. But, I am sure you liked this break and some of you must have even used it usefully. Now, I would like to know how it had been used usefully by you all….it’s for you all to write down……

As you write down your journey, I’ll continue from where I left.

The fabric of this veil called Ego is carefully woven day by day everyday with lots of hard work and imagination with the threads of Belief systems, emotions and psychic impressions. And the funniest part is we work so hard to keep something that doesn’t exist i.e., ego intact all through our lives.

The complexity of this fabric is realized if we are aware of the symptoms like being judgemental, complaining nature, comparing ourselves with others, jumping from one emotion to another like from pain to anger to hatred to depression etc.

I’ll just go through few Belief Systems. You be Aware and catch your own belief systems that’s entrapping you to your ego. For couple of days, we’ll go through the Belief systems and then we’ll look into the various techniques that’ll help us to break these and more Belief Systems from our system.

How about “but then, we are not saints. These and such weakness in our character is so normal among us lesser mortals.”?
“To err is human” for a start.

The actual meaning behind these statements is :

I am happy with the weaknesses that I have. Stop asking me to be a Saint. (Again, I create one more belief system that only Saints need to be above weaknesses. To lead a normal life, one needs to have these ego manifestations such as anger, attachment, pain etc.). I want to create misery in my life and in the life of the people whom I say I love. And to do that, I need these weapons. So, don’t expect me to drop them.
By stating or limiting ourselves as simple humans we wish to get away with all our limitations and idiosyncrasies.

Who use it?

Everyone understands clearly the ego game, but still is so drunk by ego that he doesn’t want to drop it. One who says wants happiness, but actually works only for being Unhappy.

How to fix it?

Start by accepting that we are not humans. We are divine souls who have come for human experiences. I’ll choose the experience. I’ll not be run by my ego and its demands. Each time I have a thought “but it is natural for a human” immediately replace it with “but I am a divine, peaceful, loving soul”.

Next step would be “Start being Aware”. Now Awareness means Being Mindful. Being mindful of our own mind games, emotions etc and still not be a part of it. Just being a observer of our emotions.

Pranayamam helps in being in the moment. It helps in being Mindful.

Benefit after dropping it :

Peace and happiness becomes our natural state. Calm descends on our persona. The usual compliment from others would be “I feel so peaceful just being with you/ talking to you / thinking of you” etc. We’ll be able to see things for what they are and not for the projections that the incidents/persons make. Clarity of thought is one of the best gift one can gift oneself with. It helps to improve intra-personal relationships. It helps the productivity of the person. It helps to improve one’s health too. Not a bad bargain I would say. So think about it!

“It may be easy for you, but for us….” Please don’t come up with this statement now!

All I’ll have to say then would be :

“bas ke dushwar hai har kaam ka aasan hona
admi ko bhi mayasser nahin, insaan hona.”

It is indeed difficult for all work to be easy
It is not easy for man to be a human either.
(Or is it that even man doesn’t want to be a human either?)


As I come up with other belief systems, work on this one from this moment onwards (only for those who want Happiness!).

revathi

The Veil

I, the most important person for Me

However, much we talk of our love for near and dear, we love ourselves more than the person we say or think we love.

Many a times I have come across relatives who say they are ready to give away their entire life savings to save their dear ones. But, no one dies with the dead. And the life moves on. Because, everyone knows instinctively that other person is a poor hostage for one’s own life. And the Truth is we love ourselves the most – more than our spouse and children inclusive.

Brihadaranyakopanishad declares that the mother never loves the child for child’s sake. She loves him for the sake of the joy that the child gives her. The husband never loves the wife. He loves the wife because of the joy she can give to himself – so on and so forth.

No one loves other for what they are. They love others for the joy that other person brings into their life.

If, this be true, then I better understand as to what is in me that I love the most. It must be the body! But, if the doctor gives me an option to amputate a leg or prick the eyes to save my lives, our choice certainly would be for an organ of knowledge over an organ of action.

Again, supposing an organ-of-knowledge say an ear is severely paining due to ulcer in the ear and the doctor suggests removal of ear to reduce the pain and disturbance in our mind, then I am sure I would sacrifice the organ-of-knowledge for the sake of the much more intimate and beloved entity in me, the mind. So, I know for sure that my mind is dearer to me than my organs of action and knowledge.

But, I have also read stories of freedom martyrs who have happily suffered physical pains and tortures just to live up to their ideals. How many stories of the rich and affluent we know who have sacrificed their lives for their ideals? Is it not evident that my intellect is much dearer to me than my mind?

So, it is evident that my body, mind, intellect and people in my life are not the source of ultimate joys in my life. The Factor that is most potent and active in body, mind and intellect i.e., the soul is the most loved by us all and it is the source of our maximum joy.

So, we can conclude that:

Body is mine, but I am not the body. So, body can have disease affecting it, still I can be at peace.

Mind is mine, but I am not the mind. So, mind’s thoughts are not mine and I need not suffer because of them.

Relatives are mine, but I am not the relation. So, my peace, attitude and happiness don’t depend on the type of relatives I have in my life. I can never be happy if I want to be happy because of people/relative in my life. I can be happy only in spite of their presence/ absence in my life.

Possessions are mine. I am not the possessions. They may come and they may go. But I am for ever. I can still go ahead and achieve and secure things and possessions in life. But still, my existence is not reflected by their presence/absence in my life.

…No one, except God, loves you for yourself
and not for your golden hairs…….
W.B.Yeats

revathi