Belief systems

“But, I am not like them. We can’t be like them. God knows how they are like that!”
“I am Ok, but the world is not Ok”
“It’s always the other person who creates problem in my life!”
“But, I am so good….” Such statements and like are actually a Belief System that stops us from seeing the actual truth.

Who use it?

It is commonly used by one and all with an assumption that everyone else is wrong/ bad, but they are not so. It is called as indirect marketing of one’s image, which we consider as good. By stating that others are bad, we actually want to prove and establish the assumed belief that I am good.

But, if the goodness is in relative to people whom we consider as bad, then, is the goodness worth a dime? I doubt.

Just think about it. That means, I am good ONLY as long as they are bad. I presume it would be good news if they are bad for long. Because the day they become good, then I am no longer good. Bad news!!!!!!!!

Once, a newly married couple moved into a new flat. The lady would notice her neighbour - wash and dry her clothes through her window. They always appeared dirty. She used to always think that “This lady doesn’t know how to wash clothes!”

After a holiday, when the wife returned home, she noticed that her neighbour’s clothes appeared very clean. She thought “At last this lady has learnt to wash clothes.”

When she told her husband about this he said, “Darling, just yesterday, I had washed our window as it was too dirty.”

The women then realized her mistake. All the while, her window was dirty and she always thought the other woman didn’t know how to wash clothes.

Kabir said it so beautifully,
“बुरा जो देखन में चला मुझसे बुरा न कोई”

When I went into the world to look for faults, I didn’t find a person with as many faults as mine………

So, as I go to clean my window, you can go to clean yours (optional only),

Till then, keep smiling even as cleaning,

revathi

Reflections

It was raining since yesterday. I always took advantage of rain to laze away my hours in watching rain drops pitter-patter on poodles, buildings, trees-just about everything. Today was no exception. I stood in the balcony looking at an apartment near ours. My eyes feel on the fifth floor balcony of that apartment on the window sill and the sun shade, I saw pigeons sitting close by. The sight was picture-perfect of purity, hard-work and beauty. I was lost looking them.

They were shifting their places with each other may be to avoid rain. They moved from the window sill to sun shade and back to window sill. They were working continuously and yet were cold and wet. I found it amusing could I call them stupid or innocent?? I wondered. But, none actually went into the balcony or go under the space under water tank.

This set me thinking. Hard work in every place doesn't guarantee comfort or respite from our problems. Is my hard work at the right place should be the Question I am asking myself to see why hard work doesn’t pay off as expected of it.....

I say I want to be free of pain and suffering, yet from one negative thought to another negative thought I go why?

And then I complain, though I try hard. I am not free from pain and suffering.

If success is all you want, If peace is all you want to experience, if happiness is the state you want to be then......

to leave negative thought, Feeling you don't need reasons...

..contd...

On absence, love and relationships!!!

I was in Kashmir since a month....being away from home and most importantly from 'Our Guru's place' made this stay differently difficult and yet it gave me it's own share of happiness to me... It was confusing to me all through....what was it that i was undergoing....there was a pain - a sweet pain of missing not going to 'her place' and attending those sessions (most of which i didn't understand and few i even didn't accept or figure out then) and yet now that i wasn't in a position to go, i felt the absence more than ever...

this was a strange feeling...i never thought i would miss our sessions or being at her place so much....i never knew she had grown so much into me...this office job actually did me good in this way of getting to reveal this facet of mine to me....

I had this strange habit of collecting pieces of paper lying around at her place whenever we went to do the cleaning work (or seva as others would say)....no one noticed and no one seemed to care...many times I didn't even read them, yet would collect them....and they came handy now....as i was packing to come to Kashmir on official trip, i decided without any reason to just take few of those pages with me.....i went through them in the evenings in the still of my room...they seemed to come alive - i can't explain how and why but they did....i had my share of experiences with them and my understanding seemed to have increased like never before....was it the beauty of the place, the serenity of the mountains that peeked through the window of my room...whatever it was , it seemed to work best here ... i liked it.......i was enjoying it.....the pain of absence brought with it a joy of knowing a presence felt that went beyond barriers of time and space.......

i looked out of the window.......the mountain peak filled with ice seemed to calm me and a smile lingered on my lips for a long time to come..........

"Is this all love was about?" I thought! "When we notice someone's absence and hate that absence more than anything? More, even than we loving their presence?"  This paradox hit me hard......and I let this thought put me to sleep.....

contd.....

Expectations and conditions

Contd........

Expectations and conditions

Type C are the people who were once type A or B type. But they kept healing themselves and accepted their flaw in perception and understanding and kept working on it. The trust came when anger, hatred, doubt reduced. As long as we have ‘conditions’ we can’t let the ‘grace’ that comes into our life. (Read the link given below to get this point)

We are the ‘stumbling block’ stopping abundance from coming our way.

‘Blessings work when ‘trust’ is present’. But as long as ‘condition’ or ‘demand’ exist, no amount of blessing works.

But, Type ‘A’ people use ‘trust’ as a tool to condition others. Trust is not a word. It doesn’t need proofs. It can’t be logically arrived at or understood. Where there is less hatred, selfishness, greed, conditions and more of acceptance there ‘trust’ is. Where there is anger and demanding nature, trust can’t exist. A person who expects other to do favour on him as his right will and can never develop trust. Only a person who has healed enough to be more responsible towards his needs has power to ‘trust’.

Even now, type ‘C’ people after reading will sit in meditation to comprehend this. They will work on their understanding through meditation.

Type A will start writing a mail or comment explaining themselves and their actions. They will justify themselves. They already are ‘right’ so where is the question of healing? So, they don’t and can’t sit to heal themselves.

Type D The Bindaas type : These are my personal favourites! These come to blog, don’t find a new post – simply shut the window and go on to watch some funny video or go on internet window shopping. They are happy that they don’t have something to read today! They got extra time to spend on their mega projects of going through all the shopping deals offered on the shopping sites! They now have time - extra to watch those videos that were forwarded by some random person on their multiple groups. They have no issues of emotions of Type A, B or C. But they come back statements like “oh, I was so frightened or is it not frightening situation etc”. I sometimes feel they are telling me indirectly to sit and do more healing as the situation outside is very grim. They are not actually worried but are just giving me heads up of the situation that I am supposed to heal! The bindaas types are the best type! No post, no worries kind! And so, they  find nothing to heal too most of the time……… I didn’t say “Bindaas” without a reason……….then why do they read this blog? Maybe, just to ‘do the task’ that I told them to…….whatever no issues with these ones! 

Contd........ 

# conditions, acceptance, trust, relationships, happiness, clarity of thought

Also reads :  https://kantipadam.blogspot.com/search?q=lalchiram 

Questions addressed : 

• What are the different conditions that people have and how they affect them?

Points to be understood :

• Difference between doing something mechanically and with a purpose
• How healing brings us from Point A to Point C over the period of time provided we are doing healing regularly and also working on our attitudes regularly.
• Why some peoples growth in personality and clarity of thought is better than many others even when both of them are doing sadhan regularly...

Life Hack :

Whatever you do - be it reading a book or listening to a song, enjoy doing it. Don't do it absent mindedly like a robot. 

A robot does things mechanically. What is the purpose of being human if you are doing even sadhan mechanically?

On congratulating all for being regulars with blog-posts

 

On congratulating all for being regulars with blog-posts

Three months is a long time – especially when the work was being done daily for so many years….

And yet I am glad to notice that many of you were regularly visiting the blog and revisiting the old posts and gaining something from it….

Kudos for that – to all!

The blog posts that are not having visitors will be removed from the net automatically. So if you people have benefitted from the posts then do your bit to keep all the posts intact!

It is very simple!

No money and no big work to be done here!!!

Just visit all the pages regularly – daily….

We are to see that all pages are visited regularly….

How?

Simple! One of you calls out to others to follow a certain month and year this month – say April 2010 and let other who wants to take up other month call out others to follow – let’s say November 2015….

Then others who don’t want to make any decision simple pick one of the persons who has picked the certain month and year and declare that he/she would be following that month/year….

And few others will follow the other person’s option of year and month.

 

This way we will have 3-4 group of people going through different month/year posts that month simultaneously….

Now, for this exercise not all of you may have time to read so many posts…

Then what to do?

Simple!

Open the first post of that month/year and keep the window open and do your work in the next window…..like that you can keep 2/3 windows for various pages of that month for say 30-40 mts…….

I hope I am clear……..

This way you can keep all the posts alive and benefit from them as and when you need them at a later date…..

The writing was my end of the job – I did well. Now to maintain that is your job if you want it……

***********                     

       

 

 

A miracle dog

.......contd....

The dog then moves to the front exit of the door and waits for the bus stop to arrive looking outside. As soon as the stop is in sight he wags his tail to inform the driver to stop. Then not even waiting for the bus stop to arrive the dog jumps out and runs to the house nearby. It opens a big iron gate and gate and rushes towards the door. As it approaches the door, he changes his mind and walks towards the garden. The dog walks up to the window and beats his head several times on the window. it then walks back to the door and waits. The shopkeeper maintaining his senses walks up to the door and watches a big guy open the door.

The guy starts beating, kicking and abusing the dog. The shopkeeper is surprised and runs to stop the guy. The shopkeeper questions the guy "What in the heaven are you doing? The dog is a genius he could be famous in life". The guy responds "you call this clever? This is the 3rd time in this week that the dog has forgotten the door keys".

Always remember "You may continue to exceed onlookers expectations.....but will always fall short of 'dissatisfied person' ". 

So, stop worrying about others' 'report card' and just excel in whatever you do......work on your self and become better with every day......

You may become a 'miracle dog'  to please the person whom you wish to win accolades from but you will remain 'just a dog'  for him and he will find some way to point out where you went wrong or fell short of! 

Don't let others abuse you because of your weakness to earn their kudos.

  

pranayamam

Hopefully, you all have practiced ‘pranayamam’ and also enjoyed its benefits. Now, it’s time to understand how it will be useful in bringing about our well-being both physically and emotionally, in dropping our acquired self & understanding SELF ultimately.

Once in a town called ‘Simhapuri’ lived a minister called ‘Sthirabudhi’. One fine day, the king of that town ordered Sthirabudhi to be executed for some wrong he did not do. He was ordered to be imprisoned in a tower which did not have any staircase or possible way of escape. He was left to himself, as everyone felt he could not escape from that tower.

His wife came and cried her heart out. She knew her fate was sealed as her husband had no way to prove his innocence. Her husband shouted from the window in the tower “Don’t cry. Just follow what I am asking you to do and by God’s grace we both can go out of this town for good by tomorrow morn”. She was surprised. She asked how it was possible. He simple asked her to bring an ant, a small bottle of honey, a bundle of silk thread, a bundle of twine thread, a bundle of rope. She found it odd but bring she did.

When she brought it after couple of hours, Sthirabudhi asked her to tie a silk thread to the ant. The silk thread was tied to the twine thread and that to the rope. The antennae of the ant was dipped in honey. Now the ant was asked to be placed facing sky wards on the wall of the tower.

The ant moved forward longing for honey. The silk thread moved along with it. When the ant went near the window, the minister untied the ant from the silk thread, held it and pulled it gently till he could get hold of the twine thread……..

It took long time and he was tired a bit, so took some rest,

We’ll also take some rest and come back in the next post to see what happens….

Me, my Guru On assigning values ...

Contd......

Me, my Guru

On assigning values ...

“Right and in relationships if we apply we can see that the person is valued not for what he is worth, but for what and how he is used by the other in his life. The stone was valued by each one based on it’s utility in his life, where only the ‘precious stone seller’ knew its real worth and fell flat on ground and confessed “I can’t assign value to it”. Similarly, people value their relationships based on how much their utility is there in their life. And that’s why Priya your husband considers you a ‘bad wife’ for not keeping house clean not because for whom you are but because he knows to assign value to you only

on the expectations that you have met of him. Nothing more, nothing less! For all you know, you may be a saint but that doesn’t mean anything to him. ‘You are good only as long as you fulfill my expectations’ is the keyword that governs all relationships. Hence, people tend to hurt ‘good and right’ people in their life because they haven’t fulfilled their expectations and demands. The fault is not of the other. It is the ‘character’ of assignee which is faulty!”

We all fell silent and took a tea break. We went within to check on all these. It was so true! How many times we much have said “as a wife etc it’s your duty to do it etc etc”. We demanded people to fit into our baggage of expectations because that eased our lives. They were never important to us. it was ‘my comfort, my likes, expectations, wishes and my prestige’ that mattered. The other person hardly mattered. And we wondered why never experienced love in our lives! How could we? As long people were to fill our needs how could we experience their real worth? And till I saw them for what they are, how could I love them?

(read comment..... http://kantipadam.blogspot.in/2017/02/what-is-self-worth.html?showComment=1487917123594#c5335460629342778787 

very well explained)

I ‘love’ only when ‘her’ mere presence is enough in my life! As long as I look for ‘what is her benefit if she doesn’t fulfil or play this role this way?’, how can I see the ‘kohinoor’ of the person that is! Never, no doubt I suffer in marriage and come home crying everyday thinking ‘she hasn’t cleaned the house!

With simple examples the whole of facts shone clearly in front of us! we saw ourselves for what we were and how we lived our relationships and life and to think that the one who was hurting was the one complaining! What an irony?

Contd......

related posts : http://kantipadam.blogspot.in/search?q=clean+my+window