different shades of gratitude

…contd….

 

Knowing a person’s feeling for you, if you can still do your part to that person then it is detachment. And I learnt that lesson painlessly. And in the process, even without my knowledge, life taught me what love was all about. And all thanks to my mother. Because, she wouldn’t cater to my needs, I learnt to fend for myself right from my 8^th year by running errands, teaching, stitching and what not. I became independent and also learnt to be contended with bare minimum. 

I would have lost all these valuable lessons if only my husband had been loving, supportive and standing up for me.  But no. he played his part well too. He was ever disgusted with me and my acts and expressed his dislike in his own silent way. This treatment initially did come as a shock for me – may be I was expecting affection atleast from him. But when I suffered extreme pain, that pain itself became my medicine and cured me off my expectations from him and his role. I again regained my detachment and independence. Maybe there’s a better and easier way of learning this lesson, but my teachers had been tough may be knowing me to be too laid back in easy atmosphere from my past lives.

 

I like where I am today. And these both people are instrumental in shaping me for what I am and for showing me my capabilities. They helped me to go within and unleash the strength that I possessed within. They helped me to get connected with myself. They showed me a possibility of being which I am proud of today. I am grateful to them for being instrumental in shaping me for good. I see myself as an iron lump which was burnt in fire and hit hard again and again by a hard hammer to get in shape. My mother and my husband played the role of fire and hammer in my life” concluded Radhika matter-of-factly. I searched for bitterness in her tone or her gesture. There was none. She was genuinely happy and was truly grateful to those two in her life.

 

I knew her to be a smiling, ever friendly, never complaining, soft-spoken. I had envied her many times for her calmness. Hearing this story of hers’ I realized how stupid I was to envy her. All these years I envied her for having a great life – for I assumed if she never complained it means she has it all. How wrong was I! On the contrary her life was no bed of roses – nay it was path of thorns. And yet here she was always seeing something good in situations and people, never expecting much and ever ready to help others.

 

....contd....