Yesterday, I asked that I be left alone, and here I am left alone…

Yesterday, I asked that I spend my days all lone in my house, and here I am sitting all alone in my house…..

Yesterday, I asked that my spouse become dependent on my (only that can boost my ego you see!) and today my spouse is sick and dependent on me….

Yesterday, I was jealous of my partner’s success and today my partner lost a thriving career…..

Yesterday, I said my family should be totally dependent on me….and today they can’t do a thing without my help….

Yesterday, I asked to become independent, and today my guide left me…..

Whatever I asked for yesterday – it has become my today………and yet today I cry for the same reason……..

(for eg: yesterday I complained and cried that I have a spouse who doesn’t depend on me and today I cry my spouse is depending on me….)

Why and how long should  my crying go on?

Is it the problem with my prayer or asking or is there anything else….?

When will my crying stop? When will my complaints stop and when will I thank for things I have? When, when will this happen?