Me, my Guru – On ways to hurt others!

                                                                                                                

Me, my Guru – On ways to hurt others!

"Guruji, I hate my husband. I want to hurt him – hurt him badly. Teach me to hurt him bad”. That was Swetha asking our Guru something most of us felt as some point of time in life.

“Me too, Guruji! I hate God. Tell me how I can get even with him” joined Vaishnav.

“and I my colleagues for teasing me often and ganging up against me..”

“my sister-in-law for putting my mother through so much….”

“my family for taking me for a ride all my life……”

“my parents for ill-treating me then…….”

So many joined this hate-band as the topic started.

Our Guruji simply got up to leave.

“But Guruji, how can you leave without teaching us to hurt these people in our lives?”  demanded Vaishnav with irritation and anger very evident in his voice.

Our Guru turned to look at him with smile on her face and said “Whatever gave you the idea that I can teach you everything?! I am not that qualified. I can just teach to drop lower qualities to embrace divine or noble qualities. I can talk about love. I can love. I can become love but hate…….”

“Is it not Guru’s responsibility to teach their students all that makes them happy?” demanded Vaishnav. 

Contd.......

#hate, love, relationship, happiness, abundance, expectations, resentment, anger, conditions, unhappiness, hurt

Questions answered :

• how to hurt people who hurt you?
• what it is to get even?
• best antidote for hate....

Me, My Guru – on being hurt and hurting

Me, My Guru – on being hurt and hurting

Contd.....

I sat head bent for how long in don’t know. The difference between her and me was just this – in an incident I looked at the other to find fault and protect self from being hurt, she looked within and corrected areas of her weakness, if any. No doubt, years of this practice has made her what she is and I was where I was! We

both had same chance but one used to question the rage that rose within and the other justified the rage that rose within! I held others responsible for my happiness and hence was angry, hurt, frustrated when they behaved contrary to my expectations. She held herself responsible for her pain and suffering and worked on her conditioning, attachments and attachments every time she was hurt.

I was working towards ‘creating my hell’ and she was labouring towards ‘her heaven’. I died thousand times in my hell.

And she died to be in her heaven.

Both were working incessantly. It’s just that results were different.

It’s true that hard work gives success. But if hard work is not in the right direction then the results can never be right!

Every hard work can't give 'right results'.....

Concluded.....

related posts : https://kantipadam.blogspot.in/search?q=faults

On receiving Grace

 

On receiving Grace

Dear one,

You have been wronged – I understand.

You are hurt – I understand.

You are denied your right – I understand.

And you are angry, hurt and frustrated – I understand.

You wish to see the persons who hurt you be hurt. You feel powerless, helpless and hopeless. You feel bad.

You can’t see the wrong having good time – I understand.

If, (I say – IF!?) he has wronged, he’ll suffer his karma – when his time comes.

If he’s slapped you today, he won’t be slapped tomorrow. That’s not how karma works!

It has its own timetable. But it’ll slap him!

There are no buts and ifs here – be rest assured!

“I love this ‘karma’. Every person who has hurt me will be dealt with” says you!

Look into this ‘Law’ closely. Does it say ‘special excuses to people belonging to XYZ category’?

No – Rama and Krishna (Both considered incarnations of Lord Vishnu – one of the Trinity Gods of Hinduism) weren’t left out of it!

No one is left out of receiving consequences of karma.

So as you are happy when the wrong doer receiver punishment, then also know and accept, you’ll also receive consequences of your karma. 

Contd.... 

# on receiving grace, karma, consequences of karma, give and take, grace, 

also read : https://kantipadam.blogspot.com/search?q=grace 

PS : If you have any other post from this blog related to this topic, give the link to it for all to benefit. 

Points to be considered : 

• What exactly is the Law of karma and how it functions?
• It is so easy to see the wrong done to us and justify our wrongs. That is the cause of pain and suffering!
• Clarity is when we can see our actions and others in the same light and apply same rule for both!
• What we wish for others is exactly what we are attracting for ourselves! Be aware of it!  

Share a thought or feeling : 

How does greenery make you feel?

What does looking at sunset affect you? 

or any such thought or feeling.....

A look at a tree or any of its parts - say flower, leaf, branch anything makes me stop then and there and marvel at the beauty of the life and the greatness of its Creator!

Trees in all their forms and shapes fill me with happiness and I am not aware of the daily 'painful facts' of my life! 

They enrich me with peace, smile and a twinkle in my eye!

Rules and regulations for a Master

 

Rules and regulations for a Master

“Tell me, Guruji, how should a Master behave? What are his traits? What rule should he follow as a Master?” asked Vaishnav clearly wanting to find fault with our Guru’s behaviour. 

Our Guru replied with a smile “To master oneself, there are rules and regulations. To overcome one’s ego there are virtues to be developed. To transcend one’s samskaras (psychic impressions) one has to follow rituals and rules. 

But once the individual has transcended his karma, once he has ‘mastered’ over his nature he need not follow any rules.

Once a person has mastered selflessness and experienced ‘self’ he can behave as he chooses. However he behaves that is ‘right’.  Master cannot be bound by a student’s definition of right and wrong. But a student can be pointed his flaws and slips by the Master “saying so our Guru kept quiet.

We didn’t know what to ask after that and so kept silent – externally! 

Concluded....

# qualities of a Guru, me, my Guru, 

also read  : https://kantipadam.blogspot.com/search?q=qualities+of+a+guru 

https://kantipadam.blogspot.com/search?q=intention 

read the link to understand what a Guru does and how he can do and does it : https://kantipadam.blogspot.com/search?q=jabala 

Questions addressed : 

• What are the qualities that a Guru should have?
• What are the limitations that bind a Guru?
• Which traits of Guru are wrong?
• How to recognise a Guru?
• How long should we follow rules and regulations?
• What is the purpose of 'rituals' and 'dharma'?
• What is freedom and when does one get it?

Pointers in the post : 

“Tell me, Guruji, how should a Master behave? What are his traits? What rule should he follow as a Master?” asked Vaishnav clearly wanting to find fault with our Guru’s behaviour. - This looks like a harmless question on the first look of it. But look within and you see layers of anger, judging, envy etc in this question.

Why does one ask a question? - This is something we don't notice or think much about. A student who is being corrected by his master regularly gets so angry with him that he wants to find some reason to hurt him and find fault with him. In the process he again seeks the help of 'Guru' to hurt the Guru! What an irony!

Apply it with and in every relation where we are submissive because of other person's age, position or relationship - like parent, elders in the family, boss or your teacher and like. They have our good in mind when they correct us or point us our flaws. Sometimes, the method used or the way it is told may be wrong, but the intention of the person is not personal. They have our good at heart and our of intimacy may chide us but still that is only for our good. But we in our ignorance find it irritating and insulting. And we harbour that anger over the years and wait to get back to them. We hurt them in ways many and so many times. We harbour anger and are brewing it day in and day out......think about it! 

Assuming, they have hurt us, even then how many times they have extended us support? See how many times they have taught us well. See how many times they have given so much in so many ways! And yet, we are angry at them for few times (we presume!) they have hurt us!

And we think 'our logic and reasoning' to be right in being angry?

"Look at the answer given by the Guru" - That doesn't mean all the things 'so called Gurus' do and so they are in jail is valid. Don't understand the right answer the wrong way! Kudos to logic that sends us on this stupid road! Meditate on this. What does this mean? Why it is ok for Guru to kill and wrong when you and I are even angry at others? Even a thought of killing someone is wrong when you and I do but when Krishna kills, it is absolute 'Dharma'. Why? 

Next apply it with every relationship - we have a rule book on how 'they are supposed to' behave and we go with an assumption that we are 'perfect'. The basis of our wrong understanding in this logic and basis of our argument. Look into this aspect of every relationship and see how we have been 'wrong' in our expectations and conditions from our relationships.........

Don't let logic to twist your understanding..... 

Today's Miracle : 

Yesterday someone told "You know the worst thing about Corona - I can't taste my food. There is no good eating now" Now this person is a foodie and so the pain is much more for this person.......

how many times we take 'having ability to taste' for granted? Today, i sat to thank for still having it. I may not have chappan bhog  (loosely translated 7 course meal ) i.e., 56 variety of items to eat but still whatever gruel i drink i still am able to taste......thank God for that! and this thanks is not just verbal - mind you!

We miss out on living and life while we look at things that we desire for and not having right now with us.

We miss out living and celebrating people in our life while we cry for ones not in our life.

We don't use things and enjoy with them for we curse our fate for not being able to have those things which we long for!

In all this process, "WE" are choosing to suffer. 

We have this moment only once - once gone we can't retrive this moment. Do we want to spend it crying and complaining or being thankful and happy? 

We can work towards our goals and desires longing for them, crying for them, being jealous of people who already have it, getting angry at people whom we expect to fulfill our desires OR

we can keep working towards what we wish to acquire in life with a smile on our lips and song in our heart?

Our choice reflects who we are!

Our choice reflects if we are using our logic to our benefit or for our downfall?

Our choice reflects our 'Destiny'!

Choose wisely!

Me, My Guru – Hiss, but don’t bite

 

 Contd....

Me, My Guru – Hiss, but don’t bite

Pointers to understand this post:

“Even if people passed our Nagaraj, it would simply slide away. Slowly people realised that it was not biting anyone anymore. Even children understood this. They no longer feared it. sometime passed. Children became so aggressive that they would stone it. It hurt badly. It would bleed and yet it didn’t bite anyone. People knowing this incident became more ferocious and vicious and started hitting it with stones and sticks whenever it came out in search of food.” – Just because you have decided to change doesn’t mean people will start respecting you or loving you. They still will hold you for your nature and attitude. You have to be persisting in your ‘changed behaviour’ for them to see the change in you.

You can’t say that if I become good they will treat me bad so I am not becoming good. – bad argument. One has to be gentle, kind and compassionate in all circumstances. No excuses there!

“Many people died due to its poison. It was dreaded in that village and in the neighbouring villages too.”- the snake changed its behavior now. It is not being hit because of its ‘goodness’. Understand this correctly. It is facing all the hatred for what it had done in the past.

It had killed and hurt so many. It had controlled people with fear. When the fear goes away, then that fear in people gets changed into hatred and violence. That is exactly what happened here too.

So is the case in our life too. By changing we can’t say ‘I am forgiving them though they are hurting me’. No, they are not hurting you for what you are now. They are hurting you for what you have done in the past. They are hurting you for how you have hurt others in the past.

For what you are now, you will receive that reaction in your future. Undertand the connection correctly.

Remember, you are not being abused or hurt because you are good!

Contd....

# me my Guru series, Buddha and the snake, hiss but not bite, be firm but gentle, 

also read suggested on this topic https://kantipadam.blogspot.com/2009/03/oh-god.html

Me, my Guru - On humility, courage and contentment

 

Me, my Guru - On humility, courage and contentment

“Guruji, I want to overcome my insecurities. What do I do?” asked one.

“Guruji, I want to walk the path of spirituality and cover quite a distance in this very life. Tell me the technique to do the same” asked another.

“But me, Guruji, would want to be simply happy and content” pitched in the third.

“Guruji, I am insulted a lot. I feel inferior and wish to earn the respect that I deserve. I don’t want to feel the pain and undergo the suffering of being insulted and mocked at by all!” cried the one from back.

“Just be humble to accept your flaws, courageous enough to admit them and be sensible enough to correct them. You’ll overcome your pain and suffering and you’ll feel confident, fearless, content and happy. All at once!” replied our guru. 

The answer looked simple for it was crisp and small. But, its application challenged us to a lifetime. But, if we wanted what we said we did, then there was no short-cut method for this. We accepted it when she said it. But, did we have honesty and self-love enough to practice it till we mastered it was the question we needed to find an answer to. And that took time. We all knew it. So, we just took the solution on paper and went with it to apply it in life!

***   

# humility, courage, ego, fear, spirituality, pride, fearless, confident, 

also read previous post: https://kantipadam.blogspot.com/2019/08/sayings-and-quotes.html 

and read this link to see humility in action:https://kantipadam.blogspot.com/2014/11/on-being-humble.html 

read the entire article though i have given partial link to the post....

Questions covered:

• We all face insults, sarcasm, criticism, and judgemental remarks in our lives. How to build on our reserve to overcome being hurt by the same?
• How to overcome fear of insecurities?
• How to overcome inferiority complex?
• What attitudes to be developed to walk the path of spirituality?
• What to do to be content and happy?

Points to be noted:

• As long as we hide our real intentions and nature from ourselves, we are prone to suffering because of insults, sarcasm and remarks from others.
• Know thyself to overcome every problem of your life is the Key and panacea to one's life!
• When once you know yourself, your weakness and ACCEPT IT then you take away the power to hurt you because of your weakness from others. They no longer hurt you when you know it yourself and accept it.
• Don't shy away from looking at yourself. You are making yourself vulnerable to other's insults. 
• To look within we all need lots of courage. And the good news is we all have that courage, may be some of us have to dig a little deeper than many.
• Job doesn't end by just knowing our faults. Also be sensible and committed to work on them ASAP. Then, no one can hurt you anymore. No one can stop your growth too!

on love - Bhagavatam

...contd....

So you see desire expresses itself in various shades – all of which are termed as ‘love’ by the subject. Many times, the subject (the one who declares he is in love) knows it’s’ lust and yet will use word love – not out of ignorance but out of smartness. Lust by itself explains its intentions openly. But no one wants to ‘accept’ that feeling. They want to camouflage their intentions behind the best and accepted pure cover of ‘love’. That way, their desire becomes (only in the eyes of others) valid, acceptable and good. Lust on the other hand becomes its evil forsaken twin. We use word ‘love’ to sell our dark intentions.

“How can you say all our feelings are ‘lust’? On what basis are you converting our love into lust?” asked Vijaya hurt.

Both Chanda and Vijaya had disagreed with Guruji and both questioned her explanation. Yet there was world of difference between both. One came from anger and the other from a belief that Guruji doesn’t have an intention to hurt us or insult us. Because, of that belief, Vijaya felt guilty of her feelings and was hurt with her guilt and hence this hurt did not spit venom of anger on to Guruji. What you said depended solely on from ‘where’ you said was so true here!

“No. I am not saying that your every feeling is based on lust. But.......ok let me put it differently. Let me explain ‘love’ again. Then you decide for yourself what you feel. Good enough?”

We all agreed on that. This was instead of being either defensive or offensive; we actually would get a clear picture of the whole issue. Again, understanding or accepting it depended on our sole discretion.

“I’ll broadly classify love as in three stages. The first stage ‘love’ is to satisfy self. I love mangoes. Not because of mangoes but for the joy it gives ‘me’. ‘Me’ is the key word here. I love anything and everything that ‘pleases’ me or ‘gives me joy’. If the same mango becomes stale, I spit it out. So I don’t ‘love’ mango (put the stress of mango), but ‘I’ (put the stress of ‘I’ here) love mangoes because I am enjoying while eating it. Forget it if you are not able to get it. Understand it this way. At first level or lowest level you ‘love’ things and people that fulfill your need and cater to please your senses. At this level, the stress is always on I, me, myself ONLY. (If any of you can give an example to illustrate this, you are welcome).

Much, much below this level of love is lust. “Love is nothing but sex”. If this is the definition of love and basis of relationship between man and woman, what else could you expect that man say apart from “Everyday since marriage, when I come home, I am crying from within. I’ve been suffering every day of my life”. This man will not only be unhappy and suffering but will be the cause of suffering to the one who is staying with him. I say ‘stay’ because there is nothing as ‘living’ with this sick mind.

...contd.....