On soulmates and love!

 

On soulmates and love!

Don’t swipe for a soulmate. Build a soul so strong that even death respects your discipline!

“Khudi ko kar kuch ithna buland ke khud khuda aake tujhse pooche ke bol bande teri razaa kya hai?”

“Make yourself so strong that the God himself is forced to come down and ask you “Pray, tell me your wish!”

People wish for someone to make them happy, complete and secure. And all the ads have been so twisted to make you believe that it is so!!!!

But, the truth, the absolute Truth is just the opposite of all this "romantic beliefs" that people carry with them. The broken will never find "True love". Soulmate doesn't make you feel secure or complete. On the contrary he makes you question every belief you held of "security". He will rattle your security, beliefs and every way possible till you find "yourself". Then when the job is done, he may or may not be part of your life. His job was to just help you navigate towards yourself - that's all!

That is the hard way to do it. There is a sensible way to go about the whole thing too - start the journey within - all by yourself! Don't wait for anyone to come along. Don't wait of any goodies to come your way for you are doing this painful job! Just do it for it is the only sensible and needed thing to do in life! Just do it for it is essential for you! Just do it for it takes you towards completeness, peace and security. Then, many times when you are whole on your own and don't want or need anyone, then walks in "your soulmate" to show how it is to share something whole with the other whole"! And that my dear, is the time "One actually truly loves and experiences love".

Not the other way round!

********** 

# soulmates, partners in love, love, on relationships, finding self, know yourself, completeness, on love, on peace and security, soul agenda, 

previous posts suggested on this topic https://kantipadam.blogspot.com/search?q=Me%2C+my+guru+%E2%80%93+on+knowing+self+and+mind+training%21 

On sayings and quotes!

 

On sayings and quotes!

The sun does not forget a village just because it is small – African Proverb.

# soul connectedness, we all are one, oneness, vasudaika kutumbam we all are one family, awareness, spirituality, proverbs and idioms, 

On proverbs and idioms!

 

On proverbs and idioms!

One beetle recognizes another – Irish proverb

It means it takes a thief to recognize a thief.

It takes a good man to recognize good in the other.

It means only a Buddha can recognize the other Buddha.

The evil and mean can see only evil and mean in the other.

As YOU ARE, so YOU SEE!

Good or bad – it depends on you!

also read suggested from previous posts https://kantipadam.blogspot.com/2022/12/me-my-guru-on-perception.html 

# you are what you see, as you are so you see, outer world reflection of inner world, 

Then and now!

 

Then and now!

Then, I complained a lot and was grateful a little.

Now, I am grateful most of the time and complain a little.

Complaints and gratitude were then and so they are now – yet, both are not same!

Then, I desired more and appreciated little (of what I had).

Now, I appreciate a lot and desire little. (appreciate here means being with the thing that you possess, spending time with the one who desired, using things that you acquired and so on and so forth)

Then, I desired and appreciated and so do I now – yet – both are not same!

Inspite of many things seemingly similar, they are not same!

Are you able to see the difference?

People ask "What did you gain through healing? How is your life different from one before?"

Many times, things remaining "the same", yet they don't remain "same". They seem different. We relate with them differently. We understand differently. We see differently. We respond differently. 

So, you see, healing is just not able "acquiring or gaining something". It is also and may be more to do with this "difference" that comes within us!

# process of healing, self healing, awareness, perspective, what you see is not what is, growth, 

also read suggested from previous posts: https://kantipadam.blogspot.com/2024/06/stories-in-blog-and-their.html 

https://kantipadam.blogspot.com/2013/06/me-my-guru.html

What to do with the problem?

 

Contd.....

What to do with the problem?

“Why did God make it so tedious? If only I can get everything immediately just by wishing. He is sadist for making such rules and making me do all this hard work?”

 – May be you are right – who knows!!? But, even then what can you do about it? Can you pick a fight with HIM and win and then run the Universe your way? If so, all the best, go ahead and do it. If you are “just a simple a no-body human” (in your words) then zip it up and work it the way all the people successful and happy do. Work your way to solve your problem. 

So, in the nutshell look at the problem to solve it. Stop calling an issue a problem and be stuck there with it. As long as one lives, there will be issues cropping up and we need to step up and address them. That is what is called as life! That in other words is problems coming and us resolving them or facing them.

Problem or challenge or opportunity - it's all how you see it!

Concluded.......

# life, beauty of life, challenges of life, opportunities of life, life lessons, problems and solutions, facts of life, there is no easy life, grace, growth, hurdles in life, 

Suggested reads from previous posts https://kantipadam.blogspot.com/2024/06/shaayari-on-problems-over-god-or-god.html

Question time :

Did this post reach you?

Did you receive your answer or solution?

Did it serve its purpose?

What to do with the problem?

 

Contd.....

What to do with the problem?

4. Now write your problem - JUST THE PROBLEM - without adding any prefix or adjectives to it. Just what the problem is. Now the problem - many times is found to be a very small one that can be handled if correctly broken down to "small doable actions for a set period of time". 

Most just say "I WANT this thing to go this way etc" and think the issue will wonderfully be fitted into their "WANT of imagination". NO! It doesn't work that way.

Understand the problem first. Look into it directly. See what you consider a problem. Then look at ways to fix it. Then work on the action plan. Have patience as your action plan is being executed. It takes time for the job to be done. Wait! See the results and know if you like it. Did it turn out the way you wanted it or not? Make the necessary changes in your action plan to get the desired results. And repeat the process till you get what you desired.

“But maam, I don’t want to do all this process. Why can’t you just make some magic and let things go my way?”

Me – If I had to and can make things go your way, I would have done it my way and wiped you out with my magic – na rahegee bansuri, na bajhegee baans (no flute, no music). Would I not make my life much more easier that way?

Contd.......

# life, beauty of life, challenges of life, opportunities of life, life lessons, problems and solutions, facts of life, there is no easy life, grace, growth, hurdles in life, 

also read suggested from previous posts https://kantipadam.blogspot.com/search?q=Me%2C+My+Guru+-+On+life+and+death+%E2%80%93+III%21

What to do with the problem?

 

Contd.....

What to do with the problem?

So, there is a problem! Fine!

1. Take a deep breath and look at the problem. Don't feel it, don't try to solve it. Just keep looking at it till your breath becomes normal.

2. Next, Word your problem. Write it down. Don't live it in your mind. Write it. Writing doesn't mean "mailing me your "chaata bharatam". NO!!! Just write for yourself. Now look at your writing. Most of the times - a. it is complaints using emotional blackmail - "maam, I am suffering so much, I have so much of stress, My family is worried about me as I am stressing about it and losing health, 

 b. it is criticizing - it points at the one who is responsible 

c. Self-pity - it says statements like "Why did it happen to me?" etc 

d. it says "How you don't deserve it etc etc" 

e. Scapegoating - It says "How some other person is supposed to fix it and he is not doing it" f. Giving a larger picture and space to your problem with words like "It is big problem maam, it is impossible, it is urgent, it is huge.....

3. Delete everything that comes under such categories. Delete every sentence of your problem that reflects these thoughts. 

Contd.......

# life, beauty of life, challenges of life, opportunities of life, life lessons, problems and solutions, facts of life, there is no easy life, grace, growth, hurdles in life, 

also read suggested from previous post https://kantipadam.blogspot.com/2021/11/on-problems-and-solutions.html 

What to do with the problem?

 

What to do with the problem?

Problem – How to solve it and what to do with it?

How you understand, address and face the problem reflects your clarity of thought and your level of consciousness! A person who is clear in conscience and mind has a pure heart. He will look at the problem to solve it. He will not sit to complain about it or try to play a victim-card with his problem in his life. For him, a problem means only one thing – a puzzle to be solved. That’s all! He gets excited may be but no other emotion like pain, fear or suffering enters his being! He enjoys facing problem as it gives him an opportunity to put his abilities and skills to good use. It’s like a warrior loves to be in a battle-field. A soldier is trained to fight. For him, war gives him an opportunity to prove himself. So he loves it.

                                                 

Contd.......

# life, beauty of life, challenges of life, opportunities of life, life lessons, problems and solutions, facts of life, there is no easy life, grace, growth, hurdles in life, 

suggested read from previous post - https://kantipadam.blogspot.com/search?q=Me%2C+My+Guru+%E2%80%93+On+Hindrances+in+problem+solving 

On sayings and quotes!

 

On sayings and quotes!

“Diseases of the soul are far more dangerous than those of the body” – English proverb

read suggested from previous posts https://kantipadam.blogspot.com/2009/03/blog-post.html

# disease of the soul, healing self, what healing actually is, attitudes and their impact on the soul quality, belief systems and their impact on belief systems

On quotes and sayings!

 

On quotes and sayings!

Do not draw your sword to kill a fly – Korean proverb

 

Be authentic! Be yourself!

 

Be authentic! Be yourself!

You’ll always be brave in someone’s mind and a coward in another’s, strong to one and fragile to another, good to one and terrible to another.

You will be seen as annoying to one and comforting to another. Some will feel anxious around you and some will find peace in your company. Some will see you as “too much” while others will see you as a gift!

The World will look at you from their subjective point of view. The World is never going to agree on a definition of who you are!

So you might as well live the way that feels true to your heart.

Be yourself. Be the authentic you!

Because at the end of the day, all healing boils down to just this – are you real and genuine? Or, or you fake and performing?

So what are you?

And what would you want to be??

********

# fake and real, genuine, being truthful, on healing, true to yourself, on trust, on spirituality, being closer to God, how others view you, freedom,

Questions addressed:

What does it mean to be spiritual?

When does journey towards spirituality start?

How to overcome our pains and sufferings?

Free yourself from need for validation of others!

Read suggested from previous posts : https://kantipadam.blogspot.com/2015/02/perception.html 

Question time:

So, what does it mean to be authentic?

What stops you from being real?

Which are the circumstances you fake it?

How do you feel when you are real?

And how do you feel when you are performing for others?

What did you understand from this post and this exercise?????????

Humko kis ke gham ne maara – Ghulam Ali Sahab – Writer Masroor Anwar

 

Contd.......

Point to note: Read this poem tens of times.....listen to it more number of times...understand it and then come back to this explanation........don't let LAZINESS win and read it before-hand...........

Humko kis ke gham ne maara – Ghulam Ali Sahab – Writer Masroor Anwar

Meaning :

It is so beautifully said here - The wounds of one's heart never gives peace to the person. The reason is not that we GOT WOUNDED. The reason is that we REVISE our wounds with every excuse - here it is beautifully told as "whenever the breeze blows my pain surfaces". It is a conscious effort on our part. What happens to us is "Karma" - that we don't have control over. But, we let one incident, person, desire to become so powerful that we remind ourselves of our 'long lost pain' again and again with the slightest excuse. 

There is no respite to our pain till we heal it completely!!!

It is common for all to cry over things that happened or didn't happen as per one's wish. But, here the poet beautifully says that "My pain is not that you broke my heart but that you took so long to break it". This is the turning point in every person's life when he is ready to break free from his suffering. This attitude and perspective is the one that FREES the person from ALL HIS SUFFERING. It is ultimately the PAIN that holds the key to release from pain! How poetic and how profoundly true! 

We are ever in the business of show-casing or casting the other person as "VILLAIN" be it relative, friend, Guru, God or lover. The day we put it aside and say "Who broke my heart is not that important now - let's discuss that on a later day - for now, let's just concentrate on my pain and heart break" we will find the path that leads us to spirituality! This is the ONLY path to spirituality! 

We are so hell bent on knowing the cause of our pain - why it happened, who is responsible, why they did etc etc. But, the poet says "Do not ask me the cause of my pain, your name would pop up" meaning - we don't even give it a thought that even I could have caused pain to the other while all the time showing my so-called respect, concern or fake gratitude to that person. That's why he says in the city of friends, not even one came forward to help him. People are just fake. All who talk don't live up to in the time of an emergency.

When a stranger hurts us, we can easily shrug it off. But when the pain is given by the one whom we love, trust and care about, then that pain is so immense that it breaks us. But it is exactly that kind of hatred and pain that also releases us from all other bondages. When we break down and call out to help - we expect help from all those whom we expect would come running to our aid - but when it is not met, when the same people don't rise to the occasion, then that truth hits us hard and we see through all the masks and lies we were telling/living with ourselves. We face our reality for what it is. That, my dear is the first step towards knowing yourself!

The love is nothing but a game of gamble. We pay the price of loyalty and yet lose. Who is to say who won and who lost in this game? Let's keep that for another day!

There is no lose to the person who has loved and been loyal. There is no lose to the person who has been RIGHT AND ACTED ACCORDING TO DHARMA. But this "hisaab" is for another day!

# shayaari, on love, losing everything to gain all, everything has a purpose, spiritual awakening, breakdown situation that becomes break through situation, cause of pain and suffering in our life, role of pain in our life, life situations and the way to look at them, perspective and attitude that can change pain into manna from heaven, all that's painful is not bad, pain can be the just right thing for us to wake up, path to abundance, path of pain leads sometimes to ever lasting life,

The shayaari can not be explained fully if it is understood by a person. Only a fraction of the understanding can be shared depending upon the level of the hearer. That is both the sadness and pitiful state of the one who understands it. Many get just the words. But who has lived it finds solace to his pain and heart in these words. But then, that is only for the blessed few!

I say it all in few words of the poet and yet the meaning is not grasped by the one to whom it is addressed. The dialogue though complete remains unheard! 

Humko kis ke gham ne maara – Ghulam Ali Sahab – Writer Masroor Anwar

 

Humko kis ke gham ne maara – Ghulam Ali Sahab – Writer Masroor Anwar

 

Dil ke choton ne kabhi

Chaen se hamein sone na diya

Jab chali sard hawaa

Mein ne tujhko yaad kiya

दिल के चोटों ने कभी 

चैन से हमें सोने ना दिया 

जब चली सर्द हवा 

मैंने तुझको याद किया।  

The wounds of my heart 

never let me sleep in peace

Whenever cold breeze blows

I think of you!

Iska rona nahin kyon tum ne kiya dil barbaad

Is ka gham hai ke bahut der mein barbaad kiya

इसका रोना नहीं क्यों तुमने किया दिल बर्बाद 

इस का ग़म है के बहुत देर में बर्बाद किया।

I am not crying that you broke my heart or why you broke it

My grief /sorrow is that you took so long to break it!

Humko kiske gham ne maara

Yeh kahaani phir sahi

Kisne thoda dil hamaara

Yeh kahaani phir sahi

हमको किसके ग़म ने मारा 

ये कहानी फिर सही 

किसने तोडा दिल हमारा 

ये कहानी फिर सही। 

whose grief has broken me

let's leave that story for another time

who broke my heart

let's leave that story for another time

 

Dil ke lutne ka sabab pooch na sabke saamne

Naam aayega tumhara yeh kahaani phir sahi

दिल के लूटने का सबब पूछो न सबके सामने 

नाम आएगा तुम्हारा ये कहानी फिर सही। 

Do not ask me the reason/cause of my heart break

your name would come up, but let's leave that story for another time

 

Nafraton ke theer kha kar doston ke shaher mein

Humne kis kis ko pukaara yeh kahaani phir sahi

नफरतों के तीर खाकर दोस्तों के शहर में 

हमने किस किस को पुकारा ये कहानी फिर सही। 

Having been wounded by arrows of hatred in the city of friends

Whom all did I call, let's leave that story for another time

 

Kya bataayen pyaar ki baazi wafaa ki rah mein

Kaun jeeta kaun haara yeh kahaani phir sahi

क्या बतायें प्यार की बाज़ी वफ़ा की राह  में 

कौन जीता कौन हारा यह कहानी फिर सही। 

What can I possibly say about the gamble of love in the lanes of loyalty

Who won, who lost, let's leave that story for another time.

Contd...........

# shayaari, on love, losing everything to gain all, everything has a purpose, spiritual awakening, breakdown situation that becomes break through situation, cause of pain and suffering in our life, role of pain in our life, life situations and the way to look at them, perspective and attitude that can change pain into manna from heaven, all that's painful is not bad, pain can be the just right thing for us to wake up, path to abundance, path of pain leads sometimes to ever lasting life,