on children

On questions and children

If you haven't answered this query, do that first and only then continue reading this post, otherwise you'll not benefit from the same........
https://kantipadam.blogspot.com/search?q=single+child+is+selfish

All your answers are good. We may go back to them later. Now I want you to look at the centre from which you answered this question.

Were you defensive while answering this question?

Did you place yourself in the place of a ‘single child’ or ‘parent of a single child’ while answering this question? If so why?

Were you justifying your opinion or a decision while answering this question?

This was a simple question. Why did you make it personal?

Let’s assume you are born in Hyderabad (India) and so are emotionally connected to this place but are working and settled presently in Paris (France) and if someone asks ‘What is the capital of France?’ how will you answer that question?

Will you say ‘Paris but Hyderabad is more beautiful etc etc’?

Won’t you simply say ‘Paris’?

You may be emotionally connected to your birthplace yet will answer a question based on the facts – right?

Then why change the rule for questions related to relationships and people?

Now let’s redo this exercise again. Take 4-5 cases of families where there are 4-5 children (look into previous generation, you’ll get them easily). Are all the children in that family selfless, caring and loving? Are they all responsible? Write down qualities and attitudes of each person in that family (only children or siblings). Now do the same for 4-5 such families with 4 and more kids in them.

Now take 4-5 cases where there is only 1 kid (just look into today’s generation). Assess each child’s nature. Are they all selfish, arrogant and adamant?

Why is there a difference in their nature? What do YOU think are the reasons for their character and its development?

Now tell, is the number of kid the only reason or causative reason for child to be ‘selfish, arrogant, adamant’?

Have you seen the change in your answer?

Sometimes, the answer may remain the same but the feelings that you experienced while answering it had changed. why?

Where did this come from?

See, how our clarity changes when we shift from being subjective to objective? Let’s learn ‘detachment’ the right way. Hope you have understood the importance of being detached to see things clearly and correctly. This is the detachment I have been talking about. Not ‘leaving’ people and situations behind’ as some wonderful souls keep ‘misquoting and misinterpreting me’.

Develop this way of dealing and seeing things and situations. You will have ‘right perception’ and will be able to take right decisions then. Never identify yourself with the situation or person when arriving at a decision or to experience an emotion. Don’t connect with the situation as someone is explaining about themselves or their life situations. NEVER! Listen but with detachment! It is not NEVER LISTEN – it is LISTEN but with detachment!

Change the perspective lady!

 Contd........ 

Change the perspective lady! 

Whenever it was sunny, she would cry thinking “oh my poor child! How will husband of my eldest daughter sell umbrellas enough now, since people would not buy umbrellas when it is not raining?” Thinking of her eldest daughter’s problems and lack of abundance, she would worry and cry the whole day!

When it rained, she would think “Oh, my poor second daughter! How will her husband go fishing now that it is raining? How will my daughter wade through these tough times?”

This way both on sunny and rainy days she would cry one way or the other. She came to be called the ‘Cry Lady’. She was mocked by her villagers. She felt insulted. She was hurt. She thought no one understood her. She lived a lonely life! 

A monk came to this village called ‘Reason’. He saw her crying every single day! He felt bad for her. He asked her the reason for her pain and suffering. She gave her ‘valid reasons’ for crying. The monk saw her pain. He saw ‘the cause of her pain’ too! He knew the solution to her problem too!

He smiled and said “Dear lady, do not cry! From now on, you need cry no more. I’ve a technique that’ll help you to be happy and loved. You’ll find release from your suffering. You’ll have friends in your life. You’ll forget what it is to be lonely and sad!” 

The old woman – mayya became interested on hearing his words. She sought his advice and pleaded him to teach ‘the technique’ to her. In reply monk gave her this technique “on sunny days, think of your younger daughter. Thank Sun-God for being ‘sunny’. These are the days her husband will go out into deep seas and catch lots of fish. The more fish he catches the more he will sell and more he sells more he makes money. Think of all the abundance in her life that ‘Sunny days’ would bring!

And on rainy days, thank ‘Rain God’ for it is because of Him that it is raining. And then think of how it is good for your elder daughter. Think of all the umbrellas your eldest son-in-law would be able to sell and make money! Think of all the abundance that could and would come into their lives. Be happy for your eldest daughter!” So saying, he left. 

Mayya found this technique easy to follow. She did not use her reasoning to find flaws in the technique. She did not use her logic to 'understand' how the technique works or what benefits she would receive. She believed the monk and his words! She followed his advice to the T. and in very short time; she was found smiling and laughing the whole day! There was ‘thanks’ on her lips most part of the day! Very soon, she came to be called ‘smiling lady’. People found her expression pleasant. They found her smile soothing and warm. She had friends everywhere she went! She no longer was sad, she no longer knew pain. She no longer suffered! 

Contd........ 

# change the perspective lady story, perspective, perception, attitude and its effect, good and bad, seasons of life, life and its aspects, celebration of life, reasons to celebrate in life, complaining about life, grateful for life .... 

also read suggested : https://kantipadam.blogspot.com/search?q=On+perception 

Pointers in this post : 

"This way both on sunny and rainy days she would cry one way or the other. She came to be called the ‘Cry Lady’. She was mocked by her villagers. She felt insulted. She was hurt. She thought no one understood her. She lived a lonely life! " - Look at this para and the one previous to this. Aren't we like this most of the time? Isn't our complaints so similar to 'mayya'? First we ask for a wish and cry till it is not fulfilled. And then complain saying if God/Reiki knew that I would be unhappy with this desire being fulfilled, why did it fulfill my wish in the first place? Either way, we ONLY COMPLAIN. Either way, we are sad, irritated, angry, demanding and seeking explanations from God/Reiki/Guru. Think about it! 

"She did not use her reasoning to find flaws in the technique. She did not use her logic to 'understand' how the technique works or what benefits she would receive. She believed the monk and his words! " - Technique is not to get results that we seek. They can also just be something to change our perspective, attitude and cleanse us of our negativities like anger, lust, demanding nature, ingratitude, selfishness and greed etc. When a person is looking at the 'end result' then there is no change in his attitude and character and then he blames the technique. Then the right technique also doesn't give the right results. And the blame is on the technique. Remember, a drunken and angry driver meets with an accident in the best of vehicles too. Vehicle is not at fault. Remember, the technique is to sober you from a 'person who is drunk with anger, lust, adamant and selfish nature'. The sooner the person realises that the sooner is his healing.

Look at the last para. When her attitude changed, she found all her complaints gone. SHE was the cause of pain in her life. Not the people of her village! She was the cause of her suffering - not the seasons of nature. 

How do you think this post would help you in any way to better your perspective and frame of mind?

Why do you think the village is called 'Reason'? What does it represent and why?

On children

Just a small question!

As I was walking in the park overheard a couple talking and their statement was “The problem is that these ‘single’ children are always selfish. They don’t know to share and care! In a household where there are more than one child, they grow up to be responsible and loving children.”

What do you say? And why?

Please answer this question – however silly you may think your answer will be, still answer. It’s important....