on children

On questions and children

If you haven't answered this query, do that first and only then continue reading this post, otherwise you'll not benefit from the same........
https://kantipadam.blogspot.com/search?q=single+child+is+selfish

All your answers are good. We may go back to them later. Now I want you to look at the centre from which you answered this question.

Were you defensive while answering this question?

Did you place yourself in the place of a ‘single child’ or ‘parent of a single child’ while answering this question? If so why?

Were you justifying your opinion or a decision while answering this question?

This was a simple question. Why did you make it personal?

Let’s assume you are born in Hyderabad (India) and so are emotionally connected to this place but are working and settled presently in Paris (France) and if someone asks ‘What is the capital of France?’ how will you answer that question?

Will you say ‘Paris but Hyderabad is more beautiful etc etc’?

Won’t you simply say ‘Paris’?

You may be emotionally connected to your birthplace yet will answer a question based on the facts – right?

Then why change the rule for questions related to relationships and people?

Now let’s redo this exercise again. Take 4-5 cases of families where there are 4-5 children (look into previous generation, you’ll get them easily). Are all the children in that family selfless, caring and loving? Are they all responsible? Write down qualities and attitudes of each person in that family (only children or siblings). Now do the same for 4-5 such families with 4 and more kids in them.

Now take 4-5 cases where there is only 1 kid (just look into today’s generation). Assess each child’s nature. Are they all selfish, arrogant and adamant?

Why is there a difference in their nature? What do YOU think are the reasons for their character and its development?

Now tell, is the number of kid the only reason or causative reason for child to be ‘selfish, arrogant, adamant’?

Have you seen the change in your answer?

Sometimes, the answer may remain the same but the feelings that you experienced while answering it had changed. why?

Where did this come from?

See, how our clarity changes when we shift from being subjective to objective? Let’s learn ‘detachment’ the right way. Hope you have understood the importance of being detached to see things clearly and correctly. This is the detachment I have been talking about. Not ‘leaving’ people and situations behind’ as some wonderful souls keep ‘misquoting and misinterpreting me’.

Develop this way of dealing and seeing things and situations. You will have ‘right perception’ and will be able to take right decisions then. Never identify yourself with the situation or person when arriving at a decision or to experience an emotion. Don’t connect with the situation as someone is explaining about themselves or their life situations. NEVER! Listen but with detachment! It is not NEVER LISTEN – it is LISTEN but with detachment!