one evening, baby bear goes for a walk in the woods with his mamma...and he chats along.......(he has just 10 minutes before read the blogspot - kantipadam, so asks questions based on its posts...)
Baby Bear :If gratitude is just all that requires to make one successful and happy, how come it is found wanting in most of the mankind?
Mamma Bear : Because, gratitude requires that you first don’t hold any ill-feelings for anyone.
Bear Bear : Then, why do we hold anything bad against anyone?
Mamma Bear : ‘cause of expectations. When people don’t fit into our expectations, we feel cheated by them. We feel hurt and we presume it is because of them or their act. We carry these hurts and nurture either pain or anger for such of the people in our life.
Baby bear : But the wound often gets healed over the period of Time. Isn’t it?
Mamma Bear : No. Not these type. They tend to become deep unhealed open wound over the period of time that we prick periodically to see that they are not healed – ever.
Baby bear : oh! But why would anyone do that? Why wouldn’t people want to heal their wounds? Why would they work so hard to keep it fresh and hurting for such long stretch of time?
Mamma Bear : Somewhere down the line, they develop taste buds for pain. They start enjoying being in pain. When they don’t have a present issue to generate any pain feeling in them, then they log on to old memories and wounds. They re-live those painful moments (both imaginary or real) to experience pain. This pain then fans their ego and they are happy that they are suffering.
Baby bear : What? What did you say? They are HAPPY that they are SUFFERING? But how? Why? I mean ,,,,,I am confused!
Mamma bear : Every time, we are experiencing a certain emotion, we release chemicals into our system. The chemical reaction that follows generates corresponding by products which we know or name as feelings. Certain feelings are mild and are hardly felt in few areas of our body or for a very short span of time only. Body doesn’t experience great highs in such situations. But sometimes, certain feelings invoke great thrust of chemical reaction and as a result we experience intense feelings throughout the body.
Baby bear : I know, like when I get a prize fish for a catch. Right?
Mamma bear : Right. Like a drug, body longs for such feelings at regular intervals. And we feed the body such feelings by going into our past and by re-living some painful moments.
Baby bear : Something like a drug addict…..
Mamma bear : Absolutely right…
Baby bear : Very interesting but frightening too… now, how do I get de-addicted to pain then? In the first place, can I get de-addicted?
Mamma bear : Yes, ofcourse. Absolutely. Most important is that you make a commitment to yourself that you want to get de-addicted from pain. Next, forgive and move on in life.
Baby bear : But, if I forgive, how will they ever know that they need to change?
Mamma bear : That exactly is the point. Them changing or they knowing is not the criteria here at all. It’s all about your happiness. And the key to your happiness is forgive anyone whom you feel has hurt you. ‘cause the fact is many times, the pain is real but the feeling that they have wronged is only presumed. You may not know the complete picture at all.
Baby bear : But I know they have hurt me. How can I be wrong?
Mamma bear : ‘cause you may be right but not totally right.
Baby bear : what the hell, what’s the difference anyhow?
Mamma bear : Let me tell you a story first.
There was a man who had four sons. He wanted his sons to learn not to judge things too quickly. So he sent them each on a quest, in turn, to go and look at a pear tree that was a great distance away.
The first son went in the winter, the second in the spring, the third in
summer, and the youngest son in the fall.
When they had all gone and come back, he called them together to describe what they had seen.
The first son said that the tree was ugly, bent, and twisted.
The second son said no it was covered with green buds and full of promise.
The third son disagreed; he said it was laden with blossoms that smelled so sweet and looked so beautiful, it was the most graceful thing he had ever seen.
The last son disagreed with all of them; he said it was ripe and drooping with fruit, full of life and fulfillment.
The man then explained to his sons that they were all right, because they had each seen but only one season in the tree's life.
He told them that you cannot judge a tree, or a person, by only one season, and that the essence of who they are and the pleasure, joy, and love that come from that life can only be measured at the end, when all the seasons are up.
If you give up when it's winter, you will miss the promise of your spring, the beauty of your summer, fulfillment of your fall.
So, you see mamma bear continued, you can’t let the pain of one season destroy the joy of all the rest.
Don't judge life by one difficult season. Persevere through the difficult patches and better times are sure to come some time or later. One act of the person or persons doesn’t constitute their complete character. One or few acts of a person cannot be taken to hold it against him. To judge, you need to take him as a whole. And many times, we hardly know him in other aspects. Moreover, our expectations and pain blind us from seeing the good in that person for now and for ever. So move on……. Only when you let go, you actually are free from past and can glide into the future happily. Life is a journey. Don’t carry the unnecessary luggage of pain, hurt throughout your life. At the end of the journey, you anyhow need to leave it behind and go. Then why carry it through out your life and cry of pain?
Baby bear : Seems to make sense, but phir bhi, lekin kintu, parantu…..
Mamma bear : Sleep on this thought and I will talk to you later…..
Baby bear is put to sleep and mamma bear also snoozes alongside..
I came out silently. Need to do some thinking on this, so all the best for de-addiction. Will sign off, while you do some forgiving,
ok folks, bye for now,
revathi
(also refer topic dt:3/5/09 and 12/3/09)
