It’s love, love and love – all along!

 

Contd....

It’s love, love and love – all along!

And it takes janmas to learn to do it right in every way and in every single angle. Just loving in right direction is not enough, even the right dosage should be right. And therein lies the scope and need of healing. Therein is reflected ‘clarity of thought’. Therein is our growth reflected.

We can love anyone and everyone. But knowing to love right is the ‘tough art’. For eg. I may love my mom or kid for all I care. But if my love doesn’t know to draw a line of ‘self-protect’ then my love becomes ‘harmful’ for me. Inspire of my love being selfless, it remains harmful for me. So, I need to learn to be selfless and all giving in love for others. At the same time, I also need to protect myself of any harm whatsoever in this deal. Then it is said that I know to ‘love right’. That is the whole purpose of every situation and relationship in our live - To learn to love right!

To change the flavour of this a little and add that flavour more till we hit upon the right taste of it!!! Life is all about learning and living it! Love is all we need!

Life is all about love only!

And what a beautiful scenario it is – we are given everything every second of lives just to learn, embrace, accept and experience love in all its shades!

Happy loving!

Concluded.....     

***     

# love, 

read further on love : https://kantipadam.blogspot.com/2009/03/real-growth-is-in-letting-go.html 

Read the link to understand the following points :

• That love IS even when things don't go our way.
• Love doesn't mean we are to be gratified in any way.
• Denial is also a form of love.
• Love expresses itself in denial too!

Read the link and get to understand various other aspects of love...know what love is to see it the right way.....

Question time :

Have you seen love?

on love - Bhagavatam

...contd....

on love - Bhagavatam

Both these forms express ‘love’ as an action – a verb. It’s an act between two persons. But the highest form and only thing that’s actually referred correctly as ‘Love’ is when it is a ‘noun’ – a state of existence. In other lower levels of its expression, object, subject and action exist i.e., in “I love him”, I is kartha or subject, him is karma or object and love is kriya or action. Love ‘here’ is action verb. But when I say ‘love’ I don’t mean those levels at all! I mean, when ‘love’ is noun, i.e., is a state of being – where I don’t exist as my ‘ego’ should go away if there is love. ‘You’ and ‘love’ both can’t exist at a time. If I exist, love can’t and if love exists, I can’t. It doesn’t mean I die. It means ‘I’ as an attitude dies. I as an ego die.

When I meet him, my persona dies and I meet him, then it is love. Like-wise, he loses ‘himself’ (here again it is not about physically losing – but mentally as an ego he doesn’t exist). For both, the other only exists. I don’t desire as I don’t exist and for me since only he exists, only his desire matters and exists. Similarly for him too! He doesn’t exist and only I exist for him. Since, this happens, there is no desire and only love remains (Are you still with me?). Then we both exist only ‘in love’

and therefore we become love. That is the state of existence. For example, I love singing. As I sing, I am aware of singing. I hear the song, its tone, lyrics, and notations and then as I keep singing, slowly I lose myself in singing so much so that now I no longer know tone, lyrics or anything as I eventually become singing and ultimately I become ‘the song’. That is the time I experience ‘love’ as I become it.  ‘Love’ is God here at this stage. When you don’t exist, you realize you own it all, you pervade all! But it is not easy to go there, so in this stage if any person practices ‘non-selfishness’ or living for the other, it easily takes that one to this stage.

It means you ‘give, give and give’ to the object of your love as much as possible and is thinking ways and means of giving more. In the process ‘you’ as an ego keeps dying more and more. Gandhi gave himself to the country and didn’t expect anything for ‘himself’ in return. That itself healed him completely and gave that aura of purity and divinity that made him courageous enough to face the British Empire and fearful enough for his opponents!

Meera sang to express her love. She wasn’t working to become ‘Indian Idol’ or asking for votes or money in exchange for her song. I am not saying it is wrong. It just doesn’t let you grow towards ‘love’ – that’s all! Instead lust for money, fame, success creeps into the persona so silently and breaks so many people who were crowned with success at very start of their career. Care to throw in couple of names? Because, she sought nothing, all fame, name, adoration came her way – not only during her times but centuries later too! That’s the paradox of life. You get more and more of what you don’t want! The more you give away something, the more you receive of that!

Radha loved Krishna day in and day out. Her every thought revolved around him. She was in the midst of her worldly duties and yet her mind was centered around Krishna. Whenever I quote such examples I get to hear from people wonderful feedbacks like: “Guruji, just as you asked us to love, I am loving ‘X’ now. Just as Radha, I am married to ‘Y’ and ‘X’ is my Krishna and I his Radha. I am doing exactly as you guided us!”

“What you said is absolutely true maam ‘Love like Radha to experience that bliss’. I did and I am happy. It’s just that my wife is not your student, so doesn’t understand my love. Shall I get her to you for explanation?” and many more in this way. I repeat, I am NOT SUGGESTING extra-marital affair by giving this example do what you want to do with your life, just don’t use my quotes in wrong places to get away with your lustful acts. Radha unlike these people didn’t own, possess or manipulate Krishna. Her love only teaches us to be unselfish. It teaches us to

‘let go’ of our love if that’s what our love wants”. My need, want and desire mean nothing. All that matters is his needs, his wants and his dreams.” If I can think on such grounds, than I become ‘love’. For that I don’t need to touch my love, possess him, own him, sleep with him or take anything from him. Infact, he need not even know that I love him. Because, I am not interested in his part of reaction. My whole concern is that I want him to be happy, safe and successful even if it means being away from me. Please don’t use ‘right examples’ in ‘wrong places’ to do what you want to do. Inspite of fooling people with such quotes, you’ll know that you had manipulated and that knowing will not make you pure. You’ll not even respect yourself. Then how can you expect someone else to respect you?

...contd.....

# on love - bhagavatam, Epics of India, Radha and Krishna, 

Points to understand:

• Just because we use the right examples, our wrongs don't become right.
• People understand as per their level of consciousness. Adi guru, Lord Shiva himself may come and lecture and yet their understanding will remain faithful to their level of consciousness.
• Level of consciousness decides our clarity of thought.
• Our clarity of thought decides and impacts our decisions.
• And our decisions decide whether we become slaves to our senses or becoming masters of our senses!
• Logical arguments may lead to wrong assumptions and understandings.
• Better to have a person who has better clarity of thought than you to guide you till your consciousness level has reached a point worthy of guiding you in the right path. In Eastern culture, that's why Guru/Master is given so much of importance for he does this job.

on love - Bhagavatam

…contd….

“But Guruji you haven’t yet started talking about his love” asked someone from behind.

“And pray what is it that I’ve been talking about?” she asked amused.

“You have been talking about his childhood, his attitudes and strengths. You have said nothing about Radha or Gopis when you talked about his childhood or life in Gokul. Even now you mentioned Rukmi, the Prince of Chedi but didn’t explain about his love marriage with Rukmini.

“Now I get it” she started talking still amused and laughing at that question “Love is something is between man and woman (usually) as per your understanding. But as per dictionary ‘love’ also means ‘A great interest and pleasure in something like ‘his love for football’, ‘we share a love of music’. It also means to like or enjoy very much like ‘I'd love a cup of tea’, ‘I just love dancing’ or simply for pleasure rather than profit as in ‘he played for the love of the game’. So you see it can be for anyone or anything. By that definition, Gandhiji loved India and its people. Mother Theresa loved to serve the poor, Einstein loved Science, Paramahamsa loved Mother Kali and Swami Vivekananada loved his Guru. Like-wise Krishna loved ‘Dharma’ and his entire life was centered on upholding it. So, as I talked about his ‘loving’ taking cattle to graze, ‘love’ for discipline of practising yoga and wrestling, ‘love’ for his parents (inspite of them having hidden the fact that they were his foster parents), his love for Yadavas which did not find its’ excuse in wanting power, his ‘love’ for his community ‘Yadava’ which made him ‘create’ Dwaraka for them – of course not single-handedly and ultimately his love for ‘Dharma’ that made him work for world – order. All through I was talking only about his various loves’. He did have an affair – an affair that too a roaring one with life. That’s one hell of an affair that each one of us should learn to have – an affair that teaches you to celebrate and respect every second of life.

A look at Krishna’s face tells you scores of things about this affair of his! That’s why he is ‘premamayi’ filled with love. That’s why he is ‘the one’ to go to to learn about ‘love’.

Only a person who loves ‘himself’ can love life. And only a person who loves and respect both himself and life can love the other. If I myself am lacking in love, how can and what can I give the other?

एक भिकारी दूसरे भिखारी को क्या दे सकता है ?

Ek bhikari doosre bhikari ko kya de saktha hai?

What can one beggar give to the other?

When an insecure person profuses love to another insecure, incomplete human, its’ like one beggar is telling the other “I’ll make you king of this world!” How stupid and hilarious is that!”

“So Guruji, what is it that he had with his wives and Gopis? Was it not love?”

Though I’ve talked umpteen times about love, it is one topic that is still not understood. ‘Love’ is most  quoted or should I say misquoted, misunderstood, abused, used and yet hardly understood word in any language. (Please read “http://kantipadam.blogspot.in search?q=anger+and+desire"  and http://kantipadam.blogspot.in/search?q=love before reading further).

...contd....

on love - Bhagavatam

...contd.....

Still this thing was beyond me. Moreover, I was not much of kid person, so all the more Latin and Greek to me. Few of others too felt this way. But we didn’t openly state this to our Guruji. Not that we were afraid of her or that she wouldn’t explain differently but we somehow felt we were not yet ready to understand it. That didn’t mean we wouldn’t ‘listen’ to what she was telling. We would soak in each syllable that she uttered – not as much for understanding it but to put it on hold. We wanted to

hang on to it for few days to come and keep looking at our feelings all through our day. Maybe, the understanding would happen eventually. Earlier too when we didn’t get all that she said we would just grasp all the words and keep playing them in the mind again and again in the midst of our

maddening, chaotic and boring chores. And doing so we always had a break-through in few weeks time and then we would return to her with that understanding only to be pushed little further by her words. These exercises had bettered our perspective, outlook in so many areas and issues. I am sure it would be the same in our and everyone’s favourite topic – love!

“The next step in love would be mutual i.e., I would benefit the other and he me in this love affair – a la symbiotic relationship. Suppose I love singing, I sing would be first stage. But in next I love singing and hence sing but also want singing to give me name, fame and success. Here love is mutual. If I love someone (it can be a sibling, parent, child, friend or a spouse – don’t always read ‘love’ as relationship between man and woman only), I expect them to love me back. I also expect them to behave as per my expectation. If not, I feel let down and blame the other for breaking my heart. It’s more of barter system here. The relationship is that of ‘I’ scratch, you scratch’. I fought for my country’s freedom, upliftment etc and hence want recognition and some thing in return comes under this category. If I believe in only taking in the name of love, that is no love, it is lust dipped completely in selfishness. In love I’ll look after and cater to your

needs and in exchange you cater to my needs. But many times, people don’t play fair here. They say ‘I love her’ but she doesn’t do A-Z things for me, so I get irritated. If such is the case, there is no love. In the name of love, people demand their rights – be it as a spouse, friend or parent. They don’t look into their side of responsibility to cater and give in that relationship. Beware of such loves! Don’t let people suck you off your energy in the name of love. Such people are ‘human parasites’ – logging on to others and eating them off in the name of love. 

Love also is caring, sharing, being concerned, doing things for the other. If this is missing either from one or both involved it’s no love! In the name of love, you can’t expect the other to work like a servant under you. If there is one who is demanding, ever finding fault with the other (for lack of fulfilling his duties as per his role), ever expecting and conditioning the

other by way of behaviour, habits and what not, know it is an ‘abusive relationship’. There is no love lost between them. Just put your foot down and walk out of such relationships. That doesn’t mean your responsibilities don’t count. No. No one can run away from responsibilities in any relationship. Rights and responsibilities go hand-in-hand. Only when it is give and take between both, does it quality as love.

...contd.....